People: Do You Hate Or Tolerate them?

[JustALonelyGuy]

This is a very hard issue that I am dealin with now. Although i do genuinely care for the disabled, young children, and elderly and those like me and us who have serious personal issues and mental illnesses/problems, I have problems with the people that are perceived as 'doing alright'.

You know the ones. The ones who walk around with the aura that they are all that matters and have thier 'heads in the sand'. Not saying hi, using manners and simply lacking respect for anyone but themselves. I work in retail so this is very hard for me to deal with. each day I am in work I switch from 'hating their guts' then realisin thats not the way personally for me, I just try to 'tolerate' them the best I can.

Is it too much bloody trouble for thes epeople to show some common courtesy? and not look at me like I am somethin off the bottom of your boot?

Can any of you relate to this?

Thank you for reading.

 

[Lost Drifter]

So isn’t that a case of disliking rude, self-absorbed, materialistic, arrogant (insert additional negative qualities here) people rather than all people in general? If so I think we’d all feel the same about them. Courtesy and manners cost nothing so I hate to see people ignoring them.

I don’t mind people doing alright providing they are humble about it, everyone is entitled to a little self-gratification and happiness (makes the world a better place). Though I find once people feel the need to boast, act aggressive or put down others (especially in this wealth obsessed, celebrity worshiping society we have created) to put themselves ahead my tolerance for them soon wears thin.

Oh and http://notalwaysright.com/

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

So isn’t that a case of disliking rude, self-absorbed, materialistic, arrogant (insert additional negative qualities here) people rather than all people in general? If so I think we’d all feel the same about them. Courtesy and manners cost nothing so I hate to see people ignoring them.

I don’t mind people doing alright providing they are humble about it, everyone is entitled to a little self-gratification and happiness (makes the world a better place). Though I find once people feel the need to boast, act aggressive or put down others (especially in this wealth obsessed, celebrity worshiping society we have created) to put themselves ahead my tolerance for them soon wears thin.

Oh and http://notalwaysright.com/

Thats exactly my point buddy. yes I dont mind a little self gratification aslogn as you show people courtesy manners and respect. I am also a tolerant guy who undersrtand people have 'thir days' but I personally ahve never been rude to people jsut because i ahvent ot my way. It simply isnt riht to take it out on other people thus leads to me feeling ill about them in the process. yes it really is a horrible world full of celebity and wealth obsessiveness and it really gets me down.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I completely agree, no-one has the right to be rude to others; I speak to customers at work and can’t fathom why some people think opening a conversation with “listen to me you f##king idiot” will get them a better service. If anything it makes me not want to help them.

But you see it all the time don’t you? The loud, aggressive customer in the shop will have the staff pandering to them while the quiet, polite customer gets ignored. You can spend hours waiting in line for something only to have some lout push in and get things first. Makes you wonder about fairness sometimes because as much as you hate it those rude people seem to get the better deal like some cancer on society.

Stick to you guns my friend, stay polite but stay firm too. No need to have to tolerate nonsense.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

Thats exactly my point buddy. yes I dont mind a little self gratification aslogn as you show people courtesy manners and respect. I am also a tolerant guy who undersrtand people have 'thir days' but I personally ahve never been rude to people jsut because i ahvent ot my way. It simply isnt riht to take it out on other people thus leads to me feeling ill about them in the process. yes it really is a horrible world full of celebity and wealth obsessiveness and it really gets me down.

But you see it all the time don’t you? The loud, aggressive customer in the shop will have the staff pandering to them while the quiet, polite customer gets ignored. You can spend hours waiting in line for something only to have some lout push in and get things first. Makes you wonder about fairness sometimes because as much as you hate it those rude people seem to get the better deal like some cancer on society.

I have a theory. You see this all the time, parents teaching their children "manners" without understanding the actual concept behind them. Manners are about kindness and fairness, but all too often, I've seen these people being outright rude to guests in their own home, just because they don't act the same ("please/thanks" is just a word, if you throw out guests for not saying it), or smell, or something. A person begging for a job so they don't have to be homeless (do they smell and look grubby? Heck, yes, because they haven't a way to shave/shower without easy access to a home with running water), and you turn them down for someone who looks presentable.

