Saturday Night Blues

[CM Vader]

I can hear a BBQ outside, people laughing etc. A few of my friends are out but I've got no money. I'd love some female company now but that's not happening. So I'm stuck here in my bedroom drinking alone.

Awful eh.

 

[LoneKiller]

Sorry to hear that your alone. That happens to me as well. Nothing worse than seeing others having a good time when you are stuck alone. Have you tried introducing yourself to the BBQ people. Having liquor on you is a good way to get to know others. Just go over, introduce yourself and offer some of your sauce. If they accept, there's your ticket to conversation.

 

[theglasscell]

Cheer up.

It happens sometimes, you end up alone with nothing to do.

Just try to something positive to focus on. Drinking alone is not a good idea, it's just going to make you feel worse in the long run.

 

[Felix]

I'm by myself too... feeling quite optimistic though. But yeah, saturday comes and one can't help but to think of other people going out having a good time. It gets me too sometimes, I can easily relate.

One day you could be one of them. Give yourself time m8. Take it easy.

 

[theglasscell]

That's all in your imagination.

People aren't always having fun when they go out at night.

I work in Times Square at night, especially when going to work Friday night I see a lot of people out going clubbing. Have of them seem miserable and they are so dressed up in uncomfortable clothes to show off, I don't see how they can even have fun.

Going out isn't for everyone. When I was in college I had a lot of friends and we usually never went out unless it was to the this one gay club that only played 80's music. Whenever I went out to straight clubs guys would always hit on my girlfriend and try to start fights with me. It was never a fun time.

When you are younger going out and keeping up with what you think other people are doing seems like a big deal but it's really not important. The best thing to do is find a way to be totally happy alone I guess.

My time on the weekends when I don't have to work is usually when I like to work on my writing. That makes me happier than going out.

Have you read The Cartography of Hell? It's by this guy named Jekyll, he's a famous pick up artist, and in general I find all that stuff to be moronic. But his essay The Cartography of Hell is pretty brilliant and it applies mainly to finding your happiness and fighting until you get it.

It applies a lot to this feeling of being stuck at home on a Saturday night and feeling left out of life.

There's so many things you can do to lift your mood, it might seem gay but I jump rope for a half hour every day. That always makes me feel really good, although really drained. I do it while listening to Cher Lloyd music, which is cheesy as hell. But I'm in a great mood right now so I guess it works.

 

[Felix]

It's true, not everyone is having fun. When I had friends we didn't always had fun. Something would go wrong, someone was being an *******, we couldn't think of anything to do that would please everyone... etc, etc. But that's what you think when you "have the blues". Everyone's having great time but me. Or at least they're not alone. Something like that... Each one of us has it's own particular version I guess.

As I grew older I realized a good night by myself sure beats a lame one with people being annoying.

 

[theglasscell]

You're so right. I used to have these three cousins I hung out with. No matter where we went all they wanted to do was get wasted and start fights. Every time we went out it turned into a mess.

I remember taking them to this really awesome music festival in Coney Island where the Raveonettes were playing for free and the whole time they just wanted to sit in the corner of the bar nearby and chug beers and sat there complaining about all the gay hipsters. And they didn't want to watch any of the bands.

Not everyone has horrible friends like I did but usually in a big group of friends there is always going to be someone who whines or is having a bad time, or the couple who spend the whole time fighting. I remember countless times having to leave a place early or having a friend leave because his girlfriend was throwing a tantrum.

But the point is you can't worry about what other people are doing.

I meet older people who haven't had kids and they talk about how they envy me the experience but I'm sure they don't envy spending two years in family court, or having their wages garnished, or having to watch your kid go through heart surgery. They probably just envy the fun parts.

You can envy guys who are married but that means you have to envy all the bad parts of marriage. Plenty of guys get cheated on, lose half their income. Look at how Simon Cowell just got his best friend's wife pregnant. That ladies husband is one of the richest men in NYC and owns some of the nicest buildings, I can't say I would switch places with him right now.

 

[CM Vader]

I've done the whole going out thing now. I'm 25 and my hangovers are dreadful nowadays. When I was with my ex I didn't miss going out at all. I obviously went out but I didn't go out to "get wasted". It was good. But now I have nothing else to do I need something to fill the void so to speak.

It's a hard one as when I'm out it's not brilliant but it's just "something to do" for me atm.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't like my own company if I'm being honest and try and surround myself with friends as much as I can. Takes my mind off things. But it usually ends up with me drinking loads. I can't just have one pint, I have to have more.

Urgh. One of those things.

 

[Peaches]

It's saturday night here too, it has been months since someone invited me somewhere, and I don't like huge parties and clubs. Practicing music and trying not to get overly depressed, after some bad things that happened last week. I also envy my neighbors sometimes, but you never know what's on the other side.

 

[theglasscell]

Yeah, I can't drink at all myself. I go crazy with it.

That's why I quit altogether.

 

[CM Vader]

Yeah, I can't drink at all myself. I go crazy with it.

That's why I quit altogether.

What is the secret? And what do you do in your spare time without drink? I sound like a proper alcoholic lol.

 

[theglasscell]

Well to be honest I go to AA meetings and do all the stuff involved with it. I just hit four months of being clean. I find it works for me, I'm an atheist but I am still able to do all the spiritual aspects of the steps.

But I go to a meeting every night before I start my shift. Tonight I have off and am going to a midnight and 2am meeting.

But part of it is that I get invited to dinners to celebrate other people's clean time, like if they hit a year or twenty years or something. Tomorrow I'm going to a picnic in central park. There's all kinds of things. Sober dances, softball.

I'm lucky to be in NYC where the program is really diverse. That's the only thing that ever helped me. It has really changed my life for the better in four months.

 

[CM Vader]

Well to be honest I go to AA meetings and do all the stuff involved with it. I just hit four months of being clean. I find it works for me, I'm an atheist but I am still able to do all the spiritual aspects of the steps.

But I go to a meeting every night before I start my shift. Tonight I have off and am going to a midnight and 2am meeting.

But part of it is that I get invited to dinners to celebrate other people's clean time, like if they hit a year or twenty years or something. Tomorrow I'm going to a picnic in central park. There's all kinds of things. Sober dances, softball.

I'm lucky to be in NYC where the program is really diverse. That's the only thing that ever helped me. It has really changed my life for the better in four months.

Fair play to you. I've been jobless since April so I've been hitting the bottle more often than not. Going out is the only thing I do. I play football as well, try to do it three times a week.

Are there such programmes in the UK? I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic if I'm being serious but I do notice when I haven't had a drink in a while.

I'm one of them guys that needs a woman to slow me down and get a perspective on life. Someone to "mother" me I guess and look after me. My last ex was brilliant to me for that and my life was so much better.

I'm just so bored atm, feel like I'm missing out on life itself. It's dreadful.