Men another question special for you lol

[Lonesome Crow]

I guess this thread saperate the men from boys And the women from girls...
Getting involve with a woman like you would bring out the best in a man..

Love N Intimatcy is not about sex
U had plenty of men come into ur life...somewhere along the line U also know when some men r full of honeysuckle N not afriad to rob them and/or tell them to fresia off...especially the mean ones.
Being a so call house wife.( a live in maid N sex slave) isnt ur gig. U also had plenty of men that offered 2 take u home..Fix u N promise to give everything as long as u give them everything Ur reply to that would be..
" im high maintenance" put ur money were ur mouth is. Talk is cheap..Money talks..bullshit walks.lol
Yes..ull have baggages no matter how much u work on urself. U wont be perfect n will have plentty of moments. This is where love compassion Understanding patience Tolerance and no expectations gets practice.

If a man cant love u for u..fresia him.
U dnt need him in ur life he has issues of his own. U know this.

 

[freedom]

great questions! to answer them:

#1- i would not want to know about her sexual past. honestly, it wouldn't matter to me. if i really loved her, and she really loved me, then why should it matter? i think that if you have to ask about a person's sexual past with the intent of making a decision on where and how far the relationship will go, then you probably shouldn't be with him/her anyway.

#2- i, for one, would not mind at all if i loved and/or were in love with her. i am great at reading people and reading between the lines, and i would have probably figured it out by the time i got to those stages (loving/falling in love).

#3- i would stay the same. again, if i really loved her and she really loved me, i would not be impacted at all by her sexual past, even if she were to tell me about it bluntly and suddenly.

i think that if you really love someone, little details like these (because they are little details) should not matter. i'm not trying to bash you, i don't mean to offend you, and i'm sorry if i do offend you, but if you have to ask these questions to obtain some kind of closure on a situation that you're living through right now, then i think your insecurities have got the best of you. love, in its purest and rawest form, knows no boundries because it busts right through them. i hope that my answers serve you in some way. good day, friend.

 

[Sterling]

Everyone has past experiences that they are not proud of, you have changed for the better so you should not feel ashamed of your past, at all. If someone is going to base a relationship on how many people you've been with then they're not worth a second of your time. Personally, I don't think you should have to tell someone about your sexual past, unless you have some sort of STD. If you have that, they do deserve to know, especially if it is something serious such as HIV. You need someone who will want you for who you are now, and not judge you for who you were then.

 

[Stephanie]

I don't blame you for feeling anxious over these things. They're pretty heavy issues to have to deal with. When we're young we don't really think about the long-term consequences of our actions. We never think, "Will I regret this in the future?"

I learned a long time ago to ask that question before I do/say much of anything. I slip now and then but overall, I do remember this. But the strange thing is, I don't believe in regret. I did what I did because I was doing the best I could with what I knew. There are things I'm not proud of, but I did it and come hell or high water, it's part of who I was at the time.

But you're not that same person you were then. It sounds to me like that part of your past is ancient history. It's good you're up front about your STDs - that says a lot about your character. You own up to the fact that you made some mistakes that will always be part of you (or until they find a cure for them, if they ever do).

But revealing those details in your past really depends on the guy and on you. Some men would prefer not to know their loved ones' past, as evidenced by some of the replies here. Others will need to know everything in order to feel secure. But since those details are so deeply personal, I would probably wait and see if the guy is serious about you in the long-run. And maybe taking it slow and not rushing into a sexual relationship may help ease the anxieties somewhat. I know it's hard to do that, especially when emotions and needs are running high, but if this is really causing you so much anxiety, it might be a good idea.

It sounds like you're on the right track as far as having straightened your life out. Just keep putting one foot forward.

And I've noticed several people on this board have wagged their fingers at you to change your user name which I kind of felt was a bit offensive. We all pick our user names for a reason and I reckon you have some very good ones for using it. Don't let anyone tell you what your identity should be whether it be online or in real life. You know why you chose that as your handle. If it helps in some way we all can't understand, more power to you.

Good luck, and I hope this helps.

 

[septicemia]

Thank you all for the wonderful responses!

