Restless soul

[Restless soul]

First off let me start by saying I was browsing the threads on here for some time. And the advice and feedback I see from some if the members have been very insightful, helpful and informative. I wasn't even sure which topic to post but since the forum topics are so closely intertwined with the theme of loneliness I figured I would pick this main one.

So what brought me here. Well..relationship cut short
And that cut deep. And that woke me up to a sad reality. My story is not unique in anyway. Don't even want to get into that much detail would be too long-winded. Basicly I was shut out of someones life that I wanted to be with. Spend more time with. And develop something more meaningful with. And it's been a long time since I felt that way about someone. And becoming persona non grata so quick with someone you were just spending some real intimate moments with does something to you. It brought my Depression. Isolation. Low-self esteem to the forefront and made it ten fold worse. I hate to blame the timing of the year start of summer as being the worst time. But yeah, that plays a part as well. She was even a bit rude and threatening after for some reason after I tried to reestablished communication. That was very confusing and damaging. And yet, I still try reaching out to her after all that trying to hold on to some hope. But its been a futile attempt each time. Not sure what else I can add without making this ten pages. But it would be great to hear any feedback, suggestions. Questions.

Thanks

 

[handheart]

Well i know its paintful for you but in this life you never must be dependent on only one person because it can hurt you when world its yours.You must wake up from the ground and leave negtiity zone because you will lose more confident in this way .You can search for someone else or arange your thoughts a whyle and decide what you will do with your life .Complaing all day about this bad situation it will not get you nowhere

 

[Restless soul]

Hey thanks for the reply hand. Really messed with me big time. My brother tells me the same thing about not complaining. but I just can't seem to shake the lonley and desperate feelings. Its like so many other posts on this site. Truth Is I always been in a comfortably numb state of loneliness for years. But then meeting someone after so long and not expecting to get feelings for them and then gettint that taken away. I do not know how to deal.
Feel like a lost and restless soul. It's terrible .
Question is am I feeling this way in such an extreme case because i was depressed before? Anxious before? A little ocd before? I need some help..

And all the info you get online about ex girlfriends and
Not conacting them for 30 days reallys gives you a sense of false hope. And that would have been nearly immposible for me to go 30 days without trying to reach out. Let alone 3 days! But it's been very damaging to text and not get a reply back in so long. Having someone shut you out like that can eat you up from the inside. Never understanding why. But i am just rambling a bit now. I feel like i am in jail of my own mind. This site is the right place to vent and ramble about this. Hope I can hear back from some others.

 

[Serephina]

There isn't a lot you can do other than concentrate on you. Maybe make a list of things that you would like to do,go to the gym,join a meet up group,socialise,get some hobbies,travel,whatever it is that you're in to.

 

[VanillaCreme]

She was even a bit rude and threatening after for some reason after I tried to reestablished communication. That was very confusing and damaging. And yet, I still try reaching out to her after all that trying to hold on to some hope. But its been a futile attempt each time.

That's a bit harsh of her to do, but take it for what it's worth. She's not lying to you or giving you false hopes. She's making it clear how she feels, so take it for face value. At this moment, she doesn't want any contact with you. That may change down the line, or it may not. But if it doesn't change, there's probably nothing you can do to change it. We can't decide how people feel. We can only control ourselves, how we feel and how we respond to things.

It might be harsh, but she's allowed to react that way. I wouldn't try and push any communications with her when she clearly doesn't want any. Reaching out to her will only make the situation slap down on you even more, whether it's her getting an attitude with you again or ignoring you altogether. Don't do that to yourself. I've had that pain of something not working out, too, but I believe things happen for a reason. Who knows, maybe something greater will come of it.

 

[Restless soul]

She was even a bit rude and threatening after for some reason after I tried to reestablished communication. That was very confusing and damaging. And yet, I still try reaching out to her after all that trying to hold on to some hope. But its been a futile attempt each time.

That's a bit harsh of her to do, but take it for what it's worth. She's not lying to you or giving you false hopes. She's making it clear how she feels, so take it for face value. At this moment, she doesn't want any contact with you. That may change down the line, or it may not. But if it doesn't change, there's probably nothing you can do to change it. We can't decide how people feel. We can only control ourselves, how we feel and how we respond to things.

It might be harsh, but she's allowed to react that way. I wouldn't try and push any communications with her when she clearly doesn't want any. Reaching out to her will only make the situation slap down on you even more, whether it's her getting an attitude with you again or ignoring you altogether. Don't do that to yourself. I've had that pain of something not working out, too, but I believe things happen for a reason. Who knows, maybe something greater will come of it.

Funny You should reply when you did vanilla.
My sexual frustration has been through the roof and that
And I have some weird fetishes I like never told her about.
Would it be nuts? To text her with a question about that as like a desperate attempt for a reply? Had the urge like asking her if she ever did so and so to a guy? All my texts to her prior have been more along the lines of how i miss her and all?? Stupid move? Or worth a shot?

 

[Restless soul]

Tempted to do it. Would that be out of line?
Because now im wondering if she has a sexual dominant. Side where she is into abusing men physically? And im kinda into that. Would that be weird to ask? Regardless of whether or not she has been responding??

Feels like such a lose lose situation. I don't know. The sexual impulsive part of me says to throw it out there

In the hopes she might be into that stuff

What im saying all my texts up until this point have been minda lame and whiney. What I changed the theme. I mean the stuff im asking if she is into would be things i would rather her do. Than someone else?

