Online Dating?

[omarlittle]

Has anyone tried it? And if so, what site(s) are good to use (preferably free)?

I really want to finally get into the dating world but one of my main problems has been general awkwardness/fear when it comes to approaching girls. I think its because I'm always so scared of being rejected and/or embarrassing myself.

I've been looking at possibly starting up an online dating profile because I feel like this method gets rid of all the awkwardness because you'll know right then and there if a girl is attracted to you. And when I actually go on a real date, I wouldnt feel as nervous...

Has anyone had any success with this?

 

[perfanoff]

Going to a date with someone you've never before can often turn awkward. Dating's always been a buyer's market because at any time the amount and general desire of women that want to consider a new sexual partner is way less than the amount of men who seek it.

My friend - an average-looking woman at best - got a hundred messages after she signed up for a profile at some dating site. So you need to really stand out in such competition with your profile and with your message. Don't expect more than a few messages to come your way every month unless you're Mr. Handsome, Successful and Funny.

Other than that I think it's a good idea to try. I've went on a couple of dates from online sites before, but it didn't work out. But I know people who have been for 5+ years together, and met through online dating.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

 

[9006]

I personally would rather go and meet people, but I have used dating sites in the past (I think it was girlsdateforfree.com or something), although not really seriously enough to find anyone.

The problem with dating sites is that there's so many people who use them that it's like a competition, it's almost like finding a job haha, most of the time there's always someone better qualified or has more experience than you. But I suppose it's down to the site, if you found one where the people on it are serious about dating (and not just to get laid) and their profile data actually reflects them (and not the porn actor they look up to) then that's worth looking into.

 

[duff]

Has anyone tried it? And if so, what site(s) are good to use (preferably free)?

I really want to finally get into the dating world but one of my main problems has been general awkwardness/fear when it comes to approaching girls. I think its because I'm always so scared of being rejected and/or embarrassing myself.

I've been looking at possibly starting up an online dating profile because I feel like this method gets rid of all the awkwardness because you'll know right then and there if a girl is attracted to you. And when I actually go on a real date, I wouldnt feel as nervous...

Has anyone had any success with this?

You could give it a go. Plenty of Fish is a free site so you don't have to waste any money.

I found it a big, depressing waste of time and money !

Watch out for the scammers !

 

[ladyforsaken]

All I can say is, if you do go ahead with it, be very careful and don't have too high expectations. Go ahead and explore, it doesn't always work out but the rare times it does, it could be amazing and long-lasting. I've known a couple who met through online dating, are married and happy with kids too. So it really depends. Just make sure you're very careful and trust no one.

 

[Lady X]

I met my husband on www.smooch.com

You don't say where you live, but Smooch is a good UK one anyway, and its free.

I was on there for a few years and met 3 guys. Two I dated for a short time, and then met my husband

I guess many sites can have spammers and con artists, but so can day to day life. I didn't meet any more weirdos or blaggers on there than I have offline.

Its worth a shot. There is a live chat feature, so you can swiftly see if a message is from a real person, and who they actually are. You can also set your photo to private and allow members to see it when you put them on your list, if you are concerned about privacy

 

[perfanoff]

I personally would rather go and meet people, but I have used dating sites in the past (I think it was girlsdateforfree.com or something), although not really seriously enough to find anyone.

The problem with dating sites is that there's so many people who use them that it's like a competition, it's almost like finding a job haha, most of the time there's always someone better qualified or has more experience than you. But I suppose it's down to the site, if you found one where the people on it are serious about dating (and not just to get laid) and their profile data actually reflects them (and not the porn actor they look up to) then that's worth looking into.

Yes it really feels a chore like finding a job on these sites sometimes

 

[LonelyInAtl]

If you aren't at least an 8 on the looks scale, you can forget about online dating if you're a guy....

 

[Lady X]

If you aren't at least an 8 on the looks scale, you can forget about online dating if you're a guy....

Disagree.

