Ode to the nice guys

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melissa1987

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Food for thought..

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal


This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what ******** guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
 
There is only one thing I can say... Breathtaking! Thank you!

Warmest regards,
KW
 
today was a very depressing day for me, but youve made my day a bit better...

ive experienced through most of your nice guy examples...

love you:)
 
SighX99 said:
today was a very depressing day for me, but youve made my day a bit better...

ive experienced through most of your nice guy examples...

love you:)

Awwwwwww! I'm very glad that it brightened your day!!
 
melissa1987 said:
Food for thought..

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal


This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what ******** guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Thank you, Miss Melissa. I know that I am a good guy but I do make my mistakes.

 
I loved reading this. I'm probably one of those rare women who always dated the geeky or otherwise under-noticed "nice guys." I never liked the "bad boy" types. I saw right through them what jerks they were and definitely didn't want that. I always found it was the 'nice guys' who could hold up their end of a conversation. They had good manners. My brothers liked them (a very important distinction. I used to let my brothers meet any guy I dated. If they didn't like him, I dumped him just because they were excellent judges of character). I will never be the most beautiful woman in the world or the sexiest. I will never be the smartest, cleverest or even the most interesting, but when a nice guy looks at me and listens to me like no other woman exists...well, there's just no more wonderful feeling than that. And in my experience at least, the 'nice guys' may not be the most exciting as far as day to day life goes, but I've found that more often than not, they are better in bed than the 'bad boy' types. I had relationships with one or two guys bordering on that type (though not quite) and they weren't that good in bed. The 'nice guys' were more patient and were as eager to please as they were to be pleased and were far more open-minded. It was a better give-and-take experience than with the others. My 'nice guys' really wanted to know how to please me in bed. The ones that weren't as nice were just interested in getting their rocks off. It may seem shallow, but sexual compatibility is important whether anyone wants to admit it or not. I always found I was more sexually compatible with the nice guy types. Maybe it was because they didn't get laid as often so they had more of an anything goes attitude than the ones who got it more and were blase' about it but I always appreciated their "attention" more.

So, to all you nice guys out there, don't give up hope. We women who go for you guys may be fewer and farther between, but we are out there. :)
 
A guy who gives a woman a relationship without expecting sex is like a woman who gives sex without expecting a relationship.

I wonder if anyone ever wrote 'ode to the sluts'?
 
SocratesX said:
I find this extremely insulting.

Don't you ever give a woman that you have romantic feelings for a relationship without expecting sex.

Just like as a woman, I should offer sex to a man that I have romantic feelings for without expecting a relationship.
 
Just like as a woman, I should offer sex to a man that I have romantic feelings for without expecting a relationship.
------
I think you mean't to put "never" between should and offer....
 
I'm truely stunned.
Sitting here with my mouth hanging open.
Bless your heart. Thank you.
 
Sterling said:
Just like as a woman, I should offer sex to a man that I have romantic feelings for without expecting a relationship.
------
I think you mean't to put "never" between should and offer....

You are correct. Thank you, sir.

 
No that whole article on the "nice guys" was patronizing and downright rude. I'd rather females be straight up honest on what they think of "nice guys" (creepers, pussies, ugly, pets) then making some patronizing article. When I have more time I will be more extensive.
 
SocratesX said:
No that whole article on the "nice guys" was patronizing and downright rude. I'd rather females be straight up honest on what they think of "nice guys" (creepers, pussies, ugly, pets) then making some patronizing article. When I have more time I will be more extensive.

Creepers? Pussies? Uglies? Pets?! Is this how-no. I already know the answer to this. Of course you think this is how we should be viewed.

So then tell me this. How do you think the Bulk n Cut Asshats should be viewed. You know, the guys we should become whenever you tell some lost and lonely soul to bulk up, learn some MMA, see a stylist coach, and beat their chests(figuratively speaking) around other Alpha males for dominance and a choice of mate in clubs. How should we be looking at them?

EDIT: @OP, if you don't mind, I'm gonna copypasta as a facebook note. You will be credited.
 
I dont mean to be negative at all..

great article... but I totally agree with Mary Mary here.

Nice guys PLEASE remember this when looking for a mate.

ode to the sluts!!! ....we are your equivalents! lol.

Mary Mary said:
A guy who gives a woman a relationship without expecting sex is like a woman who gives sex without expecting a relationship.

I wonder if anyone ever wrote 'ode to the sluts'?

 

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