My Thoughts On Those Suffering With Their Weight Issues

[LoneKiller]

Hi Everyone.

I'm just letting you all know in advance that this is going to be a long read.

Although I don't reply to a lot of the threads in the "Issues" section, I do read a lot of them, and peppered throughout, I've noticed that many members have much concern about socializing due to their weight.

It's very important to me that you know that I am not judging anyone. I'm not claiming to know what it feels like to be a person of a larger stature and the pain that comes with it. What I am posting is merely my opinion and feelings related to those who are overweight based on my life experiences.

Very few things piss me off more than when those who aren't of a larger stature make remarks such as: "You wanna lose weight? Try putting the Goddamn fork down for 2 seconds!". "Get your fat ass out of the fridge and go to the gym". These remarks coming from someone who hasn't, and probably never will be overweight, makes me want to smash them right in the face!

How can these jerk-offs possibly know how you feel and what you need to do to lose weight when they haven't experienced the bitter pain overweight some people must endure?! That's like me telling Shaquille O'Neal how it feels to have bad knees and how to fix them, after running up and down the court for 18 years, when I have never stepped on the pro ******* court in my life. If I made a remark like that to him, there's a strong chance he would have a few words for me. More than likely, very disrespectful ones at that. The man is over 7 feet tall and weighs roughly around 300lbs. How the hell am I qualified to advise him?

Do I think Faith Hill is hot? Would I like to bang her? Hell yes! It will never happen, but my point is this. Suppose we were married. We have sex 5 nights a week. What about the rest of the time? I'm going to want someone I can love. Someone I can talk to about anything. Someone to cry with. Someone who will love me unconditionally. A true companion.

I don't give a honeysuckle if anyone believes me when I say that the above mentioned qualities are more important than sex. Just because a woman or man is overweight, doesn't mean that they are incapable of being a wonderful companion who will support you. Who will love you. Who will always have a shoulder for you to cry on when you are hurting. Do people honestly think that an orgasm is as important as all of these qualities?! C'mon!

When I was in my teens, all I thought about was sex, sex, sex. The hottest chicks in school with a big bosom. Now that I am 37yo, sexual release takes a back seat to love. Personally, I enjoy being single at this point in my life, but that doesn't change my feelings that I am posting here. I do eventually want a woman in my life that I can grow old with and love. Just not at this particular time in my life right now.

I'm no Keith Urban. Does that make me less of a person? Does it rob me of the ability to love? Do I not get hurt? Overweight people's hearts beat just the same as anyone else's. I look back to my younger days in school, and remember all of the poor souls who were suffering from obesity and all of the hurtful names I called them, and I just want to ******* die. I can't believe how cruel and insensitive I was.

People would tell me that you were just a young kid. fresia that!! I knew those remarks were painful and still made them anyway. Using my age as an excuse is not only absurd, it's cowardly.

For any of you members or guests reading this. Know this. Don't let your weight rob you of the beauty that only comes from loving who you are. That is a true tragedy. Beauty comes in so many different forms. Too much emphasis is placed on sex these these days. Personally, I like a woman with a little beef on them.

An excellent example are the members in this forum. A while ago, I made a remark that compassion was absent in this forum, because I was angry, hurt, and upset. I soon realized that by speaking with several members, I was wrong. You all understood what I felt like, and made me feel better. What's more beautiful than that? Do you honestly think that after that, I give a fresia about how much members weigh?! How attractive they are?! HELL NO!!!

You are all so caring about each other. Why not show yourselves the same caring? Be proud of the good hearts you have. Be grateful. Start loving and caring about yourself as much as you do each other. It will bring you all much joy in your life. I promise you.

 

[MissGuided]

Fabulous post, LK - very sage words.

I dated a guy for a while who was overweight by about 100 lbs., and he was very self-conscious about it. I didn't care one bit, I loved him for the guy he was inside, as well as the external package. He was funny, caring, protective and scary smart - treated me way better than any of the muscle-jock idiots I'd dated before.

Unfortunately, he would never believe that "someone like me" could actually be in love with "someone like him" - his words. No matter what I did, in the end, he could never be convinced.

It's awfully sad to let someone go not because you don't love them, but because you will never believe that they love you.

