I'm guessing you're younger?
It's so much more difficult to be younger these days than it used to be.
The internet makes it challenging, very challenging, because it's like you can't escape without also totally disconnecting at the same time. Even we adults struggle with that one.
Life is an offensive experience.
It just is.
If it's been an offensive experience for 12,000 years, it's probably going to keep being an offensive experience.
The trick is in learning how to manage it.
I spent most of my younger years, up until I was between 24 and 27, mostly wanting to kill myself pretty much all of the time.
It never really totally goes away, but it does get easier to deal with.
Modern social media connects people, but also it's really not good for your mental health.
Depending on if you're more introverted or more extroverted, I'd say maybe unplug from it.
Spend the time with your own hobbies away from it, educating yourself and trying to learn and accept your own mind, teaching yourself how not to be a slave to your own desires.
Because, there are two things to never forget:
1.) Life is voracious. It can and will break anyone and everyone, and you should expect it to do so and do your best to prepare ahead of time. I've seen it happen to teens, and I've seen it happen to hardened and well experienced adults. That's just what life does. All you can do is prepare yourself ahead of time and be ready for it. The trick is to knowing that it will happen when it happens, thereafter you'll be able to manage it better, which is why knowing yourself inside and out is very important.
2.) Most people are normal people, and normal people are controlled by their fears. Fear gives rise to aspiration. But if you want answers and solutions you have to be willing to sit and deal with the suffering that comes in life from things that are not immediate threats to your physical existence. The point here is to learn not to be reactionary, because if you are reactionary, surely your opposition will learn your patterns and the suffering will continue. Instead, you have to do the exact opposite. Because most people are controlled by their fears, you will find that that bullies and those as such are too, controlled by their fears. If you take away your assailants weapons, be they words or social situations that seem suspect, than they will have no leverage against you. And so you will find, that they too are the way that they are because of their fears.
Humans are products of their environments. If our environments were different than thus as such we would also be different. For example, people are usually calm on an airplane. But if an airlock breaks, suddenly nobody is calm anymore and for pretty good reasons.
Anyway, I am giving you this out of genuine care and concern because I had to figure this crap out the hard way myself and so this is me being the help that I wished I had when I was younger to better explain to me why the world and the people of the world are the way that they are.
Best of luck, OP.
a lot of people think imbalances are personality traits. I did for a long while.
