Questions for the Women

[WildernessWildChild]

Does a girl feel as flattered when complimented by a not-so-cute guy as when by a cute guy?

Isn't the correct answer that a compliment should be appreciated regardless of looks, gender, etc.? There's simply too much judging in todays world, and not enough complimenting, when I get one for anything I immediately feel very flattered as I'm placing the value on someone's thoughtfulness rather than their appearance.

This placing more value on looks than other more meaningful qualities is getting old really fast....

 

[painter's radio]

There isn't really a correct answer, as people are different and not everyone has to play the game of life by another's standards.

I don't think it's so black and white either. Is the compliment even genuine, in this theoretical scenario? What if someone is just using the compliment to get laid, when in reality they don't give two shits/know anything about the thing they're complimenting you on?

 

[Winterclaw]

I apologize if my question rubbed people the wrong way; not my intention.

Perhaps my question was poorly constructed as to what I really wanted to point out -- double standards in favor of 'good-looking' people.

For this intention, the better question would probably be 'If somebody tells you he likes you, would your reaction be the same regardless if you find him physically attractive or not?'

There was this incident in my workplace where 2 guys committed a mistake of basically the same magnitude. Then I observed that the female supervisor was more tolerant towards the 'good-looking' guy, and showed frustration when confronting the 'not-so-good-looking' lad. The latter is quite a nice guy, so I don't see any reason for the difference in treatment, which led me to wonder if people really do tend to give preferential treatment/positive reaction to good-looking people.

 

[kamya]

It would probably be better to just make a new thread about the incident, rather than asking a baited question and hoping for someone to reply with what you want to hear.

 

[painter's radio]

If one person does it, surely many more do too. I'd be willing to bet that there are a whole bunch of people who would do it but would never in a million years admit to it. And of course people who wouldn't do it at all... Though I'm sure these people would be flattered regardless of the appearance of the complimenter, I'm sure they'd be a bit more "wowed" by it if it was from their physically ideal dream woman.

But no, that's just being a bad human being, isn't it.

 

[VPrince]

I don't know if people asked this one before, sorry. I'd just like to know:

Where do I go to find the nice, pretty, ambitious girl who might be a little bit awkward (I kind of find that Zoey Deschanel vibe hot) and might be a little bit cynical? You know, someone to poke fun at and tease a little bit (in a playful sort of way).

Is there a place where girls like that congregate, because they won't be in a pub.

I just want to maximize the chances of meeting a girl doing something I love. If I were to characterize myself using only adjectives (and some adverbs) I am:

Intelligent, career-oriented, adventurous, slightly cynical, situationally humorous, VERY open-minded, fit (working on my 6-pack), fiscally prudent (only because I work so hard to get what I have), light-weight, artsy (as in I paint/doodle for fun)

So tell me gals, where can I find the kind of girl that might be into me? Let's say I live in a mid to large sized city.

 

[kamya]

Nowhere. People that perfect only exist in movies.

 

[jayme89]

If I'm thinking of a zooey deschanel type I would imagine her being in a locally owned coffee shop. kinda hipsterish. She's maybe a barista. Check out a museum tour/exhibit. I don't know if your museums have clubs/organizations but I know many do and the artsy people join them. Try theater groups/clubs/classes. Also any drawing or photography classes...they're home to pretty, awkward, cynical girls! Instead of a pub check out a lounge or hookah bar. I'm not into anime but I know some awkward girls are.

Apart from being pretty, I meet the characteristics you stated, but because I'm not pretty I never get hit on. But my peers in the same settings as me do, and these are the places we'd frequent so give them a try.

 

[VPrince]

If I'm thinking of a zooey deschanel type I would imagine her being in a locally owned coffee shop. kinda hipsterish. She's maybe a barista. Check out a museum tour/exhibit. I don't know if your museums have clubs/organizations but I know many do and the artsy people join them. Try theater groups/clubs/classes. Also any drawing or photography classes...they're home to pretty, awkward, cynical girls! Instead of a pub check out a lounge or hookah bar. I'm not into anime but I know some awkward girls are.

Yes, I was thinking of signing up for painting classes since learning to oil paint on my own is like trying to play twister on ice (I can do it, but it just ends up looking like abstract art). I'll see if there are any group sessions nearby.

