My sister just confessed that she created a fake profile to toy with a desperate man

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

nevermind

 

[Ghostwriter]

Your sister needs to grow up. Simple as that. Instead of taking care of her kids she's messing around dating sites?

 

[Barbaloot]

She's clearly in the wrong. But I don't think there is anything you can say that will make her stop - from the sounds of it, she is not capable of realizing that it's wrong on her own at this point in time. Some people just unfortunately do things like this, men and women alike, I guess there is some part of them that gets off on the power of the manipulation, the lie and the desire. It's really shameful, but don't paint all attractive women with the same brush because of what she's doing - I've known quite a few and they would never do something like this.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

nevermind

 

[rollingtrouble]

Well, I know she's not a bad person. She is a sweet person.

But I do know that she recently confessed that she hates men now. I suppose she is thinking that she will play with this guy, break his heart, and it'll make up for all the men who have toyed with her, abused her, and hurt her.

She needs therapy, massively. I know that. Both my mom and I have talked to each other about how she needs therapy. She doesn't seem to realize it, but this is a massive cry for help.

I know, that is more of my own issue than about her. I know all attractive women aren't like that. I just have a massive insecurity complex, tied to the way I've been treated by "some" attractive women in the past. I probably should bring it up in therapy, and since my therapist is a woman, she might be able to help me with that.

I just don't understand how someone can do something so cruel? It's something a 13 year old would do, not almost a 33 year old!

She doesn't sound like a very sweet person to me. Toying with someones emotions is probably one of the evilest things one person can do to another.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Oh well....she's learning to be a *****.
it's good for her.
She's not playng victim anymore.

Its good for him too. maybe he'll snap out of playing the victim too...

Growing pains.....

 

[flaneur]

It's not something that attractive people do, it's something that insecure people do. You've already described her set of issues. Rather than getting upset, which is the kind of response she's trying to evoke, you should let her know that you're sorry she's hurting badly enough to do something like that. That way, instead than getting a kick from it, she'll realize what it really makes her look like: someone in need of help.

 

[eviloreo]

i think stuff like that can be dangerious, toying with some guy like that, but at the same time people looking for love on those online sites for that purpose kinda have it coming to them (no offense).

But personally, just because of the type of person i am i would just let them do whatever, it doesnt concern me, thier business is their business.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

it's just part of the process.

She's just learning how to stand up for herself and releasing her anger.
so she's taking it to the extreem...but if she's been in a victim role rut...it's natrual
to do that when she's exerting herself out of the hole.

Eventaully she'll level off or stabalized....

But if you tell her she's all fucken up...she'll feel guilty and fall back into the hole or rut.

Its one of the reason why you dont fix people. She'll fix herself.

Get the fresia out of the way and let the miracle happens....

This is where being non-judgmental really comes into play.

My daughter gose though the samething sort of...
She's very soft spoken and very nice...but people take avantage of her.
It's hard for her to tell people to fresia off, get agressive and assertive when she needs to.
People that dont know her...may see her as a major *****, not lady like when she's standing up for herself.
but the people's dealing with arnt nice...they just look nice and play nice to the world. Very manipulative.
Wolves in sheep clothing....
It's not disneyland...man.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

nevermind

 

[rollingtrouble]

it's just part of the process.

She's just learning how to stand up for herself and releasing her anger.
so she's taking it to the extreem...but if she's been in a victim role rut...it's natrual
to do that when she's exerting herself out of the hole.

Eventaully she'll level off or stabalized....

But if you tell her she's all fucken up...she'll feel guilty and fall back into the hole or rut.

Its one of the reason why you dont fix people. She'll fix herself.

Get the fresia out of the way and let the miracle happens....

This is where being non-judgmental really comes into play.

There isn't any miracle process in action here at all. If she wants to get out of that victim rut she needs to direct that at the next asshat keeping her in it. The game she is playing is not "standing up" for herself at all. Thats like someone becoming a thief and start stealing just because someone stole from them. She is no different than the ******** that "victimzed" her now. Its not your problem to fix for sure, and shes not gonna fix herself by "victimizing" people that have not done anything to her except giving her attention. Shes an ******* now just like the ******** that made her that way. Thats not a "natural" thing, its weak and shows how screwed up she really is. She may grow up and quit playing all the games one day, until then she'll stay in one rut or another. Karma is keeping score, its what keeps the universe in balance.

