New here..

[dea]

hi.. i dont usually do this, posting/forum stuff, so bear with me here.. anyways, i just wanted to .. well i dont know what the hell i wanted, but i NEED some people so badly. im obviously new on this forum, but i expect ill be around for awhile.. i dont want to commit suicide, and i have a wonderful family, a family I'd kill to be with right now.. I have friends at home.. I have a gorgeous daughter, and a wonderful husband who i wish I didnt have.

im so lonely. I dont even know what the point of writing this post is, I really dont.. I dont know what I expect from you people. I dont know why you all should care when you all have your own problems too. I just wish that I could stop feeling. I wish I could just float through each day without caring or thinking or feeling. I wish i could go through the next however long on autopilot until things are better. I wish i could just give up trying, but I cant. and i most of all, wish that i could stop hoping. I'm just so lost and I have been for so long. is it me? do i want too much? do i expect too much from the world? i just dont f*king know its driving me crazy.

 

[Elaeagnus]

You're right- everyone has their own problems, but that has nothing to do with allowing us to care about other people. In fact, having our own problems makes it easier to relate to other people when they are going through tough times. Most of the people here are very compassionate, and I'm sure you'll meet many people who can relate to you and will care about you.

Please don't stop trying, and please don't stop hoping. What's the point of a life without hope?

Welcom to the forum.

 

[dea]

thx for your response, and welcome and sorry im being all mush.. you know how it goes i guess. up one second, down the next..lol such is life i guess!

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Dea,

Welcome. You seem to be seperated from your family right now. Is this just temporary? What's on your mind? Share!

 

[dea]

hey lonelygirl, thx for the welcome..yes I am separated from them at the moment.. Ive just moved here to the states with my husband our daughter from Australia and yeah.. I miss them alot. as for it being temporary.. well, I hope so. Although I dont fit in anywhere, at least my family is my family and they take me no matter how weird I am!
My husband is american and he wanted to come back here because he hates australia.. and although I didnt really want to, he gave up alot to be with me in australia and I thought it only fair that I should try this out for him.. he promised me that if it didnt work out, we could go home.. of course, since we got here, he has totally changed and I dont recognize the person he is anymore. its astonishing how a person can change so dramatically just from setting foot in a different country and yet here we are.. so I dont know anyone, my husband hasnt got a job yet so we are staying with his parents (who i might add, absolutely loathe me) and Im just at a loss as to what to do to better my situation. its so hard for me to make friends, the friends i have at home, are all ones that ive had since like primary school or early high school.. i like, need that history with people, because new people just dont seem to get me.
I know it sounds like im being a homesick child, but this is just the main thing that is affecting me right now.. so yeah i guess that about sums up my current situation.. oh and I dont know if it matters, but im 24, husband is 32, daughter is 3 and a half.. we have been together just over 4 years and married for 3 months.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Dea,

WOW. I love Australia! How could your husband not like it? Where were you guys in Oz? Where in the states are you located? And WHY would his parents hate you? I'm so sorry, it sounds like you are living in a very hellish situation.

First and foremost, your daughter is your priority. So her mental and physical health is paramount.

Are you just going through rough times in your marriage or do you think this is ending?

You need to be physically and mentally strong so that you can be there for your daughter and get through this time. How is your physical and mental health? Are you able to work? Legal to work?

As for making friends in America, I think that being Australian will be a big plus. Use that accent! We love accents from UK and Oz and people will constantly be asking you where you are from. Many people in the US fantasize about Australia as some golden land in the sun, a friendly warm place. So I would think that this will make you instantly popular in the States.

Hugs,

LG

 

[dea]

lol I wish I knew why he doesnt like it! I dont think its really that he hates australia so much, even though he says that.. I think its more that he just loves america so much.. we were in Adelaide, Australia, lol, i'm sure you have never heard of it, its the capital of South Australia and the first place in australia that wasnt settled by convicts. We have a strong european culture in Adelaide, lots of cafes and "going for coffee" and I didnt realise this, but apparently its very metropolitan. Also very multicultural. Adelaide likes to pretend its classy rather than old fashioned, but we are a bit behind the rest of Australia in terms of the huge cities like sydney and melbourne where everything is go go go.. now, I am in a VERY VERY small town called Centralia, in Missouri. its a pretty big change, yeah. his parents .. actually I shouldnt say that, his dad is ok with me.. more understanding.. but his mother literally hates me, to the point that if we go out for a day, she takes pictures of everyone and that sort of thing and deliberately doesnt take any of me.. I think its because she is hoping ill leave and then they wont need any memory of me ever having been there.. and i know that sounds extreme, but trust me, its not. she doesnt like me, because Im different. she doesnt like me, because she never had a daughter and wants my daughter to be hers.. she doesnt like me, because she wanst to baby her sons and im a reminder that its not her job to look after one of her sons anymore... and she doesnt like me because I dont act like a country bumkin. lol. she actually goes against things i say about how im raising my child and its driving me insane. .. my daughter is doing wonderfully, both physically and mentally, but her personality has changed and im getting concerned that if we dont move out soon, i wont be able to undo the damage. its one thing to see grandma on the weekend and have her do something that mummy doesnt let you or whatever, its another thing entirely to see grandma directly opposing mummy and getting her way. as a result of things like this, she is becoming .. well.. spoiled. bratty. she lies and she has never lied before. things like that. and she is also really lonely h ere.. at home i have a huge family (we're italian) with lots of cousins her age that we see every week and things like that and here we have no one. no friends with kids, no family, no cousins.. no nothing. im not allowed to work or study here, hubby is not working yet so we dont have any money coming in at the moment, so I feel as though we are in limbo. cant join a pre schoool or gym, cant drive (i cant drive here because its so **** confusing) cant have anyone over, cant go anywhere at night or anything (mother in law frowns on leaving the hosue for anything but groceries) .. each day i just count down the hours until this one is over.. everytime i meet someone i chat away, even though its extremely hard, and maybe they can tell, because no one ever gives me a call.. i got up the guts to call three or four of the people i met, or text them and i got brushed off.. so i dont know.. as for the marriage.. well, who knows. i said id give this a year. if he decides not to come back to australia with me then so be it. but im obviously not actually wanting to leave him yet, otherwise i wouldnt give him this year to see how things go... plus, i owe it to my daughter to try. you dont rip a child away from her father and take her to the other side of the world without trying as hard as you possibly can to make things work first.

 

[Zina]

wow!, whats the update? have things improved? have u found a job, moved out?

 

[Guest]

losers

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Dea,

WOW. What a rough, rough situation. I feel for you. My mother in law also doesn't like me. And she also does stuff with my child that I don't approve of. Example, she allowed him to watch scary cartoons for older kids (he is under 5) such as Scooby Do and he got nightmares. She feeds him a lot of junk food including soda, so when he comes home from there he is up all night.

Mother in laws suck! lol Have you seen the plant we have called Mother in Law's tongue? It's a long, green, ugly leaf. lol

Dea, you may have to go back. I hope that things will change. Once your husband has a job and you can move out, you will have more freedom. Your accent will charm many people. I cannot imagine people blowing you off--are you sure you weren't taking it the wrong way? You're very pretty and Australian--two pluses in my book!

Hugs,

LG.