Oh boy, the things loneliness makes you do...

[TheRealCallie]

How bad are they? If she ever released them, it would be absolutely mortifying. It's a lot of stuff about my family and friends (more like acquaintances/friends) basically. I vent a lot about them to her.  However, will it be the death of me? No. So that's why I am not worried too much about that. What I am worried about right now is much more serious. I mean, I don't want to bore anyone with the details, but if you want to know, I have no problem telling. The point is, she actually really crossed the line with this most recent incident and until I figure out exactly what I am going to do, I just shut my phone down. She might still have control over me but in a way she doesn't because now she can't call me multiple times a day with her bizarre stories and fake crisis and then pry into my life and try to run it and control it from there.  The most recent incident, the reason I just shut my phone down, will fuel her like, I can't find the right comparison; like an evil Disney villain, where they go from being bad to worse. Picture Jafar from Aladdin at the end of the movie when he wants all the power and turns into that monster......that is my friend. If I don't shut her down right now, she will take this and run with this. She has been licking her chops since she met me to get something like this on me and I was very careful not to let her, until now. I knew one day it was going to happen and it did. I am ashamed of myself. I don't even want to think about it.

You don't have to tell if you don't want to, but it might help to get a different perspective on it.  If you don't want to air it on open forum, I'd be glad to listen in PM.  It's entirely up to you, though.

 

[wallflower79]

I'm not sure how much this will help, but you could "hide" your friends list on facebook. I wish I could be more help, MissLonely. Your situation sounds awful.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

I would shutdown all your social media, tell her not to contact you or any of your acquaintances in regard to you, and let her know one attempt to the contrary will constitute harassment, and you will notify the police. If she has already threatened to interfere in your personal life with the intent to cause you harm - emotional or otherwise - that actually is a criminal offense.

 

[MissLonely79]

Ok, now she is offering to buy me a phone. I said, no thank you and she said "yes, yes I am going to buy you a phone. I don't care what you say, you will take my money!".

Oh no you're not psycho *****. Leave me alone!


And another story today. Apparently she was attacked (again) while grocery shopping. Some homeless man apparently grabbed her by the head, ripped out a chunk of her hair and threw her down to the ground. God forgive me for me not believing her if this really did happen to her , but I don't think it did. No one can keep having this happen to them all the time.


I am not looking for any responses because I don't want to bother anyone with this. It can get annoying, I know. But I would just like to be able to document what's going on. Might as well. How to lose a crazy person in 10 days lmao. Stay tunned.  No, this isn't funny at all. Nothing funny at all feeling being controlled and stalked.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

I would shutdown all your social media, tell her not to contact you or any of your acquaintances in regard to you, and let her know one attempt to the contrary will constitute harassment, and you will notify the police. If she has already threatened to interfere in your personal life with the intent to cause you harm - emotional or otherwise - that actually is a criminal offense.

 

[MissLonely79]

I would shutdown all your social media, tell her not to contact you or any of your acquaintances in regard to you, and let her know one attempt to the contrary will constitute harassment, and you will notify the police. If she has already threatened to interfere in your personal life with the intent to cause you harm - emotional or otherwise - that actually is a criminal offense.

haha, if it gets out of control, I certainly will.

 

[dd11]

You need HEALTHY relationships. This isn't healthy and you know it. You have to think of it like this. Spending your time talking and being involved with her is time you are not spending working on yourself, enjoying your own life or meeting other people. You are wasting your time on a road to nowhere. If she was a nice phone friend, then fine. But, she isn't. Tell her goodbye and move on . You really need to do that.

 

[MissLonely79]

Ok you all. She did exactly what I thought she was going to do. She stuck her finger right in my bloody nerve. Messing with that one part of my life that is very serious. I planned for this to happen. I'm trying not to panic. I'm trying to remember w hat I told myself and that was to completely ignore her. Don't give her any response or reaction. Don't fuel the beast. But now I am completely questioning myself. Is there a smarter way to deal with this? I don't know what to do. I'm just trying to calm myself before I make any decision but how long do I have? Will she let it go or is she going to make it worse?

 

[MisterLonely]

Do not respond! I don't know how long ago she did whatever she did, but your first thought is correct, do not feul the beast!
Had as it may be you need to weather the storm, she'll probably pick up in intensity before it's over, but do not give in or you'll never be rid of her!

 

[MissLonely79]

Do not respond! I don't know how long ago she did whatever she did, but your first thought is correct, do not feul the beast!
Had as it may be you need to weather the storm, she'll probably pick up in intensity before it's over, but do not give in or you'll never be rid of her!

Exactly how I feel about it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do not respond! I don't know how long ago she did whatever she did, but your first thought is correct, do not feul the beast!
Had as it may be you need to weather the storm, she'll probably pick up in intensity before it's over, but do not give in or you'll never be rid of her!

Okay, don't get me wrong, I don't disagree with this. But at the same time, I'm looking at the situation another way. 

The "Friend" is a bully.  Ignoring a bully only fuels their fire to get a rise out of you, so by ignoring you, she will likely take it quite a few more steps up until you do get so upset or angry that you do something.  But what would she do if you got angry and confronted her?  Without being timid, without being afraid, just stomp right up to her and give her a piece of your mind? 

