Please help..

[Arcane]

keep me company say anything i am in a state of panic, sorrow, and overall hopelessness.
my boyfriend of 3 years the eminent junkie just left me because he got tricked into losing a lot of money on drugs. its not the whole story but its the basis of it. he blames me for ever using drugs, blames me he lost money, and threatend that hes killing himself and also blamed me. he blocked me from everything and has left me here like this. i need to distract myself i feel like im dying.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I'm sorry that you are in such a state. You should not blame yourself for the failings and weaknesses of others.

As for him...

I was once told that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything.

So.

[ ]

 

[Arcane]

I'm sorry too.

 

[IgnoredOne]

He is clearly not healthy for you, so perhaps his absence is a good change in your life.

 

[Arcane]

perhaps but right now its impossible not to feel this way.

 

[IgnoredOne]

perhaps but right now its impossible not to feel this way.

This too shall pass.

 

[meekthoughts]

If he was your boyfriend for 3 years, I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you feel right now. But IgnoredOne is right, he doesn't sound like he's good for you. It's probably much more complicated than you described but no matter what, if he blames you like that, there's something to reconsider here. Even in bad times, nobody should be treated poorly the way you were. There's no rush in changing your feelings and thoughts though.

Just know that there are people here who care for your mental and physical well-being, so please don't go saying that you'd like to be killed. I wish I could really be there beside you and keep you company too, even if just in silence.

 

[shells]

He is going to come crawling back, I can almost guarantee it.

And he'll expect you to welcome him with open arms, because he knows you are vulnerable. He will take advantage of it as long as you allow it. If you accept him back into your life from this point, I also can promise it will get worse. Much worse.

If he does come back, you have to muster up the strength to stand your ground. From what you have told us, he sounds incredibly unstable. If he threatens to kill himself if you do not take him back, DO NOT fall for it. Hang up, ignore his calls (block them, even!). My ex of three years pulled that on me more than once. One time I tried to leave, he called me drunk and I could hear traffic in the background: Him saying he was going to throw himself in front of a car.

He's most likely going to come begging, pleading, crying, and utilize whatever else maybe in his arsenal for manipulation. He is mentally unwell and will continue to be that way so long as he is caught up with drugs.

I guess I am saying this all from experience. Experience I wish I didn't have. Everyone on this forum can tell you how this guy is bad news, but you have to see it for yourself... You have to be the one to put your foot down

I hope you do so before it gets worse... The good news? Life gets so much better once you get the toxic out of your life for good.

 

[Arcane]

i have always realized hes bad for me, realized i was stupid and weak for going along with him, but i always did try to help him. all i am worried about right now is what if he did kill himself? am i at fault? i cant believe he did all this...no i can believe it i just wish it wasnt true.

---

If he was your boyfriend for 3 years, I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you feel right now. But IgnoredOne is right, he doesn't sound like he's good for you. It's probably much more complicated than you described but no matter what, if he blames you like that, there's something to reconsider here. Even in bad times, nobody should be treated poorly the way you were. There's no rush in changing your feelings and thoughts though.

Just know that there are people here who care for your mental and physical well-being, so please don't go saying that you'd like to be killed. I wish I could really be there beside you and keep you company too, even if just in silence.

thank you , you're too kind. i wish i had anyone right now i am 100percent officially alone...at least with real life people to talk to..

 

[IgnoredOne]

No, you are not a fault. I believe that you may still have your parents to consult with, though this is an indirect inference.

 

[shells]

No, you wouldn't be at fault if he killed himself. At all. That's completely on him.

He's breaking you down like that to keep you vulnerable and weak. It's an abuse cycle.

You seem like a wonderful girl with a good head on your shoulders... Listen to your gut. Don't silence it or brush it off, because it's trying to warn you and keep you safe.

 

[silver birch leaves]

I'm terrible in distracting others, so I'll stay quiet and listen. I wish I could help though

 

[Kat]

Arcane...stop trying to save someone else from pain that you are not responsible for. This man is sick and has too many mental issues that you cannot save him from. He must do griefwork by himself and for himself. I feel that you and him are both using each other as a distraction for each other's own pain. Get the support you need on this forum or from counseling. Stop trying to fix or save this man. You can't. Save yourself.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You seem like a wonderful girl with a good head on your shoulders...

I agree. Shells has said the most wonderful, sensible things to you in this thread.

I like you arcane. Please like yourself enough to not put up with his abuse.

---

I will sit here and talk with you throughout today okay?

What've you been up to so far today? besides, the argument. What's the most recent Lovecraft story you've read or the most recent book?

*Pads on over to Arcane and flops down beside her*

 

[Ak5]

I wish I could tell you some secret formula to make it all go away in an instant. Unfortunately, there is none. Only time will make it heal.

Don't blame yourself for his actions. It's drugs, he's obviously going to blame someone else for his actions, and your his scapegoat. Get him into rehab!

 

[SophiaGrace]

Bah, don't get him into rehab. *curls her nose in disgust*

 

[Peter Lorre]

I'm sure it'll continue to hurt for quite some time, but after a while it does get better. Time does really heal (most of) your wounds.

Besides, you can do better than that guy!

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
Sorry to hear you're in pain. There's some good advice on this thread. We're here 24/7 even if you don't have anyone in person to talk to.
So what are you going to do? What will you say to him if and when he tries to come back? You'd probably be doing him a favor by keeping your distance. He'll never stop using as long as there's someone to back him up no matter what.

Teresa

 

[Doloreta]

Hi meekthoughts,
you are right, i am agree with you guys, and i think he is not able for her....

 

[Sci-Fi]

You're so much better off without him. He has problems which none of them are your fault. It was his decision to get into drugs, it was his decision to waste money on them, he made those choices for himself. For him to blame you is just a scapegoat because he's unable to truly place the blame where it belongs, which is on him.