Anime, hmmm? I used to watch one when I was younger, but I guess I just don't anymore. I wouldn't mind if she does though, but I'll probably draw the line at cosplay.

Apart from being pretty, I meet the characteristics you stated, but because I'm not pretty I never get hit on. But my peers in the same settings as me do, and these are the places we'd frequent so give them a try.

I'm sure you're pretty, but if guys aren't hitting on you maybe you can trying hitting on them. :club:
But thanks for the help, I'll give those places a try.

What is your opinion of a book club?

---

Nowhere. People that perfect only exist in movies.

I'm a cynic, but COME ON!! lol All I'm really asking for a little bit of love from a 6 or above, i'm not asking for a perfect girl. I think I'd actually be a bit turned off by them since it'd feel like we have nothing in common.

The only thing I'm afraid of going for artsy types is that I'd like if the girl had a decent job too, and I feel like the artsty type would be more unmotivated about her job.

UUGGHH!!! I wish I knew what I want!! It's so hard to sort out the traits I want to see in a potential mate. Maybe I'm just thinking too much and putting too much pressure on her.

 

[duff]

I sometimes have long conversations with women only for them to completely ignore me the next day.
Why ?

 

[VPrince]

I sometimes have long conversations with women only for them to completely ignore me the next day.
Why ?

How well are the conversations going? Is she laughing at your jokes? Are you being flirty with a sexual subtext or just friendly? Are you agreeing with her too much or do you have your own opinions about issues?

If you like her, maybe you can just casually sneak that in somehow. Talk about latest fashion and how downhill it's going and ask her what she likes to wear. Then maybe you can talk about what you think would look hot on her, then joke about it if she takes you seriously. In the end ask her if she wants to get something to eat. I don't know about you, but long conversations like this make me hungry.

I'm joking of course, but you should be able to tell what she thinks of you from how the conversation is going. Every girl is different so I don't think any one girl on here can tell you what exactly happened in that situation.

 

[jayme89]

[/quote]

I'm sure you're pretty, but if guys aren't hitting on you maybe you can trying hitting on them. :club:
But thanks for the help, I'll give those places a try.

What is your opinion of a book club?
[/quote]

I'm not one of those people who just says things, to say them or says things that aren't true for some one to tell me "i'm sure that's not true." I really am not pretty. I have an unsightly birth defect and am 100% repellent to men. Yeah I hit on a guy once, just by simply going up, smiling and saying "hi." He said "ewww" and walked away. Story of my life

Yes, book clubs are good to. I forgot to mention that. But be sure they're for younger people. Housewives and 50+ seem to be the main demographic of book clubs.

 

[Cavey]

I really am not pretty. I have an unsightly birth defect and am 100% repellent to men. Yeah I hit on a guy once, just by simply going up, smiling and saying "hi." He said "ewww" and walked away. Story of my life

I've not seen a picture of you, but I can guarantee that you are not 100% repellent to men. Different men find different things attractive and we're not all obsessed with appearance. What's inside is always more important to me than the packaging it comes in. I place far more emphasis on intelligence, kindness, caring, confidence etc.

I'm not saying this so I can appear like a great guy either - I'm not. I'll stop now anyway before I derail the thread...

P.S. The guy that said that to you is an *******.

 

[perfanoff]

^ I second everything said here.

 

[Edward W]

^ I second everything said here.

^ Thirded

 

[duff]

I sometimes have long conversations with women only for them to completely ignore me the next day.
Why ?

How well are the conversations going? Is she laughing at your jokes? Are you being flirty with a sexual subtext or just friendly? Are you agreeing with her too much or do you have your own opinions about issues?

If you like her, maybe you can just casually sneak that in somehow. Talk about latest fashion and how downhill it's going and ask her what she likes to wear. Then maybe you can talk about what you think would look hot on her, then joke about it if she takes you seriously. In the end ask her if she wants to get something to eat. I don't know about you, but long conversations like this make me hungry.

I'm joking of course, but you should be able to tell what she thinks of you from how the conversation is going. Every girl is different so I don't think any one girl on here can tell you what exactly happened in that situation.

i'm good at conversations.

The way I see it is: some people are too polite not to talk to a person who is talking to them. They won't walk away. They just nod and talk and more likely can't wait for the person to go away. I have seen men talk to women for ages and when the men goes, the woman laughs to her friends and says 'thank god he's gone'

It's probably happening with me. Or the conversation means nothing to the woman and five minutes later she has forgotten about it. So the next day there is no reason for her to talk to me !

