Obsessive, Worrying and Negative Thoughts

[Blue Sky]

I didn't really know where to put this topic, it doesn't fit into the loneliness section. Anyway, all of my life I have suffered from thoughts that can become quite obsessive and make me very depressed. These thoughts can range from, wrong things I may have said to people, what other people think of me, confidence at completing work tasks, to projecting negative things that could happen to me in the future. Once I start thinking some of these negative things I can really dwell on them and this can go on for weeks. I would like to know if anyone else on the forum has ever had negative obsessive thoughts that they can't seem to stop. And if you have managed to stop them, how did you do it?

Blue Sky

 

[diamond-dancer]

I didn't really know where to put this topic, it doesn't fit into the loneliness section. Anyway, all of my life I have suffered from thoughts that can become quite obsessive and make me very depressed. These thoughts can range from, wrong things I may have said to people, what other people think of me, confidence at completing work tasks, to projecting negative things that could happen to me in the future. Once I start thinking some of these negative things I can really dwell on them and this can go on for weeks. I would like to know if anyone else on the forum has ever had negative obsessive thoughts that they can't seem to stop. And if you have managed to stop them, how did you do it?

Blue Sky

Oh dear...this is really hard. Basically, if I start obsessing over something I feel as though I am completely helpless to change it. To get over it it requires a massive effort on my part to stop myself from doing/thinking whatever I have become obsessed with. Usually I try to find something else to focus on and dedicate all my energy into. Being conscious of what I'm thinking/feeling and being able to tell myself 'stop' helps too. I also think of someone in my life who is strong and imagine what they would do in my situation. Also, if a particular place or activity acts as a starting points to negative thinking, I avoid that place/activity like nothing else.

 

[diamond-dancer]

It is possible but it takes a lot of concentrated effort....kind of like rewiring the way you think/beating your demons into submission.

 

[MisterD]

i dunno if this is the same but when i do something stupid i get really annoyed when i think about it im like want to scream or something, i dwell on it much that it really messes me up. i just try not to think about it much people will forget about it too in a long run. though im not sure if thats the same as what ur saying.

 

[Blue Sky]

Well with me, many different things that happen can make me start to worry and obsess, maybe my brain is just wired up that way and starts to go 100 mph when negative things happen to me lol.

 

[teach]

Hi Blue Sky,

I've missed talking with you! Do the thoughts get you to the point where you can't function or you find your daily life getting "distracted" by the thoughts? I'm not thinking so much in terms of depression, needing antidepresants, but if your brain is going too fast with this distraction, have you considered ADD?

Cute doggie avatar!

 

[Blue Sky]

Hi Blue Sky,

I've missed talking with you! Do the thoughts get you to the point where you can't function or you find your daily life getting "distracted" by the thoughts? I'm not thinking so much in terms of depression, needing antidepresants, but if your brain is going too fast with this distraction, have you considered ADD?

Cute doggie avatar!

Hi Teach
I wouldn't say it gets to the point where I can't function but it really can distract my thoughts and daily life, and in the past maybe I used alcohol to combat these thoughts and make myself comfortably numb.
I have never thought of ADD and don't know anything about it, I might have a chat to my counselor about it.

 

[teach]

Glad to hear that alcohol isn't your vice now. That takes a lot of guts. Your counselor should tell you there are three types of ADD: ADHD, the hyper, then there is ADD type I: spontaneous, and ADD type 2: distracted. I would swing more toward the type 2, if at all. The distracted has your brain basically working overtime, different thoughts different actions, etc, and you feel overwhelmed and hard to concentrate on what you need to. You're not hyper (ADHD), but you aren't paying attention, sometimes drifting, can't concentrate because your brain is focusing on other things.

 

[Blue Sky]

Glad to hear that alcohol isn't your vice now. That takes a lot of guts. Your counselor should tell you there are three types of ADD: ADHD, the hyper, then there is ADD type I: spontaneous, and ADD type 2: distracted. I would swing more toward the type 2, if at all. The distracted has your brain basically working overtime, different thoughts different actions, etc, and you feel overwhelmed and hard to concentrate on what you need to. You're not hyper (ADHD), but you aren't paying attention, sometimes drifting, can't concentrate because your brain is focusing on other things.

Oh yes, I can relate to the type 2, though it doesn't happen all the time, I can go for months and be ok. But when the worrying and the negativity sets in, I'm really affected. Yes I must fianally do something about this, it's gone on for to long in my life.