 

[Ashariel]

That was lovely. I agree, a person's beauty is on the inside <3

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Amen!

I admit that I am a bit shallow, and like thin girls. That being stated, I would date an overweight woman, if we got along and really liked each other. And some BBWs are sexy as hell!

I once ballooned up from 185 to almost 300 pounds, because of certain antidepressants I was on. I switched to different antidepressants, cut out regular soda and switched to diet, and cut out all junk food and sweets. I weighed myself last night, and I was 198...my beer belly is disappearing, and I'm getting skinny again.

I am not saying that it's easy. It really is not. Food addiction is a real thing, and when tied to depression, it's hard to quit. And some people's metabolisms are so out of whack that even one sugary soda every once in a while will add 5 pounds. However, you shouldn't let that affect how you feel about yourself, because somewhere, someone will love you for who you are.

 

[Callie]

Very few things piss me off more than when those who aren't of a larger stature make remarks such as: "You wanna lose weight? Try putting the Goddamn fork down for 2 seconds!". "Get your fat ass out of the fridge and go to the gym". These remarks coming from someone who hasn't, and probably never will be overweight, makes me want to smash them right in the face!

I'm not saying you aren't right in what you said, but this paragraph kinda rubs me a little wrong.
First, while it may not be polite to say "get your fatass out of the fridge and go to the gym," it's true. You have to DO something if you want to lose weight. You have to stop eating so much (especially unhealthy food) and you have to work out.
Now the second part of this statement....how do you know a person who says that has never been overweight? People look at me and think I've never had issues with weight in my life, but they are wrong, I used to be fat, I used to HATE myself because I was fat. Don't assume you know someone's history based on what they look like now.

 

[Hoffy]

And some BBWs are sexy as hell!

Yes they are!!!

 

[LoneKiller]

Very few things piss me off more than when those who aren't of a larger stature make remarks such as: "You wanna lose weight? Try putting the Goddamn fork down for 2 seconds!". "Get your fat ass out of the fridge and go to the gym". These remarks coming from someone who hasn't, and probably never will be overweight, makes me want to smash them right in the face!

I'm not saying you aren't right in what you said, but this paragraph kinda rubs me a little wrong.
First, while it may not be polite to say "get your fatass out of the fridge and go to the gym," it's true. You have to DO something if you want to lose weight. You have to stop eating so much (especially unhealthy food) and you have to work out.
Now the second part of this statement....how do you know a person who says that has never been overweight? People look at me and think I've never had issues with weight in my life, but they are wrong, I used to be fat, I used to HATE myself because I was fat. Don't assume you know someone's history based on what they look like now.

Well Callie, you are certainly entitled. I composed this thread out of compassion for those suffering and to let them know that there are people out there that care. The remarks are still hateful and destructive no matter who says them.

I posted this thread to help those concerned find some solace in knowing that not everyone is obsessed with looks and do genuinely care. If I wanted to hear your arguments on the subject, I would have posted this in the "Up For Debate" section.

When I post threads like this to help other members feel better, it pisses me off when you pick them apart. Whether or not you agree with what I say, has no place in threads of this nature. I'm getting a little sick and tired of you being my Lex Luther.

Your points although valid, have no place here. Your opinions do nothing to help this thread. You have just tarnished the positive nature of this thread with your arguments. Mission accomplished.

I really want to hate you Callie. I really do. But I can't. Regardless of how much disdain you have for me, I care about you and your happiness in life, and wish you all the very best life has to offer you.

 

[Callie]

Very few things piss me off more than when those who aren't of a larger stature make remarks such as: "You wanna lose weight? Try putting the Goddamn fork down for 2 seconds!". "Get your fat ass out of the fridge and go to the gym". These remarks coming from someone who hasn't, and probably never will be overweight, makes me want to smash them right in the face!

I'm not saying you aren't right in what you said, but this paragraph kinda rubs me a little wrong.
First, while it may not be polite to say "get your fatass out of the fridge and go to the gym," it's true. You have to DO something if you want to lose weight. You have to stop eating so much (especially unhealthy food) and you have to work out.
Now the second part of this statement....how do you know a person who says that has never been overweight? People look at me and think I've never had issues with weight in my life, but they are wrong, I used to be fat, I used to HATE myself because I was fat. Don't assume you know someone's history based on what they look like now.

