On knowing thyself

[Luke_S]

Recently I've been thinking, is it better to do something just to get the favour of others, or is it better to do what you like to do, without the considerations of what other people would think?

I think the question can go slightly higher than just naturally being who you are, because as you know you may get on with other people better than others, and sometimes you don't want to come off as rude to people that might take things the wrong way or be offended by certain things.

I'm just pondering whether people should take being spontaneous as an insult, for example if someone that was really un-self consious accidently said something to offend you, would you take it as real offence, or just be ok with knowing its just the way the person is...

Yet being spontaneous has its good points, you just go with the flow of life without a care in the world, that next job might be on the horizon, but it wouldnt matter too much because you'd just spontanously exist without having too much thought connection towards future events.

I'd love to be able to think this way, but the fact is I have an over-active brain that is either a ticking time bomb (in the sense of not being able to relax at time because I think...think...think!) or, if used wisely could be used to great advantage.

I've always known I've been highly self aware and analytical from a young age and I've kinda learnt how to get on with different people from loads of different backgrounds, I could almost 'imitate' them if I wanted in order to gain favour through personality traits that are almost flattering because its a form of imitation.

Whilst having this ability is a good thing, sometimes I think to myself is that sort of a definition of 'selling out'? doing something just to get the favour of others by changing what you do? Yet whilst I can do this there always remains a sense of myself so maybe its not entirely that bad a thing.

It could almost be applied to art or music aswell, would it be better to change your style just to gain popularity, or would it be better to stick to your own style, yet gain that crowd of devoted fans that really like your work.

Yet in any case, its better to stick to your own style and fail, than to sell out and still fail!

Whats your views!?

 

[Nyktimos]

I used to be whoever I needed to be to win favour from people. I didn't realise it at the time. Now, I just try to do my best for people without consideration for what I may get from it. I no longer expect or seek to make a special connection with anyone. I expect people to be people, and assume they have as much crap going through their minds as I have. We sometimes have a very simplistic view of who other people are and why they do things.

I don't think it's selling out to modify behaviour according to present company. That's simply the way we're wired. I've known people who claim to 'tell it like it is' and if they have a problem with someone they'll 'tell them to their face'. Those people are usually a pain in the arse! Being accustomed to blustering and bullying your way through disagreements and incompatibilities, talking anyone down, means never having to see things from someone else's point of view. It's a form of power, and power corrupts. Like a dictator, if you no longer perceive consequences to your actions, you don't ever really see what you're doing wrong; anything you feel and want becomes justifyable to you, and you don't have to listen to anybody else. We like to think we are who we are and feel what we feel, but I think the truth is we moderate our views according to what we can get away with.

 

[Divinitywolf]

Some believe every human is selfish.
We help people to make ourselves feel good, to feel satisfied and warm.
We have children and care for them so our children make us happy and to carry on our genes.

Everything thats done seems to be done for self happiness even if it means bearing pain for someone you love, you will still feel good somewhere inside that you're caring for the one you love.

Not sure whether I believe this completely but its certainly a possibility.

 

[Nyktimos]

Some believe every human is selfish.
We help people to make ourselves feel good, to feel satisfied and warm.
We have children and care for them so our children make us happy and to carry on our genes.

Everything thats done seems to be done for self happiness even if it means bearing pain for someone you love, you will still feel good somewhere inside that you're caring for the one you love.

Not sure whether I believe this completely but its certainly a possibility.

I think there's a lot to be said for that point of view.

 

[Luke_S]

I think the whole concept of trying to figure yourself out is ridiculous really, but just like anything in reality we want to know the things we will never understand, finding out why we do certain things is like trying to find the answer to the universe, since we are pretty much beings of life which do things in a certain way according to our existence.

Theres probably thousands upon thousands of ideas and theories behind what we are, but in reality I think the answer is just to exist...and if thats the case, then wouldn't guilt be a form of denying our reality as a whole, since we are guilty for actually being here? But I think deep down every person has a right to spiritually beleif his own way, and I think that whatever a persons beleif is, forms there version of reality, so therefore every person has the power to change there form of reality and thus remove any form of guilt you would normally get from living a normal life.

...just an idea I came up with lol

 

[Estreen]

Wow, this is an excellent topic. I too, have wondered about this, because I seem to have a habit of slightly modifying my behavior as to not come off as offensive and to perhaps gain friendships but I've wondered if that makes me a "sell out"; I still wonder that. Should I just completely "be myself" and not worry at all about what people think, even if it may hurt some? Do I completely suck up and adapt each time I'm around other people? Or do I keep on trying to balance myself on the tight-rope, one wobbly foot in front of the other, hoping not to fall off?

 

[Spare]

I've always felt that people who accuse others of "selling out" or "conforming" are far to elitist for their own good. I say just be the way that feels right to you. Whatever works best.

