Relating to people your own age

[one lonely guy]

I can't. I'm 50ish.

My (few) best and most meaningful connections have always come with people quite a bit younger or older.

The younger are fresh and idealistic (though not always realistic).

The old are philosophical.

Those my age are usually materialistic working stiffs (I'm early-retired) with no values, or time (for me anyway). Bogged down with their mortgage, work and family responsibilies, they seem to lead a superficial existence I can't relate to.

Obviously I'm generalizing, but that's how it's worked out for me.
olg

 

[istari]

I think meaningful connections are hard to come by for most people. I`m desperately trying to climb out of the rut i`ve got myself into, and that involves trying to make new friends. It`s hard, but i`m not gonna let it beat me! Neither should you!!! You HAVE to keep trying, i mean, what`s the alternative...

 

[jasmin]

I like your positive attitude istari, I'm in a rut as well. You have keep trying if you want to make real connections to people. I think we percieve other peoples connections to their 'friends' as being deeper than they are. I think if you're lonely you tend to view other people as having what you want/lack. That made no sense. lol. sorry...

 

[istari]

It made sense... just lol! It`s too easy to lie back and just accept things the way they are. All i want to do is lie on my bed and be left alone. Except, that`s the problem. I really don`t want to be on my own. It`s all very confusing! I`m doing my f*****g BEST not to let it beat me. I`m aware others have it much worse than me, but you Jasmin, and one lonely guy, DON`T give in! Occasionally, life throws something new and exciting, and i`m gonna be there to catch it!

 

[jasmin]

I won't give in...not yet anyway, I feel too young. I'll give in when I'm 80...and become a hermit.

Seriosuly, you're right, life gives the best things when you least expect them.

 

[Bluey]

one lonely guy, We seem to have a lot in common. Most of the ppl I go out with are my two cousins and there friends. There like 10 years younger then me. I was out last night with my own friends that I go way back with. Well, you sew my reply to your other thread where I say how that went. I agree with your post here that mostly ppl my age are just very materialistic. Some other ppl I get on with are 10 years older then me. But with them there not always that up for doing other stuff but making a cup of tea when you go round. All though I can have much moor enjoyable conversations with my older friends. I have fun with my younger friends but they have way moor energy then I do and well play a game of cards tell 6am when am normally ready for bed way be for midnight lol

What I need is someone with my mental capacity (To be on the same level with) But also the same energy. Age has never really meant anything to me. But ye thinking about it your post is right for me as well.

 

[Caesium]

It's not just people your age that can't relate to people their own age. I can't either, and I'm still in my teens. Most of the people that are my age are just into smoking, drinking, and partying. They're generally not very nice people. Besides, they all have their own little groups of friends now, and very few of them want to hang out with someone as boring and nerdish as me But having no friends is better than having bad friends I suppose. Maybe things will get better once I finish school.

 

[Unacceptance]

I haven't related to people my own age since like, 10.

 

[Oceanmist23]

Most of the people that are my age are just into smoking, drinking, and partying.

That's how it was for me when I was a teenager too.
It STILL is now that I'm 24, but with the added problem that most girls my age,
at least where I live, are ready to pop out their first or second child!
And that is something I seriously can not relate to, nor will I ever relate to it.
As soon as a friend pops out a kid the friendship is never the same.
I want to talk about music, movies, travel, food, fashion, people, politics, culture etc.
They want to talk about babies, diapers, toys, poo, pee, potties, breastfeeding, stretch marks etc.

Relate? I think not...
*Sigh*

 

[gustafsg]

yeah I can't relate to college-aged people..I relate much better to young children, or anyone at least 10 years older.

 

[one lonely guy]

Some other ppl I get on with are 10 years older then me. But with them there not always that up for doing other stuff but making a cup of tea when you go round. All though I can have much moor enjoyable conversations with my older friends. I have fun with my younger friends but they have way moor energy then I do...

Ultimately it's not really age, I guess.
It's the meaningfulness of the connection in terms of common values, activities/interests, or some other major kinship issue.
It's just that that connection has rarely come into play between myself and those my age. In fact, most same-age friendships have been irritating.

Friends with whom you can't find meaningfulness in the relationship might just as well be 'any warm body' that consumes your valuable time. TV can do that for me - at least I can switch channels (which you can't do with many people)

Thanks for all the replies.
olg

 

[Bluey]

Friends with whom you can't find meaningfulness in the relationship might just as well be 'any warm body' that consumes your valuable time. TV can do that for me - at least I can switch channels (which you can't do with many people)

Hah, so true.

Actually I used to have one friend that would come round to see me and he would ignore me why watching my TV.

I asked him once what is the point of going to see a friend if all you do is ignore them. You might has well stay home and watch the TV. He said he wasn't ignoring me, he was just watching the program that was on,,,,Errrr. I mean I was like what-ever.

