Selective Mutism

[Staphylocccus]

This is a problem I know for sure that I had when I was a child, but only recently did I realize that I may still have it after all. All this time I like to think of myself as "quiet," but I find that in some situations I'm as unable to speak as I used to be. What is "selective mutism" anyway? Is it not speaking in some situations because you're physically unable to do it or because you just don't feel like contributing to a conversation? I find that, just like when I was a child, I'm always more interested in daydreaming than joining a conversation like a normal person. I do hear people when they're speaking and I do smile or snicker when they say something funny, but that's the extent of my participation.

 

[Chris 2]

This is a problem I know for sure that I had when I was a child, but only recently did I realize that I may still have it after all. All this time I like to think of myself as "quiet," but I find that in some situations I'm as unable to speak as I used to be. What is "selective mutism" anyway? Is it not speaking in some situations because you're physically unable to do it or because you just don't feel like contributing to a conversation? I find that, just like when I was a child, I'm always more interested in daydreaming than joining a conversation like a normal person. I do hear people when they're speaking and I do smile or snicker when they say something funny, but that's the extent of my participation.

Never heard of it. Have you heard of social anxiety disorder, you might have that instead.

 

[SilentThinker]

This is a problem I know for sure that I had when I was a child, but only recently did I realize that I may still have it after all. All this time I like to think of myself as "quiet," but I find that in some situations I'm as unable to speak as I used to be. What is "selective mutism" anyway? Is it not speaking in some situations because you're physically unable to do it or because you just don't feel like contributing to a conversation? I find that, just like when I was a child, I'm always more interested in daydreaming than joining a conversation like a normal person. I do hear people when they're speaking and I do smile or snicker when they say something funny, but that's the extent of my participation.

Do you mean that you are quiet in a group but 'noisy' with individual?

I been studying about the level of interaction.

I = C + E + S
Level of interaction = Closeness + Extrovertness + Sameness

For example,it is easier to talk to people you are close to.

Extroverts

For extroverts such behavior is typical when a person:


• tends to communicate with people,
• needs attention from people surrounding him/her,
• tends to take part in public speeches, different activities, entertainments and parties.

Adapted from http://www.chakrachka.ru/en/tela/Etheric-body/Extroverts.htm,2008

When you have the same common interest as others or same personality, you are able to interact well.

 

[samba101]

Now that I think about it I had selective mustism in my teens. Ask me a question back then and you'd get a one word answer and if you were lucky it was a sentence. Now that I think of it I wish I hadn't of done that it dearly damaged my social skills and my verbal ones too. Now that I'm older I can actually have a conversation be it a small one. Luckily I didn't stay in that mode for too long I'd hate to see what would have happened for the future.

 

[LonelyDragon]

What is "selective mutism" anyway? Is it not speaking in some situations because you're physically unable to do it or because you just don't feel like contributing to a conversation?

Well, if it's a case of actually being "unable" I would think that eliminates any "selective" aspect.

I find that, just like when I was a child, I'm always more interested in daydreaming than joining a conversation like a normal person. I do hear people when they're speaking and I do smile or snicker when they say something funny, but that's the extent of my participation.

That there sounds like a classic attention disorder.

 

[mama_mia_k]

I = C + E + S
Level of interaction = Closeness + Extrovertness + Sameness

For example,it is easier to talk to people you are close to.

This is very interesting to me and explains much of my problem. I tend to totally freeze up around larger groups of people or people I don't know. I just stop talking and get real nervous and sometimes have to leave.

The problem with the little equation is not with the equation itself, but with increasing the end result. Does that make sense? For example, I'm a total introvert, so how do I even approach figuring out the sameness or closeness until I break through the introversion? Seems like closeness is pretty far away when you can't even break through the shell of one's own anxieties.

 

[SilentThinker]

I = C + E + S
Level of interaction = Closeness + Extrovertness + Sameness

For example,it is easier to talk to people you are close to.

This is very interesting to me and explains much of my problem. I tend to totally freeze up around larger groups of people or people I don't know. I just stop talking and get real nervous and sometimes have to leave.

The problem with the little equation is not with the equation itself, but with increasing the end result. Does that make sense? For example, I'm a total introvert, so how do I even approach figuring out the sameness or closeness until I break through the introversion? Seems like closeness is pretty far away when you can't even break through the shell of one's own anxieties.

This attachment is written by me.I wanted to write it as a book but I do not know how to go about doing it.

(Resources not quoted)-The Relationship Model

Its purpose of this is to help people with their relationships because I myself suffered it and do not want others to suffer the same thing as me.

 

[SilentThinker]

This attachment would explain what is the I = C + E + S all about.

 

[AllAlone1]

I totally agree with what you posted SilentThinker which is usually what I become around large groups I mean for me I think its more of a question of who or what is the group, is this your inner circle of friends or just a group like minded individuals you like get with sometimes or is it just some random group who just happen to be around each other and have nothing in common like people in a classroom at school or something to that effect. Which is exactly what you mentioned ST and I guess thats the scientific term or psychological term for it but I guess never really thought of it that way. I don't usually contribute to conversation around strangers Period. unless its about a subject that I am deeply interested in so for me it doesn't matter whether its a group or an individual for me to join into conversation it has to be about something that I am at least somewhat interest in and not just a bunch people sittin around talkin about nothin and because of that I have been labeled as arrogant and snooty but I'd rather I appear that way than to spend time ramblin about bs with people I have nothin in common with or particularly care for. Now don't get me wrong I will speak sometimes as to not appear totally anti-social giving out the occasional "what's up" or "what's happenin" to be civil and look like I care somewhat but thats usually where it ends with strangers or people I don't know that well.

 

[SilentThinker]

I totally agree with what you posted SilentThinker which is usually what I become around large groups I mean for me I think its more of a question of who or what is the group, is this your inner circle of friends or just a group like minded individuals you like get with sometimes or is it just some random group who just happen to be around each other and have nothing in common like people in a classroom at school or something to that effect. Which is exactly what you mentioned ST and I guess thats the scientific term or psychological term for it but I guess never really thought of it that way. I don't usually contribute to conversation around strangers Period. unless its about a subject that I am deeply interested in so for me it doesn't matter whether its a group or an individual for me to join into conversation it has to be about something that I am at least somewhat interest in and not just a bunch people sittin around talkin about nothin and because of that I have been labeled as arrogant and snooty but I'd rather I appear that way than to spend time ramblin about bs with people I have nothin in common with or particularly care for. Now don't get me wrong I will speak sometimes as to not appear totally anti-social giving out the occasional "what's up" or "what's happenin" to be civil and look like I care somewhat but thats usually where it ends with strangers or people I don't know that well.

ST is based on the personality test of Carl Jung.

Closeness:
1.Facade Level
2.Acquaintance
3.Friends
4.Close Friends

Sameness:
Common interest and same personality helps people to interact better.The closer the better.

Extrovertness:
I thought of a group.Introvert found it hard to talk in the group while extroverts are more likely to control the conversation.The more extrovertness,the more the person can fare well in a group.

 

[SilentThinker]

Closeness:
1.Facade Level
2.Acquaintance
3.Friend
4.Close Friend

Sameness:
Personality and the common interest

Extrovertness:
People who are extroverts normally fare well in a group and this explains why introverts found it hard to mix well in a group.