 

[SophiaGrace]

you put too much weight on the attractiveness of women Muse...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

nevermind

 

[Lonesome Crow]

it's just part of the process.

She's just learning how to stand up for herself and releasing her anger.
so she's taking it to the extreem...but if she's been in a victim role rut...it's natrual
to do that when she's exerting herself out of the hole.

Eventaully she'll level off or stabalized....

But if you tell her she's all fucken up...she'll feel guilty and fall back into the hole or rut.

Its one of the reason why you dont fix people. She'll fix herself.

Get the fresia out of the way and let the miracle happens....

This is where being non-judgmental really comes into play.

There isn't any miracle process in action here at all. If she wants to get out of that victim rut she needs to direct that at the next asshat keeping her in it. The game she is playing is not "standing up" for herself at all. Thats like someone becoming a thief and start stealing just because someone stole from them. She is no different than the ******** that "victimzed" her now. Its not your problem to fix for sure, and shes not gonna fix herself by "victimizing" people that have not done anything to her except giving her attention. Shes an ******* now just like the ******** that made her that way. Thats not a "natural" thing, its weak and shows how screwed up she really is. She may grow up and quit playing all the games one day, until then she'll stay in one rut or another. Karma is keeping score, its what keeps the universe in balance.

karma dosnt exist....
if you believe it dose. then it'll be done on to you.

like I said...if you make her feel guilty it's just adds more guilt to her.
She's already in the process of stabalizing by confessing.
It's just acceptence and unconditional love.

all of these things that we're discussing are after the facts.

Been in recovery for too long. On both side of the coin.
Addiction, alcoholism, codependency...ect
There's alot the comes in the playing field of that arena.
Abusive relationship, dysfunctions, abandenment, isolations....ect
Most of not all people that enters recovery had lived through very
truamatic experince. Had been abused in one form or another.
Mental abuse, physical abuse, sexually abused...ect
It gets adress.....

You can tell her she has her head up her ass all day long
or tell her she's messed up. She needs help.
But you better have a workable salutions for her too.
A salution that will work for her...not for you.
A lot of copping skills and living tools that she must be willingly
somehow learn how to apply in her life.
Its not a shot in the arm instant gradification fixer upper.

And you certainly cant force her...she'll rebel

She didnt get that way over nite. She's certainly not going to
get well over nite. She'll probably act out several more times

Love...love heal wounds. It even burns away karma.
Unconditional love.

I love my daughter more than anything in life.
I wish for her to not suffer anytype of pains...even growing pains.

She's like a butterfly that's struggling out of the cacoon.
Through her struggles...she gains strenght in her wings.
If I touch her wings .She wont be able to fly.
I love her so I must ... let go.
That is the mirracle.

The only asshats around are the people standing on the outside judging her and condemning her.
The mother fucken rigthous perfect bitches casting stones.
Any of you fucken bitches that havnt sinned...cast a fucken stone...I dear you...go fucken right ahead.lmao
i didnt come to save the rightous bitches...I came to save the sinners.
I'll make another miracle so a blind man can see...excuse the fresia out of me..i got a fucken cross I gatta got
carry. BDSM...aint honeysuckle....

 

[VanillaCreme]

you put too much weight on the attractiveness of women Muse...

I think many people do. Which is what I mean by concentrating on the wrong thing. It's just proof, his sister is considered "attractive" yet she did something terrible.

 

[SophiaGrace]

nevermind

I liked your answer.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Muse, I don't mean to be rude since you seem to obviously care about your sister but she's a *****. That is just disgusting. This is a good example of wrong labels women get, when ones like her so something like this. I've heard of women doing it to catch a cheating boyfriend or husband but to just purposely mess with someone, that is despicable.

@Sophia, best signature ever!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Muse, I don't mean to be rude since you seem to obviously care about your sister but she's a *****. That is just disgusting. This is a good example of wrong labels women get, when ones like her so something like this. I've heard of women doing it to catch a cheating boyfriend or husband but to just purposely mess with someone, that is despicable.

@Sophia, best signature ever!

Well, I don't know what the guy is like. She revealed no details about him.

I just see it as a sign of immaturity, but whatever. I know it is a bad act, but I can't hate her, since I really do care about her.

Meh.

 

[rollingtrouble]

it's just part of the process.

She's just learning how to stand up for herself and releasing her anger.
so she's taking it to the extreem...but if she's been in a victim role rut...it's natrual
to do that when she's exerting herself out of the hole.

