Please advice me on what to do

[CrazyRed]

These days I can't help but walk around with a rainy cloud over my head. I know it's just a phase that people have to go through, but I want someone to talk to and I don't know where to turn. I feel stuck contained in a black box.

My parents are going through a bitter divorce. The cause is nothing that extreme, like adultery, merely a continual difference of opinion. I should know as a recently turned adult that this is normal, but seeing them fight on a day to day basis and talking bad about one another sears my heart. I've tried to direct my attention elsewhere, school for example, yet even when I've done decently at it, it's not something that people would go oohs and aahs. Maybe unconsciously or consciously I want to do well in school to divert their attention.

I also tried to do activities my close friend enjoys. Turns out since I am new to the task and have no idea of what is going on, she ignores me throughout the activity we do together, and when we returned home to our apartment she stays silent, angry at me.

I don't know what to do. I'm not one to like pessimism, but somehow I am one now. I truly hate myself and because of that I sometimes cry out of the blue. I'm sorry to burden you with my story, but I cannot turn to the people around me--not even my close friends--because I'm too embarrassed to say that I have a problem.

Please advice me on what to do.

 

[Unacceptance]

These days I can't help but walk around with a rainy cloud over my head. I know it's just a phase that people have to go through, but I want someone to talk to and I don't know where to turn. I feel stuck contained in a black box.

My parents are going through a bitter divorce. The cause is nothing that extreme, like adultery, merely a continual difference of opinion. I should know as a recently turned adult that this is normal, but seeing them fight on a day to day basis and talking bad about one another sears my heart. I've tried to direct my attention elsewhere, school for example, yet even when I've done decently at it, it's not something that people would go oohs and aahs. Maybe unconsciously or consciously I want to do well in school to divert their attention.

I also tried to do activities my close friend enjoys. Turns out since I am new to the task and have no idea of what is going on, she ignores me throughout the activity we do together, and when we returned home to our apartment she stays silent, angry at me.

I don't know what to do. I'm not one to like pessimism, but somehow I am one now. I truly hate myself and because of that I sometimes cry out of the blue. I'm sorry to burden you with my story, but I cannot turn to the people around me--not even my close friends--because I'm too embarrassed to say that I have a problem.

Please advice me on what to do.

Bury your head in a hobby. Their divorce is not over you, and you can't control how your friends act. Take something up that's productive.

 

[Bluey]

Hi CrazyRed, Welcome here

Don't be sorry for telling your story. Your not burdening anyone here.

Its difficult when parents fight. I think it makes ppl selfish when they fight as they don't seem to look at the damage that's being done to other loved ones that there not fighting with. The only thing I can say is try and not take there fighting to personally.

I know what you mean though. If I walk into a room where there is an atmosfear even if it has nothing to do with me and its obvious it has nothing to do with me I would still take it personally. I know its silly but I have always done this. I think me and maybe you have to learn that ppl well be in a bad mood sometimes even with you even when its not your fault. Easier said then done through.

Do you have your own place that you share with your friend? Its not that obverse from your post whether you live in an apartment with your family or just you and a friend. Also what activity do you do with your friend. If your not that good at it and your friend gets annoyed at you then I think she needs to learn to be a little moor chilled. have you told her that it bothers you the way she is. Maybe try talking to her about it? I don't know what kinder person she is but she might be surprised that she hurts you by being like she is.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm sorry that you're going through that.
Please try not to blame yourself.
I had a heck of a time consentrating when my parents went through a divorced.
yeah...I hard C.

Sometimes u felt like a pinball or a yo yo going back and forth between my parents.

 

[Rent412]

Do not say sorry! That's what this place is for. I've been feeling so lonely and depressed lately, I googled to see if there was a place where people felt the same, and I felt a bit of relief to find this site. At least I'm not alone! I know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry about the divorce. Did your feelings of emptiness begin before that or as a result of it? I know how you feel about talking to people. I'm lonely, but I'll still ignore my friends phone calls. Why do we do this to ourselves? Honestly, I felt weird talking to people too, so I decided I was finally going to see a doctor about my depression. Have you tried that yet? I was dropped from my parents insurance because I didn't register for classes which was a result of my depression & anxiety so now I cannot go to the doctor .. It's a nice cycle I've gotten myself into. I think talking to someone really is a good solution. Sometimes I feel like I just want someone to help me sort out my thoughts and why I'm feeling this way, but I have no one. You should go out with a group instead of just you and your friend. Even groups can feel so lonely though. I feel lonely when I'm not even in a room by myself. I know how hard it is, and I'm sorry you feel this way. There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, you have to take it upon yourself. I wish it were easier.