never had a girlfriend

[downgrade]

I am the same way, Broken. I can't stand conflict, so I usually either end up telling my father to go die, or just breaking down in tears.

Mike:

I think they changed because they realized that your presence in the house disappeared; that you were older and on your own; maybe they felt guilty for doing what they did and try to make up for it.

 

[Dalo11]

I just have a question. Is it really necessary to "love" (whatever that is) and be loved in this world? I've made an effort to supress my emotions as best as I can due to the fact that I was ignored and generally excluded from most social groups throughout my school years (still don't really have any friends in University). I've never asked a girl out, and consequently none have ever shown interest in me. This is understandable, I don't really deserve a girlfriend seeing as how I'm way too shy. But I'm wondering if it's possible to supress your emotions to the point that you become an empty shell.....that would help me a great deal seeing as how the only emotion I still feel is anger towards myself for my social situation. If I could eliminate the problem of my emotions, I would no longer feel lonely!

 

[Invisi_ble]

The one guy that is actually my "friend" and the one guy I know who actually has morals likes someone else anyways. Even if he didn't, I could never date him. I'm not his type since my marks are not high enough.

If you like him kiss him thats all you have to do...

 

[lonelygirl]

Brokendreams, grades are NOT the caliber of a person's intelligence whatsoever. Einstein flunked math at least twice, okay?!!!

You are smarter than you think. You can meet someone. However you must first start with working on yourself to improve your self-esteem. Once you have gotten out of the dark cave of sadness it is easier to attract a mate. Hugs!

 

[BrokenDreams]

Brokendreams, grades are NOT the caliber of a person's intelligence whatsoever. Einstein flunked math at least twice, okay?!!!

You are smarter than you think. You can meet someone. However you must first start with working on yourself to improve your self-esteem. Once you have gotten out of the dark cave of sadness it is easier to attract a mate. Hugs!

Well, I have no clue how to improve my self esteem, I would if I could but I can't. Any tips? I like someone anyways, but I doubt I have any chance with him...

 

[lonelygirl]

Broken, are you a guy or a girl...slightly confused, sorry.

One way to boost your self-esteem is to help others. I know it sounds corny. However, if you would be willing to read to the blind, volunteer to work with children, help at a homeless shelter or battered women's shelter, this is proven to help your self-esteem. You will be making the world a better place while improving your self-esteem. It's a win-win situation!

 

[BrokenDreams]

I'm a girl...

I guess that could help. I need to start volunteering somewhere for community service at school. I just don't know where to though, I can't find anywhere near me...

 

[downgrade]

The school's counselors usually have the volunteer information with them. If not, they could probably find it. Ask them.

 

[BrokenDreams]

Ok, I guess I will. My friend is also trying to find volunteer work, so I'm trying to find something to do with her. Thanks for your help everyone!
I sure hope I can improve my self esteem enough to get a boyfriend...

The school's counselors usually have the volunteer information with them. If not, they could probably find it. Ask them.

 

[tashar_boo]

I do believe that its whats inside a human's soul that matters, as opposed to the body, and that i would make a decent partner, but ill admit that im not the most good looking of boys a girl could ever wish for, but im not open enough for other people to see the type of person i am.

What should i do?
[/quote]

hey bear,
life is hard but i believe that there is someone out there for everybody...
try boosting your self esteem& confidence, having faith in yourself and finding someone that'll be true to you as you are to them............ maybe that mite help
LOL good luck finding a person 4 U and try to memba that everybody is beautiful in there own ways even if materialisation and looks are important in this crazy and judgeful world

 

[ricardo361]

I think that schools are not the only ones who need to wake-up and do something about the ever-growing line between socially-competent young people and those who are socially lacking. Parents should be tested for emotional competence by governments to avoid their children falling behind and being subject to abuse. If a parent cannot demonstrate to their children how to act confidently and effectively in the social world, then the children are doomed.

