Old friends move on, but I don't?

[Wave Shock]

I'm sick of it...How is it that people I have had as friends have been able to move on with their lives and I have not? I leave a friend, they leave a friend...I move away, they move away...similar events, and yet different outcomes.

Being a military brat, I see others being able to adjust well. It's been over 4 years for me, and I've yet to make a close friend...I talk with my old friends, and I just get so angry on how well their lives have been going...I just cannot understand how I haven't been able to move on. I'm me, and I don't know?

The green-eyed monster can be a cruel feeling, I know, but do I have a right to be envious?

Anyways, *vent off*. I'm just so angry right now...

 

[lonelydude]

hello dude

ive had sort of the same prob for a very long while. Even though i have new friends now its kinda weird and annoying and moreso depressing seeing every1 have such a good time but not me.

Trust me the more u think about it the harder it gets. There was this 1 time when i totally forgot about them , but then i got depressed due to some other reason and that really retriggered my whole depression cycle.

However the key is just to forget about em , and not to try too hard to get new friends.

Trust me, this is as hard as its gonna get, things will only get better here from now. Im not saying im totally depression free, but im much much better than before.

 

[Crew99]

I'm sick of it...How is it that people I have had as friends have been able to move on with their lives and I have not? I leave a friend, they leave a friend...I move away, they move away...similar events, and yet different outcomes.

Being a military brat, I see others being able to adjust well. It's been over 4 years for me, and I've yet to make a close friend...I talk with my old friends, and I just get so angry on how well their lives have been going...I just cannot understand how I haven't been able to move on. I'm me, and I don't know?

The green-eyed monster can be a cruel feeling, I know, but do I have a right to be envious?

Anyways, *vent off*. I'm just so angry right now...

Well your friends may have other friends who have other friends and so on. It's like they accumulate so many friends at one point that even if they lost a couple, they'd still be left with some. And the ones that they already have expand even more when they meet other people on top of that. The thing with you is you probably go it alone like me. If you move to a new place for example, your by yourself and anyone you meet doesn't become a friend automatically. It takes time. And say you guys met, that person might not feel inclined to introduce to his other friends. And say you move out and again and again always having to adjust to a new place, it's hard to ever keep lasting friendships. I know so many people who've lived in one place their whole life...same middle school and high school in the town they were born in and have had the same friends from day 1. Then a new kid comes a long and of course they're a bit skeptical about this kid and are still tryng to scope him out. U're at a disadvantage because the friendships you've made weren't solid enough to begin with and once those people go, you lose a connection which makes it hard to connect with someone else who has friends already. It's hard when even the slightest changes in your life like losing touch with friends happen, cause then you'll be alone. So next time when you make a friend, hold on tight and get deep with that person. Meet their friends and their friends friends and keep on meeting more and more and more till you have so many friends you wish you had some time alone for yourself. That's when you can rest easy. I'm like you...i have a LOOOOONG way to go =)

 

[The Quiet Place]

wave, i completely feel the same way. i feel envy and even bitter at my friends too. my friends now live farther away from me, and when i hear or see pictures of them, they are having the best time of their life while i'm by myself. then when they talk to me they act like nothing is wrong with me and only talk about how great things are going for them. i try and be the good friend and just smile and laugh, but i wish they would just care and ask me if i'm okay.

 

[Arianna]

wave, i completely feel the same way. i feel envy and even bitter at my friends too. my friends now live farther away from me, and when i hear or see pictures of them, they are having the best time of their life while i'm by myself. then when they talk to me they act like nothing is wrong with me and only talk about how great things are going for them. i try and be the good friend and just smile and laugh, but i wish they would just care and ask me if i'm okay.

Maybe they're trying to give you the impression that everything is wonderful? People (even friends) tend to highlight the best points of their lives when making conversation with others. Some are just shy in admiting otherwise.

 

[suna]

wave, i completely feel the same way. i feel envy and even bitter at my friends too. my friends now live farther away from me, and when i hear or see pictures of them, they are having the best time of their life while i'm by myself. then when they talk to me they act like nothing is wrong with me and only talk about how great things are going for them. i try and be the good friend and just smile and laugh, but i wish they would just care and ask me if i'm okay.

Maybe they're trying to give you the impression that everything is wonderful? People (even friends) tend to highlight the best points of their lives when making conversation with others. Some are just shy in admiting otherwise.

yep.

