No I am not talking about suicide. Life just seems to be crushing down on me from all sides.
I have 0 contact with friends. The girl I care about is going through hell but there is nothing I can do to comfort her or anything. All I can do is sit at my computer and hope at some point she gets on. She doesn't realize what it does to me to know what she is going through. (I will not go into depth about her because it is not my story to tell)
My family is acting abnoxious. My little sisters won't stop picking at me and now my parents are trying to make us perfect and are enforcing stupid rules like speaking with finesse like we're scholars. we aren't swearing or anything so I don't get what the problem is. It drives me crazy. and then they act self righteous about it when in fact they do speaking isn't even up to par.
I just want all of this crap to end. I can't wait to get out of the house but I have to wait until the semester is up before I can ditch this place. I don't want to stay here! Gaaah! I know I am messed up and I am a total jerk. I am thinking too much about myself. I really can't take this much longer. I feel like I am going to explode all the time and I don't even have anyone to tell this too. I can't vent because then everyone around me will think I am crazy and these next few months will be even worse.
A pompous jerk is really getting on my nerves. But I can't do anything about it because I only see him at church and now that I am considered an adult I can get it serious trouble for fighting someone.
I am depressed all the time. This is the exact opposite of who I normally am (I think )
breathe... breathe... breathe... ok
I'm really sorry. I honestly needed to get all of this out or I was going to do something stupid. Yes I know I'm crazy. Not legally but who needs a stupid piece of paper. I know everyone who reads this will probably realize that I am a selfcentered jerk. I think I just need to get out of the house.
signing out,
Aedammair
p.s. sorry! hopefully I will be in a better mood later
I have 0 contact with friends. The girl I care about is going through hell but there is nothing I can do to comfort her or anything. All I can do is sit at my computer and hope at some point she gets on. She doesn't realize what it does to me to know what she is going through. (I will not go into depth about her because it is not my story to tell)
My family is acting abnoxious. My little sisters won't stop picking at me and now my parents are trying to make us perfect and are enforcing stupid rules like speaking with finesse like we're scholars. we aren't swearing or anything so I don't get what the problem is. It drives me crazy. and then they act self righteous about it when in fact they do speaking isn't even up to par.
I just want all of this crap to end. I can't wait to get out of the house but I have to wait until the semester is up before I can ditch this place. I don't want to stay here! Gaaah! I know I am messed up and I am a total jerk. I am thinking too much about myself. I really can't take this much longer. I feel like I am going to explode all the time and I don't even have anyone to tell this too. I can't vent because then everyone around me will think I am crazy and these next few months will be even worse.
A pompous jerk is really getting on my nerves. But I can't do anything about it because I only see him at church and now that I am considered an adult I can get it serious trouble for fighting someone.
I am depressed all the time. This is the exact opposite of who I normally am (I think )
breathe... breathe... breathe... ok
I'm really sorry. I honestly needed to get all of this out or I was going to do something stupid. Yes I know I'm crazy. Not legally but who needs a stupid piece of paper. I know everyone who reads this will probably realize that I am a selfcentered jerk. I think I just need to get out of the house.
signing out,
Aedammair
p.s. sorry! hopefully I will be in a better mood later