They beg and plead, and rather than treating such people because they're annoying (maybe if you helped them, they'd stop begging), people do the opposite and escort them out. This happens enough times, and the customer becomes loud and aggressive, because they've been genuinely hurt (I've seen this in hiring myself, being rejected all the time, and sometimes I genuinely feel like beating up the human resources people for being roadblocks to an actual interview). Both customers are valid.

What I do have genuine loathing for is not either type of customer, but the person in the position to help (the hirer, the employee, the bureaucrat) who isn't does nothing because he doesn't like the fact that "you're rude." Whether the customer is rude or kind the first time, I will guarantee they'll be alot more rude after you've made them wait when it's their job on the line if you're slow.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

I think working in the service industry is not a good position from which to judge humanity. I really feel like people just dehumanize you in order to "deal with you".... i.e. when they don't like company policy but really: there is nothing you can do or say that would satisfy them.

I once worked at a store in which people from my uni were the main customers (since we were on campus) and it just really surprised me how it didn't cross some of their minds that the person (me) they were acting bitchy to could be one of their students, their TA, or in their class.

When I feel invisible or dehumanized, I think it's ok that I feel angry about that, but I know that it's more about them than it is about me.

 

[painter's radio]

While I do agree with most of the OP, that lots of people are honeysuckle, I think it's also important to try not to hold other people up to your own standards, and get resentful when they don't have the same priorities as you. Sensitive, kind "nice" people can be the worst kind of people, sometimes. If you do or don't do something according to what their granny always told them to do in life then they can get very nasty. I'm just saying, I know it's hard, but watch out for it, and worry about your own behaviour, trying not to let someone's bad manners have so much control over you.

 

[Okiedokes]

I have a problem with close minded people who just don't understand certain things. My problem is I close down and avoid them.

 

[ThisSideOfTheRainbow]

Well, you better get used to the fact that there are always going to be ungrateful, ill mannered, and ignorant people out there who will ignore you or treat you like honeysuckle, especially in fields like customer service or retail. I've had plenty of cashier type jobs, and people can just be outright rude and disrespectful. It used to really grind my gears, and then I found the perfect solution to it. I would pretend that the counter I was standing at was a giant TV screen, and I was watching a cartoon. And all the characters would come in. And the ones who were rude or disgusting or ignorant I would just see as little clowns doing their little circus acts. These were mostly the one timers who would come into the store.

The regular customers, though, who would continue to be rude or ill mannered, well, that's where the fun would begin. I'm a psychology freak by nature, and I love to pick people's brains. So I would get all psychological on them, in a nice way, and get them to spill their beans and let go of some of their behavior. I actually had alot of luck doing that, and I managed to turn alot of people around and get them to act civilized just because I took the time to confront them about their attitude and even though I confronted them, I did it in a very polite and forgiving manner.

So that's my advice. Either see them like little cartoon characters so you can laugh it off and release any stress before it builds up, or do the braver thing: and confront them about their behavior. Always be polite, soft spoken, and show a ton of confidence. In fact, the more confidence you show, the less people will be that way around you. If you can put out a great vibration of higher consciousness, people will pick up on it. I had plenty of customers in the stores who absolutely loved me because they said I was always cheerful and never a grumpy clerk. The fact was, I had plenty of grumpy and frustrating moments, I just knew how to keep it for a specific time and place.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I've come to realize in the last year or so that I find myself becoming more amused by people and their antics or how seriously they take themselves. There's very few people I'd say I have hatred for and anybody I had that much of a dislike for I'd be avoiding anyway. Fortunately I don't have to deal with hordes of people on a daily basis and don't have much of an issue walking away from from someone who decides to try and burden me with their unwanted honeysuckle. I'm lucky enough to have possession of what's been described as a cold, expressionless look that kind of deters idle conversation when I'm not in the mood.

