rejected for 30 years has bred extreme low self esteem

[AFrozenSoul]

These are always fun to read. This one has a good mix of people agreeing with the OP and females completely disagreeing with the OP.

 

[Despicable Me]

why are so many other men better than me?

The better question is why you think they are better than you.

why are all these women so cruel and rude?

There are many ways to become a screwed up person in this world, so obviously there are many screwed up people.
In other words: You're just meeting the wrong women.

how can anyone have confidence in themselves when you're laughed at, or verbally put down, publicly humiliated...?

By becoming and being a strong person, that's how.
By moving on from the problems in the world and the bad things you have to face and by overcoming these things and growing as a person and not letting any things like this keep you down.

That's how.

at my age now i dont see myself ever being with anyone because IM NOT worthy...

Why aren't you "worthy"?
Obviously that's just low self esteem talking. You are "worth" just as much as any other guy. Your only problem is that you're allowing low self esteem to keep you down, allow it to make you negative, and giving up on people and the world.

every lady i speak to has something WRONG to say about me...

So what? Does that mean you should give up? Is that what you want?

and dont give me, you havent met the right one yet, bullshit... cause that is exactly what it is...

Alright, then I'll tell you that you do have something wrong with you: Your self esteem. You're being extremely negative, of course women aren't going to like that.
And yeah maybe you've went through a lot of rejection and that makes you negative, but so what? Who hasn't went through some rejection in their life? What a boring person that would be! Why let this make you negative when you can take it as an experience, accept it as part of yourself, and move on with your life to become a better person in the end?
Yeah, maybe you're getting older. Maybe that's a lot of rejection. That just means you have had a lot of experience and maybe you can learn from all that experience, possibly even teach others who have less who might also need that advice.
Why dwell on the past when you still have a future ahead of you? You aren't dead yet, are you? You still have a future. Why not look forward? Why are you even looking back? What purpose does it have?

this world is based on looks, money and power... NOTHING MORE...

Politically, yes that's true.
Socially, that's somewhat true. Society is guided by politics.

Individually? That's not even slightly true.
Love has proven to ignore appearances, proven to ignore money, and proven to ignore power. So what truth is left for your little generalization? There is none. It is just that - a generalization.

Some people are guided by politics and society and maybe they are personally superficial, looking only at looks, money, and power, but that's just some people, not all of them.

You don't want to hear you just haven't found the right person? Sure, then I'll tell you the truth - Your aren't even really looking for that kind of person. At least not now. You've obviously given up.
You say you aren't worth it? You're not worth it because you gave up.
You say there is something wrong with you? Yeah, your self esteem. You gave up and just accept what other people tell you.
You say that the world works by going by looks, money, and power? So how often do you do this yourself? If you think the whole world does it then you do it, too, right?
Unless you don't include yourself. In which case, you admit there are people who care about other things. So you don't want to hear that there are people like that? Sure, then just figure it out yourself.

If you realize you do include yourself - then maybe that's your problem, eh? Easy enough to just stop.

my social anxiety disorder is what keeps me hidden indoors all the time, the thought of being around strangers really makes my body sick inside. its not just a weird feeling, its a actual sickness i get and then i need to get away from that situation or else... so i dont know how i will be able to be around people... sorry but my brain isnt wired like everyone else and i am not going to lose my bowels just so i can say, HEY... i did it...

Sounds to me like you're not the one being rejected if you just run away from situations just so you can feel better. You're the one doing the rejection. You're rejecting the whole world, it sounds like to me.

Maybe you do have a serious problem with anxiety but anxiety is known to be related to mentality and mindset and it's known that people can overcome it.

How long has it been like this? Obviously if you've had it forever then how can you say you've been rejected for 30 years if you can't even stand being around people? If possible get some medication for this and it might help you deal with it so you can break the cycle.

If it's developed from the rejection over time, then obviously you must see and accept that you can change it back, that it's all up to you. That you allowed it to get this way yourself. So who is responsible for it but you?
All you have to do is overcome it now and keep going. Move on, reduce the negativity, look at the positive, and just enjoy life and what you do have.

And who knows? Maybe the new you will find someone, because people like positive, strong-willed people who can overcome hardships.

Stay positive.

 

[LordofLosers]

These are always fun to read. This one has a good mix of people agreeing with the OP and females completely disagreeing with the OP.

this here is a prime example of a classless troll who likes to put others down...

 

[Triple Bogey]

im not able to work cause im on disability, but i am attending a trade school in the fall for auto mechanics so i can get a real job... my social anxiety disorder is what keeps me hidden indoors all the time, the thought of being around strangers really makes my body sick inside. its not just a weird feeling, its a actual sickness i get and then i need to get away from that situation or else... so i dont know how i will be able to be around people... sorry but my brain isnt wired like everyone else and i am not going to lose my bowels just so i can say, HEY... i did it...

well at least you are going to the school. Small steps in the right directions will make you feel better or meeting other shy people.