 

[LGH1288]

Hi septicemia -- I'm glad you're feeling a bit happier. Stephanie had a lot of good advice worth listening to. And, I agree about your nic. It has meaning to you so it's good to go. It's like a reminder that you should be ever-vigilant to protect yourself against danger. Be well, LG

 

[septicemia]

You are right, Stephanie gave me a ton of good advice! Everyone has, even if some of it differs from others.

 

[Stephanie]

Advice is only good if it's useful to the person receiving it. If you're not able to use the advice to positive effect, it's just hot air.

 

[Brian]

Brian I hate to say it, but they probably were herpes.

The thing is though she has them even on her arms from time to time. It's a disorder wherein her body retains too much creatine, an excess of which basically causes acne. I've seen documented proof so I'm not concerned.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Knowing the past of some girls caused me to deliver pain to some very deserving individuals. Although the women in question didn't appreciate it as much as I did, I am glad that justice was served. So, yes, I think that honesty can lead only to good things.

 

[septicemia]

There is no reason to hurt anyone in my past anyway Lol.

The way I imagine it coming up with some future man I might be in love with, is while watching some TV show or something where some guy finds out his GF or wife used to do porn or be an escort, and my (imaginary) man would say somethign like "Ew I would NEVER want to be with a hooker, thats gross" or something like that, and since he had just directly expressed desire to NOT be with a woman who had done that, then I would feel obligated to tell him I had, to actually give him that option, let him make that decision for himself.

I recently met this man who is basically the man of my dreams. It literally makes me feel ill thinking about trying to tell him that I have incurable stds, I would rather him never get to know me, then lose his respect after getting to know me. Because of this, I havnt acted at all on the fact that I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him. Hes just too good for me!

 

[Badjedidude]

Hes just too good for me!

Too good for you NOW or back in the past?

You gotta let go of your history and reconstruct a new life for yourself -- a life in which you are worth something.

 

[septicemia]

Both lol. I know there are a lot of worthy things about me, but clearly there are some things about me that are major deal breakers for some men too.

 

[Soup]

Everyone has a past, yo.

Accept it or move on.

 

[alonewanderer]

There is no reason to hurt anyone in my past anyway Lol.

The way I imagine it coming up with some future man I might be in love with, is while watching some TV show or something where some guy finds out his GF or wife used to do porn or be an escort, and my (imaginary) man would say somethign like "Ew I would NEVER want to be with a hooker, thats gross" or something like that, and since he had just directly expressed desire to NOT be with a woman who had done that, then I would feel obligated to tell him I had, to actually give him that option, let him make that decision for himself.

I recently met this man who is basically the man of my dreams. It literally makes me feel ill thinking about trying to tell him that I have incurable stds, I would rather him never get to know me, then lose his respect after getting to know me. Because of this, I havnt acted at all on the fact that I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him. Hes just too good for me!

The truth shall set you free

 

[SophiaGrace]

Thanks guys! I totally have no intentions of telling any man of my past. I think in general men cant handle information like that without exploiting it in one way or another. Plus I feel information like this would cause more hurt and damage to any relationship then good.

As long as you didnt pass diseases onto him from your past I think this was okay.

 

[septicemia]

Well as it turns out, I have since told one man some of the things, not all. He was fine with the escort thing, probably even more turned on by it, but it didnt change anything for him. It was the stds that did the relationship in. LIke I said in my response to the man with the escort addiction, I have considered going back, and especially recently, but (luckily) my fear of being hurt or killed is keeping me from acting on it. I already have ads picked out that I would respond to, I check the casual encounters of craigslist on a daily basis at this point. Its weird, and it makes me feel like a major weirdo.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I can't say that I've completely forgiven my g/f her past. Mostly, she's not upset enough about it and that irritates me. I like to think that my example of righteous anger should serve as a model for her, but she's not quite acquiring it as swiftly as I would have liked. She is gradually adapting, though.

 

[kamya]

Why do you want your gf to be upset about her past? Sounds manipulative to me. And how exactly do you show her this "righteous anger"?

 

[septicemia]

Ignored one that sounds really terrible. If you judge her for her past then you clearly dont deserve to be with her. If I was with a man who thought of me like you think of her, I would kick him to the curb faster then he could blink. Either get over it, or dump her. YOu dont have a right to be so judgmental. It sounds like you dont like her, and your whole relationship sounds abusive towards her. Your "Righteous Anger" BARF!!!!