My enemy is myself

[BeyondShy]

I think part of the problem with OKCupid is that, because it can end up a numbers game, some people spam the same message to a whole bunch of different people therefore messages like your nice greeting is likely to be seen as a message that might have been sent to many people and is more likely to be ignored unfortunately. It can help to make it a bit more specific to the person's profile just so it isn't taken that way.

Not with my messages. What I do is I read their profiles and comment on something that they wrote and I try to apply it towards me. Say for example if someone says they like the Fast and Furious movies. I'll comment on that and then I will tell them that I have not had a chance to see the latest one and if they think it is worth seeing. Something like that.

But I get ignored anyway.

Hope things get better for you.

I doubt it.

 

[BeyondShy]

A bit of an update here. I joined a Meet-up group also awhile back and this friday evening they are going to have a bowling get-together.

I don't bowl and I haven't bowled in ten years, give or take a year. But I am considering going to this one because, well, I don't really know. Well maybe I do. I am more comfortable here in front of my monitor than with people. So far there are ten people going and eight of them are women. The last time I went to a meet-up there was one other guy there and he never shut up once and every time I worked up enough courage to say something I had a hard time doing it because he kept going on and on. Naturally he got all the attention too.

There's a different guy signed up to go to this one and I am sure it will be more of the same. He'll get all the attention and I'll have to sit back watching it happen again. And no, I can't predict the future but I can make a very good guess.

This is why I have not even confirmed if I am going to go. I know I should but I have solid reasons why I shouldn't.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I look in the mirror and I have no trouble at all seeing the qualities that I believe are lacking when I compare them to other people. I am only five feet six inches tall and I wish I were taller. I wish I were a bit thinner. I wish I could smile as easy as I see others do. I even practice smiling in the mirror and it just never looks right to me, like I'm making a funny face or something.

What you BELIEVE is lacking is your main problem. You can't see yourself in reality because you think there must be all these flaws, most of which aren't really there are are inconsequential or even emphasized in your head.

I think this is the issue with a lot of people. Many of us think that things about ourselves are way worse than they really are. I know I don't even have to say this, but it's much easier said than done to let go of imperfections and flaws. That they're not as explosive as we make them out to be. And that they're only a problem because we make them one.

 

[Despicable Me]

This is why I have not even confirmed if I am going to go. I know I should but I have solid reasons why I shouldn't.

Don't be like that. You know you have zero reasons not to go.
You're going and that's final.

 

[BeyondShy]

Don't be like that. You know you have zero reasons not to go.
You're going and that's final.

After careful consideration and with the inability to come up with a decent and believable excuse not to attend this tomorrow night I informed the organizer of this event that I will be attending.

Everyone stay tuned to this thread on Saturday as I come back and report to everyone how yours truly somehow messed it up again.

Like I said I have not bowled in years. This thing starts at 6:00 pm and I am considering getting there even earlier just so I can bowl a practice game or two just to get familiar with bowling again. I don't want to embarrass myself that much by showing them I am a bad bowler.

 

[Sometimes]

You say this is a meetup, right, not a bowling club? So you really don't have to be a good bowler. You don't have to impress.

 

[BeyondShy]

You say this is a meetup, right, not a bowling club? So you really don't have to be a good bowler. You don't have to impress.

Yes, this is a meetup group and not a bowling club.

 

[Katerina]

I hope you have a good time bowling and chatting with the meet-up group tonight.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I hope you have a good time bowling and chatting with the meet-up group tonight.

I hope so too. Good luck.

 

[BeyondShy]

I hope you have a good time bowling and chatting with the meet-up group tonight.

So do I. Thank you.

---

I hope so too. Good luck.

Thank you too ladyforsaken.

 

[Despicable Me]

Don't be like that. You know you have zero reasons not to go.
You're going and that's final.

After careful consideration and with the inability to come up with a decent and believable excuse not to attend this tomorrow night I informed the organizer of this event that I will be attending.

Everyone stay tuned to this thread on Saturday as I come back and report to everyone how yours truly somehow messed it up again.

That's the spirit!
... Wait, no, that's not it.