 

[jzinsky]

I have an unsightly birth defect and am 100% repellent to men.

Surely it can't be that bad, I mean a HUNDRED% repellant means you've got a tumour for a head or something

 

[VPrince]

I sometimes have long conversations with women only for them to completely ignore me the next day.
Why ?

How well are the conversations going? Is she laughing at your jokes? Are you being flirty with a sexual subtext or just friendly? Are you agreeing with her too much or do you have your own opinions about issues?

If you like her, maybe you can just casually sneak that in somehow. Talk about latest fashion and how downhill it's going and ask her what she likes to wear. Then maybe you can talk about what you think would look hot on her, then joke about it if she takes you seriously. In the end ask her if she wants to get something to eat. I don't know about you, but long conversations like this make me hungry.

I'm joking of course, but you should be able to tell what she thinks of you from how the conversation is going. Every girl is different so I don't think any one girl on here can tell you what exactly happened in that situation.

i'm good at conversations.

The way I see it is: some people are too polite not to talk to a person who is talking to them. They won't walk away. They just nod and talk and more likely can't wait for the person to go away. I have seen men talk to women for ages and when the men goes, the woman laughs to her friends and says 'thank god he's gone'

It's probably happening with me. Or the conversation means nothing to the woman and five minutes later she has forgotten about it. So the next day there is no reason for her to talk to me !

I think the problem is you don't trust yourself enough to be interesting. Another thing is you have to be able to read who you are talking to. If the conversation seems kind of one sided (from your side), or she's constantly looking somewhere else, or you just get the feeling shes just not that into you. Move on. If she doesn't find you interesting its probably a sign that you guys aren't a good fit, so do yourself a favor and find someone you'd enjoy being with and who'd enjoy being with you.

I'm learning this lesson the hard way with job searching right now seeing as I have a less than stellar academic record and little work experience. For every 100 resumes you send out, you get 1 interview. Then you nail that interview. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Just suck it up, go for drinks, jack off, do whatever it takes to get chemically balanced after the rejection and get started sending out 100 more resumes--cuz like it or not you're back to square one.

I'm not really sure what I was trying to say there, I guess I just starting ranting about my problems..lol

The bottomline is not everyone is going to want you, so you just have to keep drudging on until you get to the light at the end of the tunnel. And don't worry if she does end of laughing after your conversation or not, only the stupid ones laugh (I know this from experience). If a girl rejects you for not being good enough, just think how messed up she'll be after some "alpha male" ******* is done with her. (is the cynic in me coming through? )

 

[duff]

I sometimes have long conversations with women only for them to completely ignore me the next day.
Why ?

How well are the conversations going? Is she laughing at your jokes? Are you being flirty with a sexual subtext or just friendly? Are you agreeing with her too much or do you have your own opinions about issues?

If you like her, maybe you can just casually sneak that in somehow. Talk about latest fashion and how downhill it's going and ask her what she likes to wear. Then maybe you can talk about what you think would look hot on her, then joke about it if she takes you seriously. In the end ask her if she wants to get something to eat. I don't know about you, but long conversations like this make me hungry.

I'm joking of course, but you should be able to tell what she thinks of you from how the conversation is going. Every girl is different so I don't think any one girl on here can tell you what exactly happened in that situation.

i'm good at conversations.

The way I see it is: some people are too polite not to talk to a person who is talking to them. They won't walk away. They just nod and talk and more likely can't wait for the person to go away. I have seen men talk to women for ages and when the men goes, the woman laughs to her friends and says 'thank god he's gone'

It's probably happening with me. Or the conversation means nothing to the woman and five minutes later she has forgotten about it. So the next day there is no reason for her to talk to me !

I think the problem is you don't trust yourself enough to be interesting. Another thing is you have to be able to read who you are talking to. If the conversation seems kind of one sided (from your side), or she's constantly looking somewhere else, or you just get the feeling shes just not that into you. Move on. If she doesn't find you interesting its probably a sign that you guys aren't a good fit, so do yourself a favor and find someone you'd enjoy being with and who'd enjoy being with you.