This applys to the "elitists", as well. If that's the way they are the most comfortable being, more power to them.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Know thyself leads to self acceptence.

We all have our assets and our liabilites. Our strength and weakness.
Capitalize on your assest and work on your liablities.

Doing an inventory of oneself. One should be honest.
Identify your stocks.

As in a bussiness
A bussiness would not want to hold on to stocks that is damaged or stail merchandise that is
useless taking up space or drain the bussiness.
Rather stock items that will sell or useful, that will generate revenue.

A bussiness would also want to take an honest assestment for the value the merchandise.
Not to over price it nor under price it. Not to exagerate oneway or the other.

As in a bussiness, an annual or semi annul inventory is taken for better assestments.
A tideouse task but the pay off is will worth it.
The inventory changes constantly. Merchandize's shelf life may veri from one product to the other.
What was the best seller last year might just be taking up space this year.

Another analogy is....as in inspect your automobile.
If there's an oil warning light or a grinding sound being generated somewhere.
It is best to not ignore it...rather stop and check under the hood.
A minor or repairable problems can be corrected rather then to have
an engine blow up, which will require a major over haul.

Some people continue to drive with the parking brakes on and wonder why
they get poor gas mileage, then complain that the car is a piece of honeysuckle.lol

Some people likes to continue to drive with a flat tire...further damaging the tire and the rim.lol
Rather then just stopping and use a spare tire.

Some people have frontend miss alignments and continue to drive cuasing tire damages
and CVC joints damage.

mmm..if there's a wierd griding noise coming from the transmission...If you're not
a transmission expert..it is best sometimes to seek advice from a transmission
expert...not advice from the gardening lady.lol

Some poeple just slap gas in their car. They don't take care of it or had never
taking the time to ..becuase there's always someone else in their lives to deal
with the consequences or pick up the bills.

Preventive maintenace
It is also recommended that an oil change be made every 3000 miles..
Install fresh filter and get rid of the old engine oil or gunt. Lube the U joints...etc.
A 1000 hour maintence of flushing the entire system is recommending for most heavy equipments. (release and let go)
Perhaps change the spark plugs or a tune up every other year.

Some people like to spontanously do burn outs or donuts in thier car to show off...
then wonder why it's a rough ride after...(becuase doing burn outs destroys the tires)
Then a week later the transmission fails...lol

Another analogy is...if you didn't take a bath and have BO...(becuase you don't like taking a bath)
Don't complain if no one wants to be around you. Of course, we all know of people in our lives
that thinks thier honeysuckle don't stinks...

If you don't want a ticket or minimize the chances of getting a ticket...drive with your seatbelt on.lol
If you like to get drunk...get drunk. Nothing wrong with getting drunk.
If you get drunk then drive...you might go to jail or kill someone.
Decisions...decisions..lol

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Recently I've been thinking, is it better to do something just to get the favour of others, or is it better to do what you like to do, without the considerations of what other people would think?

I think that there's got to be a happy medium somewhere between a complete chameleon who completely changes himself according to whoever he's interacting with, and someone who is so wholly selfish that he never takes into account another person's POV.

It could almost be applied to art or music aswell, would it be better to change your style just to gain popularity, or would it be better to stick to your own style, yet gain that crowd of devoted fans that really like your work.

Yet in any case, its better to stick to your own style and fail, than to sell out and still fail!

Well I, for one, am in favor of artistic integrity... for myself. I don't really care if someone else sells out because I don't have to live his/her life. I'm only accountable for myself.

 

[Phyxi]

Hmm. For the first half of my teenage life, I would sit back, study people, then base my personality around what these people would consider 'good and sociable traits.' Certainly, I made a bunch of great friends like that, but eventually, it became too much to handle, and I didn't keep these friends. I lost touch with myself, and what defines me. That is probably my biggest regret, because now I think a connection to oneself is of upmost importance. I think I - for a lack of a better term - "sold out" who I was, and it was a bad choice. And, I'm paying for that. For the past few years I have been trying to accept who I am - the good and the bad. That's why when people are themselves, I admire and accept them, even if I do not like parts of them. The parts that you don't like might even be a reflection of traits in yourself that you haven't become conscious of yet (well, that's what I'd like to believe... I love Jung's psychology!)

 

[heretostay]

I've always known I've been highly self aware and analytical from a young age and I've kinda learnt how to get on with different people from loads of different backgrounds, I could almost 'imitate' them if I wanted in order to gain favour through personality traits that are almost flattering because its a form of imitation.

im the same way. i tend to subtly imitate people and i watch people interact to learn how its "properly" done.

i think its a useful tool and has its place. although sometimes i think it would be liberating (for everyone) if one could just say what one is thinking.