Of the 3 relationships that I've had that started online, only one of them even had a picture.


If someone isn't shallow in real life, they are not shallow online. If someone is shallow in real life, why would you even want to be with them? It'd only be a soulless hook-up. Looks fade, change, or in worst-case-scenario can be totally taken by an illness or accident.

So unless vacuous, high-maintenance shallow whores are your "thing", I shouldn't worry too much lol

 

[el Jay]

I've only tried one dating site (okcupid), but I've had nothing but bad luck there. 90% of women I message never even respond (oddly enough, most of them say in their profile that they'll respond if you actually say more than "sup baby" in your message), and the few that do rarely respond more than once. The couple that have actually struck up some sort of dialogue with me always just stop responding entirely a little bit later, even though it seemed like we were hitting it off.

All in all, it's been a waste of time at best, and emotionally painful at worst (usually when they started talking and we were getting along and then silence). It's made me feel that most women on dating sites, or at least the one in question, are shallow, self-centered, and rude, and are only concerned about themselves and no one else.

 

[duff]

If you aren't at least an 8 on the looks scale, you can forget about online dating if you're a guy....

Disagree.

Of the 3 relationships that I've had that started online, only one of them even had a picture.


If someone isn't shallow in real life, they are not shallow online. If someone is shallow in real life, why would you even want to be with them? It'd only be a soulless hook-up. Looks fade, change, or in worst-case-scenario can be totally taken by an illness or accident.

So unless vacuous, high-maintenance shallow whores are your "thing", I shouldn't worry too much lol

I disagree with you and agree with the other poster.

A nice photo of a attractive person will get more attention and replies. No if's or buts, it's true. A good profile will get more attention as well. And 'good' means salary mostly. I did a few experiments last year and proved my theory.

Of course the downside is, like you say, the women replying to these, are likely to be very shallow and not worth knowing.

I know 'online dating' works for some people but 'real life' dating does to. I would say to anybody, give online dating a go, try it out, don't spend too much money though. And then if it doesn't work out, stop before you get too pissed off with it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

If you aren't at least an 8 on the looks scale, you can forget about online dating if you're a guy....

:club: Not all women are like that. Do I need to club you?

 

[LonelyInAtl]

If you aren't at least an 8 on the looks scale, you can forget about online dating if you're a guy....

:club: Not all women are like that. Do I need to club you?

I'm not saying all women are, but the online dating world is a highly visual thing. IRL, you can meet someone and get to know them as a person and form an attraction based on deeper things than looks. But the VAST majority of online dating is a quick scan of the pictures for initial attraction, especially by women. I'm absolutely not saying that women are shallow, but they get a TON of messages and most only read the ones from guys they find physically appealing.

Plus, the "8" is a highly subjective thing. Who may be an "8" to one woman may be a "4" to another. I'm saying you need to be an "8" in someone's eyes.

it has nothing to do with anyone being shallow, but it's just how the game is played, IMHO.

 

[nerdygirl]

Dating is dating. It doesn't matter if you're online or offline. Each will present problems the other does not. How successful you are depends on what you want and what you have to offer.

Everybody wants specific qualities in a potential partner. It could be good looks. It could be affection. It could be ambition. The list goes into infinity, and there are innumerable combinations of these traits that will attract somebody to you. Know what you are looking for and be honest about it. Be honest with yourself and with others. Try to evaluate if the things you want are things you need, and vice versa. Sometimes, we limit ourselves to some ridiculous ideal that we can never find. Of course, we also can end up settling for less than we need because we get lonesome. Either direction is disastrous.

You have to have the right attitude for online dating. Obviously, you need to have the right attitude for any dating, but there are things specific to online dating.