 

[jamie]

I'm sick of it...How is it that people I have had as friends have been able to move on with their lives and I have not? I leave a friend, they leave a friend...I move away, they move away...similar events, and yet different outcomes.
Being a military brat, I see others being able to adjust well. It's been over 4 years for me, and I've yet to make a close friend...I talk with my old friends, and I just get so angry on how well their lives have been going...I just cannot understand how I haven't been able to move on. I'm me, and I don't know?
The green-eyed monster can be a cruel feeling, I know, but do I have a right to be envious?
Anyways, *vent off*. I'm just so angry right now...

wow! I can really identify with this...
I moved away from home and wanted to find fabulous new friends from new cultures, while my old friends stayed home.
in the end, 7 years later, they have whole new lives, new friends, great times, they go on vacations and ski-trips with their new friends... and I have practically nobody.
I envy my old friends, and I'm ashamed of admitting the truth to them.

 

[Wave Shock]

It's funny though. As much as I envy how well their lives have been going, I'm glad that they're happy. Even if I'm feeling down, it doesn't mean I want them to be down as well. I guess it's really why I try to cover my feelings from people.

 

[jamie]

It's funny though. As much as I envy how well their lives have been going, I'm glad that they're happy. Even if I'm feeling down, it doesn't mean I want them to be down as well. I guess it's really why I try to cover my feelings from people.

oh, of course... you're not a bad person, and it's not a malicious kind of envy... it can be tough.
but if you just let them, maybe their good energy could help you feel better.
I tried avoiding my friends for a while, because I couldn't face them feeling so bad about my own life, but I realized that their company mostly makes me feel better.
they care about you, too.

 

[unlucky]

I'm kinda having that moving on problem now with my childhood friends and I'm getting ready to write a long letter to tell them how i feel about being shut out of their lives. The problem with my childhood friend, 3 out of 4 of my friends had personal issue going on when we had our reunion and they were not ready for a friendship at that time.Well, I'm writing a letter to my childhood friends to let them know finally how i feel.I'm going to say I care about our friendship and tell them how important it is to have friends around through good and bad times.We need each other especially now that we're getting older and we're almost 40 in 3 years(LOL).
My best advice to anybody in this situation don't assume anything and let your friends know how you feel.I would write a letter or email this person.I think people need to realize we all need family,friends or acquiantance in our lives even people like me who like to be alone.We need a balance.People stop taking friendship for granted.

 

[NeverMore]

I'll tell you what the worst part of this whole situation is: the akward and generic conversations that are had because you haven't talked to them in a year or so, I gave up on the whole ordeal recently, for better or worse, problem is I have to go home eventually..

 

[Hope_Reigns]

I can totally relate with this. It seems all my old friends have moved on and are happy, and I'm still in the same place.. Some don't need or seem interested enough to talk to me anymore, yet I'm still the same person they liked and wanted around. Honestly, lately it has me feeling like, at one time I was good enough and even great in their estimation, but now I'm not good enough for them to waste their time on

 

[sora]

I've been experiencing this recently, most of my friends left for university and we just lost contact, I've tried to get back in touch with them in the past couple of weeks but have heard little response. I've also found out that they're meeting up with each other over the New Year but I've just not been invited for some reason

 

[Jeremi]

I really don't like to bump into old friends or old aquaintances. Everyone is doing all kinds of exciting stuff, studying, moving to different countries ect. I got nothing. I haven't made any progress in four years. I ask all kind of stuff and try to focus on them as much as possible. When they ask me what I'm doing, I can only say "Oh, the same old stuff". Then it gets silent and awkward....

 

[Estreen]

I can identify a LOT with this... even with my boyfriend. It's why last year was so hard for me. (For those who don't know), I'm in a long distance relationship, have been with him for 4+ years now. He lives in London, England, I live on the east coast of USA. His first year of uni was last year and it was hard for me to adjust, seeing my normally not-so-social, introverted boyfriend going out a LOT, parties, clubs, being around tons of people (and stupid clingy girls >.<) and I couldn't take it because I WANTED that kind of life or at least more of it than I have right now, whereas he doesn't really care and it took a lot more time from the relationship, which if it were a regular distanced relationship, then it would be fine.

A lot of my friends are also graduating in 2009, and I feel that's where I should be, but instead I'm just starting in March 2009 which isn't bad, that's just my path, but it makes me feel a little down knowing most of my other peers are already done and ready to move to the next step in their lives. I always seem to be a step behind most, and I hate that feeling.

 

[SilentThinker]

The time that I went to my new "school",the friends that I have in the past have new friends from their new academic institution.From closeness to nil.

I do kept in contact with them through some outings but their activities consisted of other friends they know in their new institution.

Time for other friends= less time to socialize with them for me