 

[Crew99]

I think it comes from how we feel about ourselves and our need to please other people in order to feel loved. If we were secure we wouldn't obsses about these things, but being conscious about how we really feel inside makes us feel paranoid about how others see us. So when we talk to someone, we start to worry if they could see through us..It's like were always trying hard to hide something that makes it obvious to other people something's not right with us and we can feel the same vibe from them about how they might perceive us. It's like our mind plays tricks on us about what others think and we want so much to figure it out that we become obbsessed with it. We analyze over every little detail just to have some peace of mind that someone likes us or doesn't think we're weird. I think it's how we judge ourselves and it scares us and we obbsess too much cause we want everything to be perfect and when it's not we beat ourselves up and obbsess over things even more. There's gotta a threshold effect though that'll just get rid of the obbssesiveness... once your numb and have been through so much it's like nothing can touch you anymore..Hope one day i'll feel that way.

 

[Chris 2]

In your case, maybe ADHD instead of ADD. I know that I have ADD and it suck.

 

[Larsen B]

I agree with Crew. It boils down to being insecure with oneself, not feeling comfortable, and, although it's a hard truth, an over emphasis on thoughts to with oneself. BUT, the very first step must be to try to like yourself, to love yourself even, and be kind to yourself. You have to be at peace with yourself before you are at peace with others.

I can also recommend a book about unwanted thoughts called "White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts". The basic premise being that attempts to stop thoughts from recurring will only make them come back harder and stronger than before. I can definitely vouch for the effectiveness of the counter proposal.

 

[evanescencefan91]

I am a very insecure person and i worry a lot about people liking me.

The worst part about these thoughts that I also have is it's like. I don't try to think about these things.

But I'll dwell on things for 5 minutes before I even realize I'm doing it. Like I'm subcounsciously doing it.

 

[frey12]

Hopefully when we get older we care less and less what people think. Im looking for running around old a nude and no one being able to do anything about it because I am old!

 

[evanescencefan91]

haha, thats funnny
XD

I hope so too.

 

[Skorian]

What exactly is a negative thought?

Can you just try to think constructive things and if it isn't constructive then think of something else? Personally I think it's good to know the good and bad side of things. Like when people say the glass is half empty. Actually in all reality the glass is both half full and half empty both at the same time.

 

[tomuchnothing]

I know exactly how you feel, and it looks like by reading these replies I'm not the only one.

For me I get the thoughts as you do but I also get images of horrible things which I have had to see. At times these thoughts and images can become become so bad that they are almost crippling. As with blue sky this does not happen all the time, but when it does it never is pleasant.

I fully agree with everyone who has said that we must learn to love and appreciate ourselves before we can do the same to others.

I also have to say that everyone on this forum is so good with words and seem to know exactly how to explain feelings, far better then I ever could which is why I don't really post much because I feel that others can say how I feel so much better and I can take some comfort in just reading the posts here, and I'm sory if that is a bit selfish and I will try post more in the future thank you to everyone that has ever posted here
Oh and sory for babbling on a bit, just one of those nights.

 

[Fulgrim]

I tend to overthink what people say, even inane little actions have me trying to delve into a possible deeper meaning for it. I get paranoid and takes things too far and since Im left to myself all day all can do is be introspective....which is not healthy in my case. I cant help very much but I know how you feel. It sucks to be aware of my disorders

 

[davechaos]

I appreciate how you feel. I have just had a strange couple of days where my plans have been changed at the last minute due to my partner and her daughter being ill. This has sent me into such a despair that I find it impossible to think of anything else other than the negatives and the worst case scenarios.

I think that the sadness with have had in our lives builds up over time and then we doubt ourselves and our abilities to rise above this.

 

[palendrom]

Hey Bluesky, it sounds like you have similar issues to myself, I've been seeing a counsellor for a while and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) has helped me a lot.

Using an example from my life (to day in fact): I found out the girl at work I have a major crush on has a bf. I instantly leap to anxiety and depression because of thoughts that this means I'll be alone forever and no woman could eve love me.

Now, on reflection, that's not the most stable response and CBT techniques are helping me adress my faulty thought processes... it's a skill and I've been working on it for a few years and I'm still stuggling but it get easier and easier.

You said you were seeing a counsellor? Ask them, maybe they can give you an pinion if it suit you... I;m reticent to say it'll help for everyone but it's helped me out