When I've seen customers acting like an ass to someone in a retail situation I don't really have a problem dropping a few sarcastic comments- it's kind of funny to see someone mid-rant about something trivial stop their whining. It drives them even crazier that any attempt to insult me is usually met with laughter as I honestly don't give a dam what opiniated, self-centred people think.

Guess we've all got to find what works for us.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I try to learn to tolerate people, lots of people are different and I understand that.. but once people get on their high horse I get very frustrated. Braggers and people who think their better than everyone gets to me. We all have our limits and everyone gets upset by different things. I try to reason with people, but once it gets out of hand, I tend to walk away.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

I tolerate people for the most part. It gets me through the day.

 

[Toby]

It bugs me when people treat me like the way you said LonelyGuy but it's just about trying to not let it bother you (which is easier said than done). Everyone has their reasons for acting the way they do and maybe alot of the arrogant type of people are just that way to hide their insecurity. Just focus on caring for the people that you do, you'll get alot more joy out of that.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I like some people, and dislike other people. That's pretty much the way it is.

 

[quintus]

I can't stand masses. Like in stadiums for example. I can't stand military parades where they make the guys walk in orderly lines. I can't stand the idea of manipulated masses. Especially emotionally manipulated. And people seem to be so easily manipulated.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

While I do agree with most of the OP, that lots of people are honeysuckle, I think it's also important to try not to hold other people up to your own standards, and get resentful when they don't have the same priorities as you. Sensitive, kind "nice" people can be the worst kind of people, sometimes. If you do or don't do something according to what their granny always told them to do in life then they can get very nasty. I'm just saying, I know it's hard, but watch out for it, and worry about your own behaviour, trying not to let someone's bad manners have so much control over you.

If this is the case, I think there needs to be a massive cultural redefine of what kindness is.

Kindness should be about helping those who ask for help. And asking if people need help who don't ask.

Kindness should have nothing to do with morality. If you are truly kind, you help even those looked upon as criminals.

Kindness should have nothing to do with politeness, for observing certain codes or action or speech actually boils down to dishonesty. Is it kind to string someone along that you aren't interested in, keeping them thinking that you love them? No, they will be crushed, more so because they were taken by the realization by surprise. Kindness going hand in hand with honesty, if it has any value to it, but not simply honesty also the willingness to help. "I am not interested in you at all. BUT I will help you find a date, job, whatever."

Also, there is the problem of how service/retail people are treated.

"The customer is always right" was never meant to be taken as a mandate. The customer is often wrong. When they are, you humor them, unless they demean you as a person. When they are wrong (violent and drunk, making sexual passes, stuff like that) you have the right to call security. It was intended to be a way to make customers feel special, not simple blind acceptance of the notion that customers know their business and servers are somehow less than human. The fact that the "always" is attached means an ego trip for the customer and an invitation for abuse/dehumanization for the employee.

 

[perfanoff]

Just have to love people who expect a red carpet for them every time they give up a dollar bill

 

[lusker]

I think most people are disappointing, either for their uninformed views, ignorant prejudices, or myopic self-centredness. I don't tolerate fools, bigots or ******** easily, and my failing is being unable to turn the other cheek. Even people I like, who I'd like as friends, can't warm to me completely because they are scared of what I'll say. I try to put myself in their shoes, and imagine working with a hypercritical workmate who challenges all my fondest, dumbest beliefs, and I guess it would be unsettling! So I've tried to let things slide a bit. People don't change, even if you prove them wrong: the just hate you. So the secret to making friends? Shut your mouth, smile a lot, keep your opinions to yourself, and be 'agreeable'. I'd rather choke in my own vomit, but there you have it.

 

[ucxb]

The “golden rule” is still a practice for me, having that concept implanted in me from my parents I will always treat others how I want to be treated, but having enough devastation from other’s decisions, actions… I tolerate people and with this new life, well, I get put off easily. Desensitizing is not a process I am willing to learn at this moment... No way would I be able to handle a service job nor am I social, so my people skills are not tested very often /whew

 

[ladyforsaken]

I have a high tolerance level for people and anything else.