BeyondShy said:
That's another thing that people say that is easier said than done. I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse but I have a very good memory, so when people say or do something to me I don't forget it even though they do after years go by. I agree that the present is the most important thing but I tend to take things very personal so it is hard.
I really wanted to say more about what your original post, but from recent experiences here, I feel hesitated to do so. Its hard to figure out these days who genuinely needs help and is serious about it, or just wants other people, esp. ladies, to pamper them. I assume that you are not one of those arrogant entitled people, thus I will invest a bit of my time here and I have high hopes from you.
Look, I am not one of the people who was never lonely, or let's say, in some way, not experiencing things that you have. I have been there, seen it, if you have read my old threads. Left clueless, not knowing what to do, what is the way. Nobody will tell you the way because they don't even know themselves, all they can give you is comfort, sympathy. But don't become to obsessed with them, its just a small step. Then you would go on and on, looking for solutions, "easier ones", because the obvious ones seem to be either lame or "easier said than done", you will read books, take medications, sign up on forums, try to grow a fake personality to trick people into "loving" and "accepting" you.
Nothing is going to work, it doesn't.
The problem with you is, that you are not greedy and selfish. And wait, I am not saying this in a way of "stealing things away" or "hurting people to get your thing done", etc. But if you have paid attention, the existence has so much to offer to you, so much that you can never have it all. And it says, "Please take it, its all free, as much as you can take." It just waits for you with its offers but you are not there, you are busy with the past, something non existent, a present that is no more.
It waits and waits, but you never arrive, and you miss it. So much that what you could get, so much that you could do, all missed out. Only because you "thought" or "felt" that you don't deserve it. The existence is not biased, it is indifferent to what you think you are. It is ready, waiting for you, time is passing by, life is flowing constantly, and the only one who is not there, is you. Where are you? Why are you not here? Come and take all that you can. Its fine, you didn't go to your prom, there are kids who live their whole life without knowing what is a prom, or what it feels to be under a roof. Be grateful, you are not one of them. If you didn't face these failures, you wouldn't grow.
The realization of the above, is the first step.
Then the 2nd step. Its a subtle process, yeah, then start with the simple, the physical. "Living in the moment" is not a philosophical phrase. If you ever did an adventure sport, you might have noticed, that all your senses become alive, alert. Your mind (or as you call it, "memory") stops, you are noticing everything around you, maybe its just a survival instinct, but this is what I am talking about.
Haven't you noticed a truly "confident" person, he enters the room, he hasn't said anything yet, but you can see through his confidence? What is it? Its his presence, he is there not just physically, but also mentally and consciously. Reason? Because he is not worrying about future or the past.
Physical is easy, so start with that. Become conscious of your actions, instead of giving energy to your "memories", give energy to your senses. If you move your hand, move it consciously. If you smell something, smell it consciously, if you see something, see it consciously. If you ever gave this a try, if you are doing something consciously, you are not thinking of the past. Tell me, was it easier said than done or easier done than said?
Sometimes, you might not have realized, and you suddenly find yourself doing something, like you don't know when your finger went into your nose, or for this half an hour, you were sitting on your phone. Try this, try to move your hand, and do it consciously, look at your hand move,for example to take something lying besides you. Watch your hand thoroughly, each finger, and you will feel a subtle
grace . That's why they say, "In consciousness, there is grace." Its not a philosophical phrase either.
Look around for a while, listen to the sounds around you, give a chance to your senses to become alive, they are your own, don't take them for granted. Become sensitive. These are ready made tools at your disposal, sire.
You will forget to do this very often, but its because you have never done that before, but whenever you remember, do it. Over time, you will become frequent, and there will be a time, when you are totally conscious of your actions, you are aware of what you are doing.
Then the 3rd step.
Now go higher, the mind. This involves, becoming conscious of your thoughts. Not stopping them, not controlling them, but watching them. Detach from your thoughts, and watch what your mind is screening through. Don't stop them, and don't judge them like, "Oh this is a depressing thought", "This sounds great" ,etc. Just become a witness, not emotionally attached. If you do this correctly, soon, thoughts will reduce, you will think lesser. Its not a bad thing, you are not losing your ability to think, but taking control of your mind. Which doesn't happen by controlling your thoughts, but by detaching yourself from them and watching them. You will think, what you want to think. You will become a master of your mind.
Then it is all easy, the 4th step.
Then become conscious of your feelings, emotions. Watch how you feel when you encounter something. If you made it till here, then for the first time, you won't depend on past experiences, you won't react. You will drop all your knowledge, all your theories, concepts, beliefs, expectations, doctrines, etc. You will act spontaneously, based on the present. This is called response. Now, you are completely in the present, you are spontaneous, living moment to moment. Your ego will turn into ashes. Because, the physical body and a biocomputer are not the only tools we are born with. And this spontaneity is such a huge gift, it will open all the doors for you, doors of immense intelligence, and intuition. Then you are sane. Congratulations, you just arrived to the present moment.
Now it is your choice, you are at a crossroad. You can take 3 paths from here. First, you can stay obsessed with your past. Second, you can go on seeking through non functional "solutions" or this. All the best.