I'm learning this lesson the hard way with job searching right now seeing as I have a less than stellar academic record and little work experience. For every 100 resumes you send out, you get 1 interview. Then you nail that interview. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Just suck it up, go for drinks, jack off, do whatever it takes to get chemically balanced after the rejection and get started sending out 100 more resumes--cuz like it or not you're back to square one.

I'm not really sure what I was trying to say there, I guess I just starting ranting about my problems..lol

The bottomline is not everyone is going to want you, so you just have to keep drudging on until you get to the light at the end of the tunnel. And don't worry if she does end of laughing after your conversation or not, only the stupid ones laugh (I know this from experience). If a girl rejects you for not being good enough, just think how messed up she'll be after some "alpha male" ******* is done with her. (is the cynic in me coming through? )

yes your probably right but I have seen some women smile, laugh and talk back to men before calling fresia out of them when they go.

Some women are better to talk to than others. I work as a cashier so I am good at judging whether someone is easy to talk to or not.

I am so different at work. I talk non stop. But away from work I am very quiet. I think when I'm at work, I have my work clothes on so people notice me. I am a 'somebody' - away from work I just don't get noticed. I am a 'nobody'

I am actually very good at talking and conversation. I just don't get the chance !

 

[VPrince]

I sometimes have long conversations with women only for them to completely ignore me the next day.
Why ?

How well are the conversations going? Is she laughing at your jokes? Are you being flirty with a sexual subtext or just friendly? Are you agreeing with her too much or do you have your own opinions about issues?

If you like her, maybe you can just casually sneak that in somehow. Talk about latest fashion and how downhill it's going and ask her what she likes to wear. Then maybe you can talk about what you think would look hot on her, then joke about it if she takes you seriously. In the end ask her if she wants to get something to eat. I don't know about you, but long conversations like this make me hungry.

I'm joking of course, but you should be able to tell what she thinks of you from how the conversation is going. Every girl is different so I don't think any one girl on here can tell you what exactly happened in that situation.

i'm good at conversations.

The way I see it is: some people are too polite not to talk to a person who is talking to them. They won't walk away. They just nod and talk and more likely can't wait for the person to go away. I have seen men talk to women for ages and when the men goes, the woman laughs to her friends and says 'thank god he's gone'

It's probably happening with me. Or the conversation means nothing to the woman and five minutes later she has forgotten about it. So the next day there is no reason for her to talk to me !

I think the problem is you don't trust yourself enough to be interesting. Another thing is you have to be able to read who you are talking to. If the conversation seems kind of one sided (from your side), or she's constantly looking somewhere else, or you just get the feeling shes just not that into you. Move on. If she doesn't find you interesting its probably a sign that you guys aren't a good fit, so do yourself a favor and find someone you'd enjoy being with and who'd enjoy being with you.

I'm learning this lesson the hard way with job searching right now seeing as I have a less than stellar academic record and little work experience. For every 100 resumes you send out, you get 1 interview. Then you nail that interview. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Just suck it up, go for drinks, jack off, do whatever it takes to get chemically balanced after the rejection and get started sending out 100 more resumes--cuz like it or not you're back to square one.

I'm not really sure what I was trying to say there, I guess I just starting ranting about my problems..lol

The bottomline is not everyone is going to want you, so you just have to keep drudging on until you get to the light at the end of the tunnel. And don't worry if she does end of laughing after your conversation or not, only the stupid ones laugh (I know this from experience). If a girl rejects you for not being good enough, just think how messed up she'll be after some "alpha male" ******* is done with her. (is the cynic in me coming through? )

yes your probably right but I have seen some women smile, laugh and talk back to men before calling fresia out of them when they go.

Some women are better to talk to than others. I work as a cashier so I am good at judging whether someone is easy to talk to or not.

I am so different at work. I talk non stop. But away from work I am very quiet. I think when I'm at work, I have my work clothes on so people notice me. I am a 'somebody' - away from work I just don't get noticed. I am a 'nobody'

I am actually very good at talking and conversation. I just don't get the chance !

Someone here suggested taking up a hobby if I wanted to meet girls, and it makes sense. Personally I don't want to meet someone in a weird and creepy way. I feel no matter how good our conversation was, if there is no chance for us to meet again then neither of us really have a reason to think of the other as nothing more than a nice person. You see what I'm saying? You just need to find a way for people to see you differently, and showing off your talents is probably the best way to woo someone.

What are you good at or interested in doing?