For example: Some people get very huffy about not receiving a written response. The thing is- no response... IS a response. It means, "I'm not interested." Personally, I do not call everybody who sends me a resume for a job. I don't stop to chat with people who yell "compliments" when I walk down the street. I don't write replies to folks in Nigeria who have money in accounts only I could access for reasons unknown. Once upon a time, I did write back on dating sites. Sometimes, I still do. 90% of the time, I am then treated with hostility- all because I sent a polite and friendly note saying, "Sorry, but we're not compatible. Thanks for the interest and good luck!" Not responding is just easier.

I've known people who had great times with online dating. I've known people it didn't work for at all. If you're going to try it, I hear that okcupid is better for relationships and that plentyoffish is more for hookups.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

I've put up profile on multiple dating sites like eharmony, zoosk, match and even geek2geek. I've either gotten no response to my messages, 1 or 2 replies then nothing, or just continuous spam messages. It seemed like a big time waister to me so I just took down my profiles.

 

[ucxb]

Has anyone tried it? And if so, what site(s) are good to use (preferably free)?

Has anyone had any success with this?

I tried online dating sites eleven years ago... Dating sites are just another means to meet people. It may have exploded into something else now, I don't know, it's been awhile. People have different reasons for using dating sites and my limited recommendation is to be true to yourself and others. I met my ex via online dating site and we were together for nine years.

 

[Okiedokes]

"I've been looking at possibly starting up an online dating profile because I feel like this method gets rid of all the awkwardness because you'll know right then and there if a girl is attracted to you. And when I actually go on a real date, I wouldnt feel as nervous... "

Well, I think that would be a good idea especially since you can get a good idea of the person (at least some things) prior to actually meeting. In fact, doing the whole webcam/voice chat thing would be a good idea as well if things work out well, then I would imagine meeting in person wouldn't feel as scary. It's always good to have a plan for later on if you are wanting to date online. Not just dating online cause you can.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I've only tried one dating site (okcupid), but I've had nothing but bad luck there. 90% of women I message never even respond (oddly enough, most of them say in their profile that they'll respond if you actually say more than "sup baby" in your message), and the few that do rarely respond more than once. The couple that have actually struck up some sort of dialogue with me always just stop responding entirely a little bit later, even though it seemed like we were hitting it off.

All in all, it's been a waste of time at best, and emotionally painful at worst (usually when they started talking and we were getting along and then silence). It's made me feel that most women on dating sites, or at least the one in question, are shallow, self-centered, and rude, and are only concerned about themselves and no one else.

I really think that when you're on dating sites, some days your luck is good, some days your luck is bad. And usually, nothing happens overnight - unless all you're looking for or the other person is looking for, is just sex.

If you aren't at least an 8 on the looks scale, you can forget about online dating if you're a guy....

:club: Not all women are like that. Do I need to club you?

I'm with Eve here, not all women on dating sites are like that. I think there are some decent ones - but very few and thus, difficult to find perhaps.

"I've been looking at possibly starting up an online dating profile because I feel like this method gets rid of all the awkwardness because you'll know right then and there if a girl is attracted to you. And when I actually go on a real date, I wouldnt feel as nervous... "

Well, I think that would be a good idea especially since you can get a good idea of the person (at least some things) prior to actually meeting. In fact, doing the whole webcam/voice chat thing would be a good idea as well if things work out well, then I would imagine meeting in person wouldn't feel as scary. It's always good to have a plan for later on if you are wanting to date online. Not just dating online cause you can.

I think so too.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I've been looking at possibly starting up an online dating profile because I feel like this method gets rid of all the awkwardness because you'll know right then and there if a girl is attracted to you.

This is not true. I can never tell by looking at still pictures on the internet if I'm really attracted to someone. I have to have eyeball to eyeball contact with a guy in person and see him moving and hear him talking to feel any chemistry at all. This is the reason I don't date the guys that are on line. Plus the reality that I'm dealing with complete strangers on line I know nothing about scares me. The man who meets a woman in person, makes acquaintances with her, and builds enough trust to make her feel totally comfortable accepting a date has a far greater success rate than on line. I suggest you take dance classes. Zumba classes have lots of women.