Hi,
Thanks for reading (so far) and I hope to discover new friends on the forum. Here are a few words about me for those wanting to read futher than this sentence.
Brief story
I've always felt 'at odds' with the World from as far back as I can remember, and have found it sometimes difficult to fit in with those around me. Shyness lead to anxiety, in a lot of situations, and escapism was my default policy. Still I have always managed to lead a fairly normal life.
Things hit rock bottom for me in 2013 when I was coming out of a very damaging relationship, and I'd also lost my Dad around the same time. I was left to deal with probate, his house, consoling my elder brothers, dealing with the breakup of my own family (previous to the damaging relationship) and also the threat of losing my home from financial pressure.
Hours after a failed attempt on my life, I heard that line in my head from the film 'Shawshank Redemption' in which the lead character says "...it comes down to a simple choice, get busy living or get busy dying". After that realisation everything changed. Things got easier. Situations became easier to cope with. I started to feel the Sun on my face again and felt like maybe everything will be OK.
I'm now stronger than i've ever been and have resumed my love of the study of consiousness. My fear of death is completely gone and I feel like i'm smiling all the time, though this is in my head mostly. My fear of being on my own has been replaced by acceptance and that living on your own is actually pretty good too. I'm completely domesticated and can cook lovely foods and have a great new job.
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I totally understand the fear of being on one's own and if only someone had have been there for me in 2013 things would have been much easier. BUT, saying that, I wouldn't have come through it with such strength and acceptance. Being able to talk about things in life with people can make a world of difference, so I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
Thanks for reading
Thanks for reading (so far) and I hope to discover new friends on the forum. Here are a few words about me for those wanting to read futher than this sentence.
Brief story
I've always felt 'at odds' with the World from as far back as I can remember, and have found it sometimes difficult to fit in with those around me. Shyness lead to anxiety, in a lot of situations, and escapism was my default policy. Still I have always managed to lead a fairly normal life.
Things hit rock bottom for me in 2013 when I was coming out of a very damaging relationship, and I'd also lost my Dad around the same time. I was left to deal with probate, his house, consoling my elder brothers, dealing with the breakup of my own family (previous to the damaging relationship) and also the threat of losing my home from financial pressure.
Hours after a failed attempt on my life, I heard that line in my head from the film 'Shawshank Redemption' in which the lead character says "...it comes down to a simple choice, get busy living or get busy dying". After that realisation everything changed. Things got easier. Situations became easier to cope with. I started to feel the Sun on my face again and felt like maybe everything will be OK.
I'm now stronger than i've ever been and have resumed my love of the study of consiousness. My fear of death is completely gone and I feel like i'm smiling all the time, though this is in my head mostly. My fear of being on my own has been replaced by acceptance and that living on your own is actually pretty good too. I'm completely domesticated and can cook lovely foods and have a great new job.
---------------------------
I totally understand the fear of being on one's own and if only someone had have been there for me in 2013 things would have been much easier. BUT, saying that, I wouldn't have come through it with such strength and acceptance. Being able to talk about things in life with people can make a world of difference, so I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
Thanks for reading