LoneKiller
Well-known member
Hey Everyone.
This is without a doubt the hardest thread I've ever posted. My family doesn't even know. I trust you guys. I know it sounds stupid not wanting to tell my secret to my family, but am willing to share it online. I'm not sure why. I just feel more comfortable sharing with those who may have experienced it themselves. If I dropped this little bit of news to them after so long, it would crush them. Being loving parents, they would just blame themselves. I don't want that.
For 27 years I kept this secret. The reason I'm sharing this is because I feel that the experience might have something to do with my suffering today.
There are countless numbers of people who attribute their personal mental issues today to being molested early in their childhood. I don't know if that is a proven thing or just conjecture.
When I was around 10yo, my brother who was 14yo at the time found out from our mother that we had an older brother we didn't know of who was around 22yo at the time, and lived in BC. The second night he was there he was staying in another room with my brother who was 14yo.
In the middle of the night, he came into my room and got under the covers, and asked me if I wanted to play the "Tickle Touch" game. He said he and his girlfriend used to put one hand on their bellies and slide it down towards the genital area to see how long I could last without feeling ticklish.
I didn't get ticklish as he slid his hand further down and began touching me. He then took my hand and placed it over his genitals. Feeling awkward about it, I said to him that I'm going to tell mom about the game. He jumped out of bed and said "Don't!". So I didn't. Why the fresia didn't I!? I'll never understood that. Anyway, after a couple of days, he decided to go back to BC early. Gee, I wonder ******* why?
I'm just wondering if my experience had any role in the negative effects on my psyche. I understand if some of you don't care to comment. I'm incredibly embarrassed to tell this story, but I believe in being honest to you guys about everything, because I expect the same from all of you. It's only fair.
Do any of you know someone who feels like this? I just wanted to thank the viewers of this thread for putting up with the long text.
I can't describe the way I fell after typing this. It's new to me. I feel embarrassed, pissed off, confused, but strangely relieved.
I have no doubt that some have suffered much more than I did, but the thing that sucks is, there is no good level of abuse. If I stirred up any painful memories that some are trying to forget. I am so sorry.
God Bless.
Jason
This is without a doubt the hardest thread I've ever posted. My family doesn't even know. I trust you guys. I know it sounds stupid not wanting to tell my secret to my family, but am willing to share it online. I'm not sure why. I just feel more comfortable sharing with those who may have experienced it themselves. If I dropped this little bit of news to them after so long, it would crush them. Being loving parents, they would just blame themselves. I don't want that.
For 27 years I kept this secret. The reason I'm sharing this is because I feel that the experience might have something to do with my suffering today.
There are countless numbers of people who attribute their personal mental issues today to being molested early in their childhood. I don't know if that is a proven thing or just conjecture.
When I was around 10yo, my brother who was 14yo at the time found out from our mother that we had an older brother we didn't know of who was around 22yo at the time, and lived in BC. The second night he was there he was staying in another room with my brother who was 14yo.
In the middle of the night, he came into my room and got under the covers, and asked me if I wanted to play the "Tickle Touch" game. He said he and his girlfriend used to put one hand on their bellies and slide it down towards the genital area to see how long I could last without feeling ticklish.
I didn't get ticklish as he slid his hand further down and began touching me. He then took my hand and placed it over his genitals. Feeling awkward about it, I said to him that I'm going to tell mom about the game. He jumped out of bed and said "Don't!". So I didn't. Why the fresia didn't I!? I'll never understood that. Anyway, after a couple of days, he decided to go back to BC early. Gee, I wonder ******* why?
I'm just wondering if my experience had any role in the negative effects on my psyche. I understand if some of you don't care to comment. I'm incredibly embarrassed to tell this story, but I believe in being honest to you guys about everything, because I expect the same from all of you. It's only fair.
Do any of you know someone who feels like this? I just wanted to thank the viewers of this thread for putting up with the long text.
I can't describe the way I fell after typing this. It's new to me. I feel embarrassed, pissed off, confused, but strangely relieved.
I have no doubt that some have suffered much more than I did, but the thing that sucks is, there is no good level of abuse. If I stirred up any painful memories that some are trying to forget. I am so sorry.
God Bless.
Jason