Well Callie, you are certainly entitled. I composed this thread out of compassion for those suffering and to let them know that there are people out there that care. The remarks are still hateful and destructive no matter who says them.

I posted this thread to help those concerned find some solace in knowing that not everyone is obsessed with looks and do genuinely care. If I wanted to hear your arguments on the subject, I would have posted this in the "Up For Debate" section.

When I post threads like this to help other members feel better, it pisses me off when you pick them apart. Whether or not you agree with what I say, has no place in threads of this nature. I'm getting a little sick and tired of you being my Lex Luther.

Your points although valid, have no place here. Your opinions do nothing to help this thread. You have just tarnished the positive nature of this thread with your arguments. Mission accomplished.

I really want to hate you Callie. I really do. But I can't. Regardless of how much disdain you have for me, I care about you and your happiness in life, and wish you all the very best life has to offer you.

Excuse you, but as someone that HAS been overweight, I think I'm am EXTREMELY entitled to give my ******* opinion, regardless of what section you post it in. As you stated in your original post, you have NOT been overweight, you do not know, I ******* DO. I stated clearly at the beginning of my post that you were right in what you posted, but that one paragraph is not right. You don't know if someone has ever been overweight just because they are thin now. You don't know what people who are thin have went through or are still going through to be thin. I worked my ******* ass off to be thin and I didn't ******* do it the right way. I STILL ******* struggle with what I did to myself to be thin, so don't you ******* DARE come at me like that. You don't ******* know me, you don't know what I've been through, so don't ******* tell me I don't have a ******* right to say what I said. Do you have any idea how many people that didn't know me before I lost the weight have said they can't even slightly picture me heavier than I am? EVERY ******* BODY I MEET SAYS THAT. You don't know a person's history by their appearance, so it's WRONG for you to assume that you do.
I never said it was right to say those comments, I just said that they are TRUE. If you don't want me picking honeysuckle apart, don't say honeysuckle you know nothing about. Also, this ain't a ******* comic book, I post what I want, where I want, regardless. If you don't like what I post, put me on ignore and disregard what I post. What I posted in this thread IS relevant.
Oh, and don't assume you know my intentions when I post something, because I can assure you, you do not.

 

[LoneKiller]

Very few things piss me off more than when those who aren't of a larger stature make remarks such as: "You wanna lose weight? Try putting the Goddamn fork down for 2 seconds!". "Get your fat ass out of the fridge and go to the gym". These remarks coming from someone who hasn't, and probably never will be overweight, makes me want to smash them right in the face!

I'm not saying you aren't right in what you said, but this paragraph kinda rubs me a little wrong.
First, while it may not be polite to say "get your fatass out of the fridge and go to the gym," it's true. You have to DO something if you want to lose weight. You have to stop eating so much (especially unhealthy food) and you have to work out.
Now the second part of this statement....how do you know a person who says that has never been overweight? People look at me and think I've never had issues with weight in my life, but they are wrong, I used to be fat, I used to HATE myself because I was fat. Don't assume you know someone's history based on what they look like now.

Well Callie, you are certainly entitled. I composed this thread out of compassion for those suffering and to let them know that there are people out there that care. The remarks are still hateful and destructive no matter who says them.

I posted this thread to help those concerned find some solace in knowing that not everyone is obsessed with looks and do genuinely care. If I wanted to hear your arguments on the subject, I would have posted this in the "Up For Debate" section.

When I post threads like this to help other members feel better, it pisses me off when you pick them apart. Whether or not you agree with what I say, has no place in threads of this nature. I'm getting a little sick and tired of you being my Lex Luther.

Your points although valid, have no place here. Your opinions do nothing to help this thread. You have just tarnished the positive nature of this thread with your arguments. Mission accomplished.

I really want to hate you Callie. I really do. But I can't. Regardless of how much disdain you have for me, I care about you and your happiness in life, and wish you all the very best life has to offer you.