 

[Despicable Me]

im not able to work cause im on disability, but i am attending a trade school in the fall for auto mechanics so i can get a real job... my social anxiety disorder is what keeps me hidden indoors all the time, the thought of being around strangers really makes my body sick inside. its not just a weird feeling, its a actual sickness i get and then i need to get away from that situation or else... so i dont know how i will be able to be around people... sorry but my brain isnt wired like everyone else and i am not going to lose my bowels just so i can say, HEY... i did it...

well at least you are going to the school. Small steps in the right directions will make you feel better or meeting other shy people.

I completely agree.
I didn't realize this until it was too late, but of all the times of my life I have actually felt the most comfortable when I was in college, learning to do what I like to do with other people who like to do the same thing.

It was great... and if I ever have the time or money I'd like to go back someday, even if I do end up being the 'old guy' in class.

 

[lei]

it happens both ways.... do guys go for the average or below average girll? not always. they are worshipping the beautiful women.

it's just the way of the world

 

[Rainbows]

it happens both ways.... do guys go for the average or below average girll? not always. they are worshipping the beautiful women.

it's just the way of the world

!

Exactly. The amount of times I have been rejected because I am not pretty enough..

 

[LordofLosers]

it happens both ways.... do guys go for the average or below average girll? not always. they are worshipping the beautiful women.

it's just the way of the world

some of us lower our standards and it still doesnt matter... so now explain to me why that is?

 

[Triple Bogey]

it happens both ways.... do guys go for the average or below average girll? not always. they are worshipping the beautiful women.

it's just the way of the world

I always went for women I found attractive and interesting.

 

[LordofLosers]

why has society "brainwashed" everyone into thinking the "outside" matters?

 

[SofiasMami]

why has society "brainwashed" everyone into thinking the "outside" matters?

Sure, looks matter. But only to a certain point. How else would you explain Danny DeVito being rich and famous?

Looks are a quick and easy way to judge someone. We all do it, to the opposite gender and to those of our own gender. But so what? It's not brain-washing by society; we are hard-wired to consider looks.

There are a number of handsome men and beautiful women on this forum. Wouldn't they be less lonely and more happy since they have won the genetic lottery? I guess not.

I suppose when you are satisfied with your own looks, these types of questions won't bother you as much.

-Teresa

 

[BeyondShy]

I suppose when you are satisfied with your own looks, these types of questions won't bother you as much.

You know what?? No, I better not. It's not worth it.

 

[ABrokenMan]

As someone who has been rejected ad nauseum for 30+ years (jobs, positions, girls/relationships) I've sorta accepted that outcome before I even start to approach a new venture. It makes it so very difficult to proceed, and many times I cannot muster up enough moxie to try. I suppose in the future, I'll get fed up enough where I will head for life's self checkout line.

There will always be a percentage of human beings like this, who never succeed and fail at every turn, and end up lonely. Just like there will always be those who take advantage of others, and those who always find themselves in a relationship without having to exert any effort, or be financially well off to allow for potential happiness.

 

[HoodedMonk]

As someone who has been rejected ad nauseum for 30+ years (jobs, positions, girls/relationships) I've sorta accepted that outcome before I even start to approach a new venture. It makes it so very difficult to proceed, and many times I cannot muster up enough moxie to try. I suppose in the future, I'll get fed up enough where I will head for life's self checkout line.

There will always be a percentage of human beings like this, who never succeed and fail at every turn, and end up lonely. Just like there will always be those who take advantage of others, and those who always find themselves in a relationship without having to exert any effort, or be financially well off to allow for potential happiness.

(hugs)

 

[VanillaCreme]

That's kind of sad to know people actually truly believe in this.

I agree with you. But I have seen it over and over.

I'm sure many of us have. I know I have. But being a common occurrence doesn't mean everyone thinks that way. Too many people accept common for normal instead of thinking on their own.

 

[LordofLosers]

i could love myself to no end, doesnt mean ill meet anyone...

 

[HoodedMonk]

i could love myself to no end, doesnt mean ill meet anyone...

Might make you less miserable though if you did.

 

[BeyondShy]

That's kind of sad to know people actually truly believe in this.

I agree with you. But I have seen it over and over.

I'm sure many of us have. I know I have. But being a common occurrence doesn't mean everyone thinks that way. Too many people accept common for normal instead of thinking on their own.

I'm sorry, but everyone thinks that way.That's why people are so alone.

 

[Rainbows]

That's kind of sad to know people actually truly believe in this.

I agree with you. But I have seen it over and over.

I'm sure many of us have. I know I have. But being a common occurrence doesn't mean everyone thinks that way. Too many people accept common for normal instead of thinking on their own.

I'm sorry, but everyone thinks that way.That's why people are so alone.

Maybe if you changed your mindset about this, you wouldn't be alone.
No offense, but if you say to a woman to you just met: "You're going to run off with a more handsome guy because all you care about is looks", I doubt they will stay.

EVERYONE is a huge generalisation, now isn't it?

 

[Batman55]

I'm sorry, but everyone thinks that way.That's why people are so alone.

Complete nonsense.