Eventaully she'll level off or stabalized....

But if you tell her she's all fucken up...she'll feel guilty and fall back into the hole or rut.

Its one of the reason why you dont fix people. She'll fix herself.

Get the fresia out of the way and let the miracle happens....

This is where being non-judgmental really comes into play.

There isn't any miracle process in action here at all. If she wants to get out of that victim rut she needs to direct that at the next asshat keeping her in it. The game she is playing is not "standing up" for herself at all. Thats like someone becoming a thief and start stealing just because someone stole from them. She is no different than the ******** that "victimzed" her now. Its not your problem to fix for sure, and shes not gonna fix herself by "victimizing" people that have not done anything to her except giving her attention. Shes an ******* now just like the ******** that made her that way. Thats not a "natural" thing, its weak and shows how screwed up she really is. She may grow up and quit playing all the games one day, until then she'll stay in one rut or another. Karma is keeping score, its what keeps the universe in balance.

karma dosnt exist....
if you believe it dose. then it'll be done on to you.

like I said...if you make her feel guilty it's just adds more guilt to her.
She's already in the process of stabalizing by confessing.
It's just acceptence and unconditional love.

all of these things that we're discussing are after the facts.

Been in recovery for too long. On both side of the coin.
Addiction, alcoholism, codependency...ect
There's alot the comes in the playing field of that arena.
Abusive relationship, dysfunctions, abandenment, isolations....ect
Most of not all people that enters recovery had lived through very
truamatic experince. Had been abused in one form or another.
Mental abuse, physical abuse, sexually abused...ect
It gets adress.....

You can tell her she has her head up her ass all day long
or tell her she's messed up. She needs help.
But you better have a workable salutions for her too.
A salution that will work for her...not for you.
A lot of copping skills and living tools that she must be willingly
somehow learn how to apply in her life.
Its not a shot in the arm instant gradification fixer upper.

And you certainly cant force her...she'll rebel

She didnt get that way over nite. She's certainly not going to
get well over nite. She'll probably act out several more times

Love...love heal wounds. It even burns away karma.
Unconditional love.

I love my daughter more than anything in life.
I wish for her to not suffer anytype of pains...even growing pains.

She's like a butterfly that's struggling out of the cacoon.
Through her struggles...she gains strenght in her wings.
If I touch her wings .She wont be able to fly.
I love her so I must ... let go.
That is the mirracle.

The only asshats around are the people standing on the outside judging her and condemning her.
The mother fucken rigthous perfect bitches casting stones.
Any of you fucken bitches that havnt sinned...cast a fucken stone...I dear you...go fucken right ahead.lmao
i didnt come to save the rightous bitches...I came to save the sinners.
I'll make another miracle so a blind man can see...excuse the fresia out of me..i got a fucken cross I gatta got
carry. BDSM...aint honeysuckle....

Ha! @ you aren't gonna save anyone or make any miracles at all! People are judged by their acts, the facts are that she chooses to be an ass and enjoys it. That makes her an ******* like the ******** that made her. It is what it is, and you are no more righteous or perfect than anyone here miracle man, go save your sinners and gatta got carry your cross indeed.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Lonesome Crow definitely has his enemies here. I guess he tells it like he sees it, which can either be a positive or negative thing, to different people.

He managed to get 30 or so points, because half the time he does offer helpful advice. But he is also majorly screwed up, and offers bad advice as well. This is one of them.

My sis is now mad, because my mom criticized her smoking, and told her to go smoke in the car. Unless she is a lurker on here, and is mad about that, too? I don't know if she realizes how I feel about her actions - I do love her dearly, but she makes bad decision after bad decision.

And it's not only cruel, it's unnecessary. She has 5 kids, no job, no income, and isn't going to school. What the fresia is she doing, exactly? That's what pisses me off. Okay, she threw together a dishwasher full of dirty dishes last night...great. I am the one feeding the animals, loading the dishwasher, doing laundry, cleaning up her messes (oh, did I neglect to tell you that she has turned our house into a pigsty?), and trying to deal with anxiety when she yells at her troubled 7 year old.

Great life right now, just great. I cope by writing music, listening to music, writing here, reading, and diving into my coursework at college. As a SA sufferer, I would avoid everyone else, anyway, but I have to push myself to interact, since she does jack honeysuckle.