Not being able to dance...it's a deal breaker isn't it...

[grainofrice24]

Honestly...is it?

When I was a kid...they told me musicians get women, and I became passionate about music and really got into it. I spent the last 15 years practicing and it became a very important part of my life. Then as I grew older and music evolved into whatever it is now, the guitar became less and less important. Looking back on it...playing the guitar has never really given me anything in life worth writing home about. Today, it just seems like another stupid thing I wasted my life and youth on.

Now tonight I went out for dinner with someone and I'm pretty sure that she really wanted to hit the dance floor...but I can't/don't dance. She's cool as hell so she didn't wanna make a big deal about it, but I felt like such a turd not being able to dance with her. I need to learn...its just so foreign to me...but I've always said that if it's hard...then it's probably worth doing.

Any advice to anyone who is learning to dance from scratch? And please don't say "just move to the beat" or something generic and useless like that. When people ask me to teach them to play the guitar I don't say "Just put your fingers on the neck and pluck the strings...it's sooooo eeeeeeeeeeeasy"...because it's not. Nobody expects people to be able to get on stage and geetar, but I need to be able to dance.

Sorry about the rant, I'm a little pissed @ myself and buzzing so forgive me.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im not that great of a dancer...

As Long as I get out on the dance floor
and partiscipate with her...its all good.
She dances around me or teaches me
little moves. Shes really a good dancer.

All I have to is spin her or dip her every so often.

Sometimes we'll do the Texas two steps

Basically my woman dont give a fresia what people thinks about her or us.

As long as we have fun...

Beside, when ur in a packed night Club..theres not really that much room
to really dance..dance

Im a great guitar player...
She loves it when I play.

15 yrs..Ill bet yr good too.

 

[evanescencefan91]

please, it may be impressive, but no one is going to say, ya he's hot smart and funny, but he can't dance, so pass

it's not a deal breaker,

everyone can dance, but not everyone can dance well, and actually most people don't dance well, becuase very few people actually go to dance parties to judge other people's dancing abilities

if you really want to like dance, dance, try taking some lessons or something

but don't let your lack of the skill prevent you from having a good time

if someone asks you to dance
there's a good chance
that they can't dance
either

 

[blackhole]

i don't dance.

but i'd be willing to learn.

i wanna do the melbourne shuffle, lol.

 

[Equinox]

It all depends on the girl, but I seriously doubt that not being able to dance is a dealbraker for most of us. I would definitely want my guy to be able to dance with me, but if he couldn't/wouldn't I would suck it up and just do my dancing with someone else instead (friends, not random strangers).

It's very difficult to teach someone to dance without being able to show them and instruct them. "Move to the beat" is pretty much as good as it gets if you want advice from an internet forum. However, you could try searching some videos on youtube (I'm sure there are some dance instructions there), or even consider taking a dance class (which, addiotionally, is fun, social and usually so dominated by girls that any male participants are always very welcome).

 

[Mazda13bRotary]

Take some club dance lessons, practice practice practice. Then go to a club and start dancing with random attractive chicks, you will get laid for sure! That is unless a black guy strolls onto the dance floor, NO white man can out dance a black fellow, I'm sorry to say.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Its not a deal breaker. Classes are fairly inexpensive and fun to go to!

 

[SofiasMami]

Take a salsa class. It's lots of fun and a guy who can shake his hips is hot.

Teresa

 

[Cerberus]

You ask a generic question but dont expect generic answers? To dance, you move to the beat, there isnt really anything more to it than that. What sort of music you're dancing to will affect what sort of beat you have, and what sort of dancing is appropriate, for example to dont headbang to reggae and you dont grind to death metal.

Basically though, if you just stand facing your girl, hold her hands, and step side to side to the beat while looking in her eyes and smiling the whole time, that is all you'll ever need. As long as you look like you're having fun she'll not care how good you are, all that she will be thinking is how much fun you're having together and how much she enjoys it.

 

[grainofrice24]

Thanks all for the responses and advice. As stated before I was moderately intoxicated when writing the initial post and only a few hours removed from the event in question. So I apologize for that.

Dance lessons, and practice. Makes sense. I'll definitely have to give it a go.

But what I was trying to suggest, and ask advice for is: not being able to dance (at least for me) is entirely a mental issue. It's not that I don't have rhythm...I have to to be able to play instruments. It's just that whenever I have tried dancing...my head is going a mile a minute...I cannot relax and just go with the music. Even going to a dance class (while it is the logical thing to do and makes perfect sense) would be scary as hell for me. I guess that's why I should do it. And what could be worse than being an un-smooth guy in a classroom full of women?! Does anybody here know what I'm talking about and/or tried the dance class thing?

I guess I just have to sack it up and do it. I'm a big awkward fresia...what can I say :club:

 

[Mazda13bRotary]

Depends, if you're un-smooth at a dance class infront of a bunch of women and you're ashamed/embarrassed by it then you're going to be upset and it will be awkward for the chicks. Now if you play it off as a comedy act, laugh at yourself, be confident, you'll be golden.

 

[Equinox]

Somtimes the things that scare us the most, are the things that will make us happy.

 

[Limlim]

yeah I think at a dance class the women will expect that you don't know how to dance very well, else you wouldn't be there.

 

[Mazda13bRotary]

Once you hear the women doing the "schoolgirl giggle" take it as a compliment seriously

 

[IgnoredOne]

Well, if you are taking a beginner class, you are expected to be pretty clueless. Just enjoy the learning and be an eager student and you'll find that everyone will be glad for it; I mean, people don't expect you to do calculus without making many mistakes first, so why would dancing be any different?

 

[LostInside]

Most dancing to me looks like random movements and gyrations. If you mean traditional dancing like ball room type stuff then I have no idea either

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Interesting topic, because it's the one facet of my social life that I enjoy without fear actually

I have no experience of dancing, never gone to any classes for formal dancing, never really been clubbing or anything, but I have gone on a dancefloor a few times.

Ironically, every time I have, women have been very keen to dance or pose for photos near me. It's like being in a different world - maybe because I have a lot more confidence when it's just music and a floor.

You don't have to talk to anyone, you can forget being shy, just move to the music. Pretend you know what you're doing. Have fun!

If you're smiling, enjoying the music and just having a good time, people will enjoy dancing with and around you, even if you're not doing some kind of crazy street dance or spinning on your head. People that think they look awesome or pull off "crazy moves" in the local club usually get laughed at anyway.

My dance "moves" are just shuffling about, shrugging or bopping my shoulders, jumping around, flexing my arms as I move...all the usual stuff people do.

Girls even like it if you just joke around with them when you don't know the "proper" moves. It shows you're not deadly serious about the whole thing.

For "proper" dancing, I'm thinking of going to a salsa class soon. No idea what it'll be like, but I imagine I'll hate that by comparison, lol

So if you're with a girl and she wants to dance with you, just go ahead and do it. She's not thinking "I wonder if he can throw me over his head and then do an advanced tapdance", she's just hoping you want to enjoy yourself with her