Don't worry, you'll be fine. I don't remember you saying you messed anything up last time you went. You just weren't able to open up yet, and that's fine. You shouldn't push yourself, just take your time. You just need to relax and have a good time. Enjoy yourself. You'll get there eventually.

And don't worry about being a good bowler. Like others said, it's a meetup not a bowling club. They don't expect you to be great at it. They'll still like you even if you're horrible at bowling. Maybe one of the girls might even think its cute if you're bad. You never know.

Have fun!

 

[BeyondShy]

And don't worry about being a good bowler. Like others said, it's a meetup not a bowling club. They don't expect you to be great at it. They'll still like you even if you're horrible at bowling. Maybe one of the girls might even think its cute if you're bad. You never know.

Have fun!

I can promise you one thing: I will be bad. So that's covered. Now the girl has to do her part.

 

[swflyers93]

This is my life, I am the enemy of myself. I put myself down before I even get into something. I don't give myself credit that I deserve and earned. I'm a glass half empty gal, all the time.

 

[BeyondShy]

I decided to come in here before I ran off to bed. I did go to the meet-up and I stayed for the entire thing. I also bowled and I did pretty bad too. I only bowled one game because there is something wrong with my left elbow. It really hurts at times and if I move it a certain way I can make the bone pop. And since I am a left-hander there was no way to avoid using it.

Enough of that. I told everyone that the reason why I bowled bad was because of that but I am going to tell you all here that wasn't the truth. If my elbow was not bothering me at all I still would have bowled bad.

I clapped for people when they had good frames and encouraged them when they began to bowl like me and I think they liked that. Once the bowling was done they all sat around and talked for awhile and even though I did not say much I showed them that I was paying attention when they were talking. I think it is important to do that.

The yapper from the first meeting ended up showing up but he didn't stay long. He talked up a storm again and in ten minutes said more words than I said in all of the month of April.

It was ok. I got home about a half hour ago and I went to their website to thank them for a nice evening and I had two people write back to thank me for coming and one went as far as asking about my arm.

That's really all that happened. I have no idea when there is another meeting but I will be informed of it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm a horrible bowler too. But when I did go bowling, I had fun with it. Lefty bowling all the way. As long as you had a good time, that's all that mattered.

 

[Katerina]

I'm glad it went okay and hope you got to know some of the other meet up people a little better. I'm also in the club of being left-handed and a terrible bowler.

 

[Despicable Me]

Sounds like everything went well. Just keep trying and eventually you'll be able to open up with them.

You could even send one of them a message back if you want, and just try to start a conversation. Why not?

 

[Sometimes]

I decided to come in here before I ran off to bed. I did go to the meet-up and I stayed for the entire thing.
...

It was ok. I got home about a half hour ago and I went to their website to thank them for a nice evening and I had two people write back to thank me for coming and one went as far as asking about my arm.

That's really all that happened. I have no idea when there is another meeting but I will be informed of it.

Good on ya! Obviously you were paid attention too, as well, because they took note of your injured arm. Don't have your pain in advance!

I'm so glad you had a nice time.

 

[BeyondShy]

You could even send one of them a message back if you want, and just try to start a conversation. Why not?

Oh, I did that too right after I came and posted in here. I went to their page and thanked the organizer for the event and everyone else who was there for a good time. Someone did write me back asking about my arm and I thanked them for asking.

---

Good on ya! Obviously you were paid attention too, as well, because they took note of your injured arm. Don't have your pain in advance!

I'm so glad you had a nice time.

Thank you very much.

 

[BeyondShy]

I guess I will use this thread to update things about myself instead of creating new ones.

Today was an odd day. Keep in mind that it wasn't a bad day but it was an odd day. Did you ever have a day where people were paying more attention to you than you were used to? It didn't make me uncomfortable or upset but I had to wonder what was so different today than any other day? Let me explain. I had to go to the supermarket because I was out of milk and salad and fruit. Well, I'm walking around and I noticed various girls glancing at me and smiling. I'm thinking to myself that maybe I look like someone else because it's only me. I couldn't figure it out. I did absolutely nothing different. Go figure. But hey, I'm not complaining at all.