 

[DixieDarlin]

I'm in my early 20's and I don't really get people my own age. They're so....immature. All they wanna do is talk about partying and manicures and "getting some". I get along with older people much better, like mid-30s and up, not necessarily nursing home age folks

 

[eh?]

I'm in my early 20's and I don't really get people my own age. They're so....immature. All they wanna do is talk about partying and manicures and "getting some". I get along with older people much better, like mid-30s and up, not necessarily nursing home age folks

I am pretty much the same way. I am 24 and most of the people I attract are the older folk from 35-45. I don't do the whole "lets party and get drunk" and that whole scene.

 

[DixieDarlin]

I'm in my early 20's and I don't really get people my own age. They're so....immature. All they wanna do is talk about partying and manicures and "getting some". I get along with older people much better, like mid-30s and up, not necessarily nursing home age folks

I am pretty much the same way. I am 24 and most of the people I attract are the older folk from 35-45. I don't do the whole "lets party and get drunk" and that whole scene.

me neither! i was the one that my roommate would always call to come pick her up 'cause she didn't have a car...and even if she did, she'd have been too drunk to drive anyway. It was so annoying being a "taxi driver" all through college. At least she'd pay for gas though.

 

[one lonely guy]

I'm in my early 20's and I don't really get people my own age. They're so....immature. All they wanna do is talk about partying and manicures and "getting some". I get along with older people much better, like mid-30s and up, not necessarily nursing home age folks

It's so nice to hear from you all. I have a very good friend (only) in her 20s (and I'm way over that). We met through a support group, so we know pretty much everything about each other. She said exactly what you said, though she does have young friends too.

It's not really about age, but where you're coming from, who you are, and where you're going.
olg

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I thought 40's was a new 20....mmm you're 50 , that makes you 30ish

I think I was actaully going through middle crises for reals this time...lol
Yes..that how it was too...I either hung around people younger or much older than myself
when I was in my 20's or 30's.

I actaully became one of those stiffs...yeap raising a family and being a provider was a lot
of responsibilities and added stress. I had to kissed a lot of asses and keep my mouth shut.
The well-being of my family was on the line...my boss knew that...it was a messed up deal.
Plus the added bonus of trying to deal with a teenager the declair himself king...in my god
**** kingdom...lol Oneday I thought I was going to have a heart attack sitting in my office.
It kind of woke me up. Slave to the fucken grind all the way around...I messed the honeysuckle out
of GF every **** night...to release tension....I became a slave to that too..lmao

Okay..the kids are all grown-up, now.
And after all that honeysuckle...I'm single again.

errr...my duaghter is almost 21...i hope she dosn't run into zak...lmao

I got clean and sober @22, when most people where out partying as hard as they can.
I raised my family clean and sober...I imagine, I matured in many ways
and became a responsible adult. When i first got clean and sober...i felt like a 15 year old
kid trapped in an adult's body and the responsiblities of an adult. It was stressful in many ways.
Drugs and alcohol abuse had stun my mental and emotional growth. As the years gone by I've
matured. It took almost 3 years for me to be able to feel okay in my own skin.
A lot of people has a mis-conception of what a alcoholic or addict is...
I partied alot...but for the most part I was doing exactly the samething everyone else was doing.
I wasn't a whino or a hype you imagine in a dark alley...I had a very well paying job.
What im saying is...people drink and use alot more drugs than I ever will and don't consider themselves addicts.
I just couldn't live that life style anymore....I rather be a freaken stiff....lmao

Seriously...I don't take myself too serious. It's a part of my recovery.
I guess i have a reputation of being immature or the conception is that I'm childish by some members of All.lmao
Crap like that dosn't bother me...I raised a smartass teenager remember...
Someone said I was voted the horniest mother-Fker on earth...Right On...

Yes...I see a lot of stiffs...and a lot of young people thinking they're the honeysuckle and have all the answers.
The most they can do is say that I'm childish....(NO honeysuckle sherloc holmes...lmao) as a put down.
Those poor souls...I mean ignorant sob....lol
I invented that honeysuckle and filed a patend on it many, many years ago...lmao

 

[one lonely guy]

I thought 40's was a new 20....mmm you're 50 , that makes you 30ish

Thanks for that Honestly, I feel 38ish, though not always when I check the mirror first thing in the AM.

My life, long as it is, is significantly more boring than yours sounds.

 

[jasmin]

Does anyone else find that the more time you spend alone the more damaged your confidence gets, which makes it harder to talk to people. Kinda like a cycle of loneliness.

 

[Caesium]

Does anyone else find that the more time you spend alone the more damaged your confidence gets, which makes it harder to talk to people. Kinda like a cycle of loneliness.

Yes