 

[NewBirth]

I think that schools are not the only ones who need to wake-up and do something about the ever-growing line between socially-competent young people and those who are socially lacking. Parents should be tested for emotional competence by governments to avoid their children falling behind and being subject to abuse. If a parent cannot demonstrate to their children how to act confidently and effectively in the social world, then the children are doomed.

parents being tested for emotional competence by the gov. now this is really interesting LoL. lets just pretend 4 a min that we could actually get a good standard of testing & also a fair tester. which in real life both would b close 2 impossible...
then that would probably make our society realize that more than half of our parents are emotionally incapable of raising children
so then what do we do?.... remove the kids? put them where? will all foster parents b tested 2? then what? most foster parents wont "pass" either. uh... send them 2 classes? who teaches the classes? more ppl who r emotionally unadjusted?
what is it w/ppl always looking 2 the gov 2 fix problems??? thats emotionally INcompetent in the 1st place
a person whose emotionally competent realizes that only t-h-e-y can make a difference in how their own children r raised


maybe when some of us start growing a brain & stop looking 2 gov 2 raise our children & fix all our problems... we'll have emotional competency. until then its going 2 b a wild ride


chit LoL im not even going 2 get in2 how overloaded the system already is... emotional competency tests when we cant even get ppl 2 stop beating & raping their own kids???..... there isnt even enough manpower 4 that ... & were supposed 2 fit in emotional competency??
god LoL

 

[ricardo361]

Ok then, what is your solution on this?? I never said things would be easy, I simply stated the origin of 95% of issues behind people on this web forum

 

[NewBirth]

actually theres really no point in me having a solution. since i dont have the power 2 change anything
u think parents r the origin of 95% of the issues behind ppl on this web forum?
i think its society as a whole
solution=fix society
how 2 do that=live the best that u as an individual can
we cant control the world. all we can do is control ourselves
& hell... thats hard enough as it is


2ond point- if u think 95% of the issues behind ppl on this forum is their parents then that probably includes u & ur own parents 2...
ok thats fine.now next...
lets take u 4 xample... u dont think ur parents were emotionally competent. so of course u must realize that means u wont b an emotionally competent parent
if u do realize that then ull take the necessary steps 2 fix that. if not then ull b in denial & b another emotionally incompetent parent
we really cant attack each other w/o attacking ourselves
u cant go out and rebuild the world w/o 1st rebuilding urself

 

[ricardo361]

Yeah I agree with you and yes it does include me and my parents. We need to be able to look at ourselves in a critical and sympathetic manner as well as being critical of others. Because I take notice of my parents' strengths and weaknesses, I will be able to take that on board and remember things for when I am a parent. It is easy to slip into your parents' ways but it is not always the story. By being aware of this stuff we are already a country mile ahead of people like my parents who simply wouldn't dream of emotional health being a vital priority in their children's lives.

 

[NewBirth]

true. ur right in mostly everything u said. xcept i dont c a really strong awareness on ur part 2 look @ everything u do & question it. as long as its not ur parents weakness u might overlook it. thinking its okay
its a mistake we all make... which is y the cycle just keeps on going

 

[mimizu]

The strong will always dominate the weak, that's how humans are. If you are weak, then try to become strong. If you can't, then you will continue to suffer...

But personally, the entire thing disgusts me. I don't want my own place in the hierarchy. I don't want to trample on anyone else for my place under the sun. I just want to meet someone nice who is outside of it...

 

[lonelyloser]

I think that schools are not the only ones who need to wake-up and do something about the ever-growing line between socially-competent young people and those who are socially lacking. Parents should be tested for emotional competence by governments to avoid their children falling behind and being subject to abuse. If a parent cannot demonstrate to their children how to act confidently and effectively in the social world, then the children are doomed.

Thank you thank you thank you. I think there should be accountability for such behavior. If criminals don't get away with this kind of stuff, how come parents do? In some ways this is much worse because if a criminal say, steals my wallet, I can get over it easily but it's near impossible to get over emotional abuse. Of course parents are the problem. If society were the problem, then everyone would be suffering like we do. But they are not obviously. The people who are suffering the most are the kids of parents who did not do their job.

 

[NewBirth]

different ppl suffer in different ways. society forms parents. society is us as a whole... altogether. not the world "out there"

 

[Zorg]

Join the club. I can't even remember the last time I had a colloquial conversation with a female outside of my family. /sigh

It's very difficult when I dad asks about this subject.