Question: What would you do?

[MissLonely79]

Callie, if you knew how they treated their own dogs, you would understand better. Their dogs were kept in a house, in a very small room, where you hang your coat and shoes, I forget what the names of those rooms are, but they were kept in that room between the house and the garage. At least they were INSIDE the house, however, that's where they spent most of their lives. They were fed and watered but nothing else. My brother, his wife and the kids would go out of town a lot and those dogs were kept in there the entire time, in that small room all by themselves. They were left there during a flood and a hurricane while my brother and his family rented a cabin in the mountains to escape the hurricane. Yes they left their dogs there. When they bought their new house, my sis in law informed me since they didn't have extra rooom, that they were going to be left in the garage. That's where I drew the line. You have no idea the severe depression that has caused me. Thinking of those dogs being in that hot **** garage, they are elderly , pissed me the f**k off to no end. That is the first time I really stood up to her. I told her you put those dogs in the garage, it's gonna cause a huge problem and that's basically when she told me to f**k off. They didn't believe that I would stick to my guns this time and I did, and I will continue to do so. I have to. I have no choice. It bothers me so much that I can't even enjoy my niece and nephews. How anyone can be ok with that is beyond me. I literally can't.

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Callie, this is such a long convulted story, that's why I only say minimal because I don't want to overwhelm anyone with all this. I apologize. You're not saying anything wrong, so please don't think I am being difficult or disagreeing with you. You don't know the whole story so how can you possible know.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You're going to do what you're going to do.  Nothing wrong with that.  I just gave my opinion of it, you're free to take it or leave it...but, I know more than you think about toxic family and abuse/neglect.

 

[Drew]

Miss Lonely,

While I've never been in an abusive situation I have known several others that have been. Regardless of the encouragement my wife and I would give them, they never left those sitatutions. One of my friends finally broke off her relationship when her boyfriend pulled a loaded gun on her and pointed it at her head.

I would encourage you to leave the situation and maintain that distance. Talk to the kids, but don't ever get sucked in to babysitting for them again. Or if you do, it has to be your terms. (They come to your house, the kids get out of the car, your brother and sister-in-law stay in the car.) You would have to set firm limits. And then you would have to stay strong regardless of what they say. When I was getting divorced from my first wife, she would yell and berate me. One day I realized I no longer had to listen to it. The next time she did that, I told her I would hang up. She started yelling, I hung up. She called back and started to yell at me again, and I hung up. She never did it again.

This is my limited experience. This is my limited advice. =) Regardless, if you need to vent or talk or need a virtual hug, we are all here.

 

[MissLonely79]

Thank you so much you guys, you all really helped me.

 

[Serephina]

I normally give people a load of reasons why they should work things out and how they might be able to improve things,but yes I would sever the tie.