Honestly, I don't know which would be better as I don't know her or you, but you definitely seem to be between a rock in a hard place.  I think you might be damned if you do, damned if you don't here.  I hope you can figure a way out of this.

 

[MissLonely79]

Callie,

I did it. I did it before I even read your last reply. I just couldn't take the pressure. I couldn't continue like this for weeks and weeks when it was probably going to wind up the same way anyway. I was just coming here to tell you all what I did and then I read your reply and I'm telling you, reading your reply just made me feel so validated that I could cry right now. I needed to hear that at this exact moment. I knew she was never going to stop! I had no choice but to confront this and I feel like she even set me up that way, meaning She loves to fight and when she reads that email I sent to her, she is going to go off like no other. She left me no choice but to react and now I feel like she's going to go full force on me. I feel like she did this all on purpose to cause upheaval in my life!!! Callie, I want to tell you exactly what happened to get your take. I will pm you with it later today or tomorrow. It's hard to write because I feel so ashamed and highly stressed about it.

 

[MisterLonely]

Hey MissLonely,

Good to hear you got to that fresia all point and stood up for yourself!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Callie,

I did it. I did it before I even read your last reply. I just couldn't take the pressure. I couldn't continue like this for weeks and weeks when it was probably going to wind up the same way anyway. I was just coming here to tell you all what I did and then I read your reply and I'm telling you, reading your reply just made me feel so validated that I could cry right now. I needed to hear that at this exact moment.  I knew she was never going to stop! I had no choice but to confront this and I feel like she even set me up that way, meaning She loves to fight and when she reads that email I sent to her, she is going to go off like no other. She left me no choice but to react and now I feel like she's going to go full force on me. I feel like she did this all on purpose to cause upheaval in my life!!!  Callie, I want to tell you exactly what happened to get your take. I will pm you with it later today or tomorrow. It's hard to write because I feel so ashamed and highly stressed about it.

You'll get no judgments from me.  Take your time, whenever you're ready.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

What the actual...

 

[MissLonely79]

Bleed the freak,

What happen was, I knew when I was going to start ignoring her, that she was going to get mad and get at me at the one thing that she knows upsets me the most. She knew it would get a reaction out of me and basically force me to talk to her when I didn't want to.  I knew she was going to do it, but I was wishing she wasn't going to , but she did. She did it Friday night. I tried to prepare myself for what I was going to do if she did it and my plan was to completely ignore her, give the beast no energy or fuel, but when it happened, something in my gut was screaming at me, telling me she was going to make it worse if I ignored her and the plan changed. So I did like Callie said (I really had no choice) and I stood up to her in an extremely firm way. I spelled it out for her, I was very clear and told her not to do this to me or else I would never speak to her again, block her from every social media outlet that I have and most importantly, I told her I would press charges on her if she kept doing what she was doing. I told her I wasn't f**king around. She has no right to put my family or myself safety into jeopardy or play games with our lives. Just no. F**k off with that bull crap.

She is delusional.  She is crazy. She is insane. And I am very sorry I ever started talking to her again. Again, hence the title of this post.  When you're extremely lonely, it's very easy to fall into a dangerous situation like this. And I know this. I see this very clearly from the outside. But sometimes, all the knowledge and wisdom in the world can't defeat the most primal of human instincts. Being extremely lonely with no one to talk to for years can reek havoc on  your mental health and your well being. You're so desperate for someone to talk to, to understand you, to validate you and you fall as an easy prey to people like my friend because she gives you what you need (and I ALWAYS reciprocate. I always make sure I am just as good as a friend as I would want others to be me. Sometimes I am too good and too kind. Whatever the case, I always make sure I am a good friend and give as much as I can to them). It's really a shame that she had to pull this. When she is not crazy, she is an insanely cool friend. She is funny and there for you. Everything you could ever want in a friend and I sincerely mean that. That's why before this, it was so hard to let her go. But then there is this insanely dark side to her and that's sad. And I am going to have to grieve the lost of that part of her. The loss of that part of our friendship. I don't know why she chooses to be like that. There is something very sinister inside of her and it sucks.

So, yeah. I have to do what is best for me and mines. Another friend bites the dust. However, before I can actually consider her gone, I am keeping my guard up. As I said, after that email I sent her of putting her in her place, I know she is fuming and that is probably the understatement of the century. I can literally feel her having a nervous breakdown from clear across the country (probably screaming and crying with makeup running down her face like a psycho in a horror film) and it scares the honeysuckle out of me. I know she is beyond furious. Especially since she can't get a hold of me and God knows what she will do try to do to get me to call her.  I am going to have to deal with her backlash for a long while before this over and I can move on peacefully with my life. I'm sure she is plotting my demise as we speak right now (rolling eyes but serious). However, I will deal with it when it happens and I will not be afraid to call the police. As Callie said, I cannot allow her to bully me and make me afraid. I have a right as human being not to be harassed, not to be controlled and not to live in fear.  I just pray for peace and I honestly pray for her to get help and healed with whatever made my friend this way. This will be the last time I'm calling her my friend, as she no longer is my friend. I just will refer to her now as Eve.