 

[Restless soul]

Someone better reply soon before i do it. I have a reason for my thinking. As perverse as it is. That with zero self control. You tell me?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't know if contacting her at all is good. You continue to text someone who obviously doesn't want your attention, and it could be considered harassment. Personally, I wouldn't do it, just because it's been made clear she doesn't want your attention. Unless she tells you otherwise, I wouldn't bother with talking to her anymore.

 

[Restless soul]

I know. I know. It's true. But i just can't stop!!
I try thinking there is some hope.

 

[Restless soul]

Too late. Vanilla. I txted. I am sorry for being a believer in the saying " there is no time like the present "

 

[VanillaCreme]

I try thinking there is some hope.

From what you've told, she's not giving you any hope though. It doesn't bother me either way. If an ex were sending me text messages, of any sort, I'd be quick to ignore him, especially if he were irritating me. I have no idea how your ex truly feels. She may get a kick out of still getting the attention from you.

 

[Restless soul]

I try thinking there is some hope.

From what you've told, she's not giving you any hope though. It doesn't bother me either way. If an ex were sending me text messages, of any sort, I'd be quick to ignore him, especially if he were irritating me. I have no idea how your ex truly feels. She may get a kick out of still getting the attention from you.

Maybe. But I suffer from too much information from the web regarding texting. And a self- destructive streak. I already past the point of no return. Maybe if i waited 3 weeks and didnt text her up until this point. But even if i had that chance I would foul up big time....so?

So..you would ignore an ex? Ok. Every situation is different. Are you a female i assume? What if your ex did no contact after a break up for 30 days. Would that have made a diffrence in thr world? Call me impulsive. Ocd. Add. But no matter how stable I felt. I don't think not texting or reaching out is bad. Calling maybe more if a nuisance. But a text a day? Or 2?

 

[Restless soul]

I got plenty of advice. And know plenty on my own.
This happened 3 weeks ago almost where she said she was not into me. Pretty much. And and these 3 weeks i been a mess. All over the place. Emotionally. Sexually crazed. Tense. And that is of course why i tried to work things out. I know my history. This was the first relationship i had in many years and wasnt bad. Just ended akward. But it balanced me out in so many ways.

A part of me says to say, fresia it.who cares find someone new. And a part of me says maybe she will come around.
But my only fix is from this state is to be with someone either physically, emotionally. Or both. I would be fooling myself to say i can go months. That is why i try with her again. Or someone else. And i would rather her. I been alone, with pent up sexual frustration prior for far too long
To say I can play a waiting game. No way. Not normal at my age at 37. To sit and dwell. And get frustrated.

 

[Restless soul]

What do you think about what i said above?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Maybe. But I suffer from too much information from the web regarding texting. And a self- destructive streak. I already past the point of no return. Maybe if i waited 3 weeks and didnt text her up until this point. But even if i had that chance I would foul up big time....so?

So..you would ignore an ex? Ok. Every situation is different. Are you a female i assume? What if your ex did no contact after a break up for 30 days. Would that have made a diffrence in thr world? Call me impulsive. Ocd. Add. But no matter how stable I felt. I don't think not texting or reaching out is bad. Calling maybe more if a nuisance. But a text a day? Or 2?

Does it matter what information you get from the internet when someone just doesn't want to be involved with you?

Yeah, I'm female, but that has no bearing on my reaction to such a thing. If someone wants to bother me, after I've made it clear that I didn't want to talk to them, I'd ignore them. It wouldn't make a difference how long they waited. My ex contacted me several years after the fact, but I had to put the notion to bed. I couldn't talk with him because he made it clear to me that he still wanted something. There's no longer any harsh feelings there, but I still can't be okay with talking to him.

And call or text, it's still contact. If she's set on not talking to you anymore, there's no amount of calls or texts that will make her change her mind. She probably doesn't want you reaching out to her.

I got plenty of advice. And know plenty on my own.
This happened 3 weeks ago almost where she said she was not into me. Pretty much. And and these 3 weeks i been a mess. All over the place. Emotionally. Sexually crazed. Tense. And that is of course why i tried to work things out. I know my history. This was the first relationship i had in many years and wasnt bad. Just ended akward. But it balanced me out in so many ways.

A part of me says to say, fresia it.who cares find someone new. And a part of me says maybe she will come around.
But my only fix is from this state is to be with someone either physically, emotionally. Or both. I would be fooling myself to say i can go months. That is why i try with her again. Or someone else. And i would rather her. I been alone, with pent up sexual frustration prior for far too long
To say I can play a waiting game. No way. Not normal at my age at 37. To sit and dwell. And get frustrated.

She flat out told you that she wasn't into you? I think you should leave her be. She's giving you no hope of anything more. If you continue to contact her, I don't see anything good coming out of it. I don't think it's a waiting game. Not on her behalf anyway.

 

[Restless soul]

Yes she did. In person. I didn't get it understand it
Being intimate with someone days before. Made little sense. So was weird

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yes she did. In person. I didn't get it understand it
Being intimate with someone days before. Made little sense. So was weird

It might not make any sense to you. But it's what she told you. Unless she's changing her attitude towards you, I would heed her warning.

 

[Restless soul]

I see. Thanks..i already screwed that up. Today.yesterday.
But i will try

 

[Restless soul]

Vanilla - so what is your suggestion. For the sexual
Tension?? I'm being serious.