Excuse you, but as someone that HAS been overweight, I think I'm am EXTREMELY entitled to give my ******* opinion, regardless of what section you post it in. As you stated in your original post, you have NOT been overweight, you do not know, I ******* DO. I stated clearly at the beginning of my post that you were right in what you posted, but that one paragraph is not right. You don't know if someone has ever been overweight just because they are thin now. You don't know what people who are thin have went through or are still going through to be thin. I worked my ******* ass off to be thin and I didn't ******* do it the right way. I STILL ******* struggle with what I did to myself to be thin, so don't you ******* DARE come at me like that. You don't ******* know me, you don't know what I've been through, so don't ******* tell me I don't have a ******* right to say what I said. Do you have any idea how many people that didn't know me before I lost the weight have said they can't even slightly picture me heavier than I am? EVERY ******* BODY I MEET SAYS THAT. You don't know a person's history by their appearance, so it's WRONG for you to assume that you do.
I never said it was right to say those comments, I just said that they are TRUE. If you don't want me picking honeysuckle apart, don't say honeysuckle you know nothing about. Also, this ain't a ******* comic book, I post what I want, where I want, regardless. If you don't like what I post, put me on ignore and disregard what I post. What I posted in this thread IS relevant.
Oh, and don't assume you know my intentions when I post something, because I can assure you, you do not.

Grow up.

 

[Callie]

Grow up.

And btw, it isn't just overweight people who suffer with weight issues. I struggle every **** day of my life because of my weight issues and I'm technically UNDERweight.

 

[LoneKiller]

Grow up.

And btw, it isn't just overweight people who suffer with weight issues. I struggle every **** day of my life because of my weight issues and I'm technically UNDERweight.

Are you done?

 

[Ak5]

Good writing, Jason.

Settle down you two. :club: And if you don't...Popcorn for everyone!!

 

[LoneKiller]

No Popcorn. The show is over.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Very few things piss me off more than when those who aren't of a larger stature make remarks such as: "You wanna lose weight? Try putting the Goddamn fork down for 2 seconds!". "Get your fat ass out of the fridge and go to the gym". These remarks coming from someone who hasn't, and probably never will be overweight, makes me want to smash them right in the face!

I'm not saying you aren't right in what you said, but this paragraph kinda rubs me a little wrong.
First, while it may not be polite to say "get your fatass out of the fridge and go to the gym," it's true. You have to DO something if you want to lose weight. You have to stop eating so much (especially unhealthy food) and you have to work out.
Now the second part of this statement....how do you know a person who says that has never been overweight? People look at me and think I've never had issues with weight in my life, but they are wrong, I used to be fat, I used to HATE myself because I was fat. Don't assume you know someone's history based on what they look like now.

Well Callie, you are certainly entitled. I composed this thread out of compassion for those suffering and to let them know that there are people out there that care. The remarks are still hateful and destructive no matter who says them.

I posted this thread to help those concerned find some solace in knowing that not everyone is obsessed with looks and do genuinely care. If I wanted to hear your arguments on the subject, I would have posted this in the "Up For Debate" section.

When I post threads like this to help other members feel better, it pisses me off when you pick them apart. Whether or not you agree with what I say, has no place in threads of this nature. I'm getting a little sick and tired of you being my Lex Luther.

Your points although valid, have no place here. Your opinions do nothing to help this thread. You have just tarnished the positive nature of this thread with your arguments. Mission accomplished.

I really want to hate you Callie. I really do. But I can't. Regardless of how much disdain you have for me, I care about you and your happiness in life, and wish you all the very best life has to offer you.

Excuse you, but as someone that HAS been overweight, I think I'm am EXTREMELY entitled to give my ******* opinion, regardless of what section you post it in. As you stated in your original post, you have NOT been overweight, you do not know, I ******* DO. I stated clearly at the beginning of my post that you were right in what you posted, but that one paragraph is not right. You don't know if someone has ever been overweight just because they are thin now. You don't know what people who are thin have went through or are still going through to be thin. I worked my ******* ass off to be thin and I didn't ******* do it the right way. I STILL ******* struggle with what I did to myself to be thin, so don't you ******* DARE come at me like that. You don't ******* know me, you don't know what I've been through, so don't ******* tell me I don't have a ******* right to say what I said. Do you have any idea how many people that didn't know me before I lost the weight have said they can't even slightly picture me heavier than I am? EVERY ******* BODY I MEET SAYS THAT. You don't know a person's history by their appearance, so it's WRONG for you to assume that you do.
I never said it was right to say those comments, I just said that they are TRUE. If you don't want me picking honeysuckle apart, don't say honeysuckle you know nothing about. Also, this ain't a ******* comic book, I post what I want, where I want, regardless. If you don't like what I post, put me on ignore and disregard what I post. What I posted in this thread IS relevant.
Oh, and don't assume you know my intentions when I post something, because I can assure you, you do not.

Holy curse filter Batman, Callie is pissed!

Whop him, Callie! :club:

 

[SophiaGrace]

-_-

 

[LoneKiller]

Well. It looks like LK is eating crow for breakfast this morning. In retrospect, I overreacted to Callie's reply in this thread. For this Callie, I am truly sorry.

 

[Minus]

This thread would go better without the fighting.

 

[Bones]

This thread would go better without the fighting.

 

[passage]

IMO, there is a fundamental difference between being overweight, and looks. Some people are simply born with good looks, good facial features...etc. You can't really change that if you don't have the genetics (unless you do plastic surgery). But overweight issues are something that (99% of) people can control. Its like smokers (I'm a smoker). I'm not going to feel all that bad for you if you get lung cancer. You know its bad for you. If you eat vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean meat, and some milk products, and don't eat garbage sugary food, there is practically no way of becoming overweight unless you eat 5-6 full sized meals of this a day. But if you drink soda, smoke, eat fast food, don't eat regularly, add 3 spoons of sugar to your coffee...etc then I'm not sorry, I don't feel much sympathy for you.

Again for me its the exact same as smoking, you know its unhealthy, but come up with all sorts of excuses. Just like people do with eating garbage, "I don't have the time to cook, its faster, I'm lazy, its cheaper...etc".

 

[DiscoSpider]

I do agree and disagree with a few things about this thread.

I used to be very overweight myself for most of my teen years and early adulthood. When I was 13 years old up until I was 21, I was overweight and then obese. At age 21 at the beginning of 2009, I weighed 282 Ibs (128 kg). In 9 months from there, I lost 32 kg (70 Ibs) and have maintained my new weight and health for the past three years while improving my fitness and physique from there.

I know exactly what it's like to be overweight and unhealthy. People look at you differently, they treat you with less respect than they would to fitter and healthier people, you get bullied (verbally and even physically), girls aren't attracted to you, you can't do much physical stuff without getting tired easily, you sweat a lot, you can smell etc. I know -exactly- what it was like - and it sucks.

As someone who is now fit and healthy, losing weight has been a very eye opening experience. People started to be nicer to me, girls were nicer to me and started to approach me, I could do so much more physically and I just felt so much better, happier and confident. Like I said, losing weight is truly, a very eye opening experience.

I agree with Callie, though. If you're overweight, something really needs to be done. It isn't easy, but seriously, you need to do something about it. Being overweight or obese can lead to many serious health problems in the future.

Like Callie also said, it's not just overweight people who have issues with weight, it's also underweight people. People who are too thin. I have many friends who are very thin and they all struggle with trying to gain weight and to get bigger, they have difficulties doing so and it really affects them psychologically because of it (it upsets them, depresses them etc). For me... anything I eat, if I do not exercise, my weight will rise.

When it comes to losing weight and getting healthy, the first step is always the hardest. Once that first step is taken, then the path becomes easier. Losing weight in a natural, healthy manner does not happen over night. It takes time, patience and dedication. It is not an impossible task, it is really quite possible. It's not easy, but at the same time it honestly is not as hard as people think. Once you gain momentum and the ball starts rolling, it's just a matter of moving, to keep that ball rolling. Once you see and feel results, you won't want to stop.

I've said this on another thread before this but I'll say it again - I'm no professional but I know exactly what it's like to be overweight and unhealthy. I've been through the journey of changing my life and health, by myself - no personal trainers, no resources, nothing, just me trying through trial and error. If anyone at all is having any difficulties with their weight and would like to try and lose weight, please don't hesitate to send me a private message. I may be able to help and I would love to offer any advice.