shall i continue with this friendship?

[diamondintherough]

So yesterday I was meant to.meet my friend at 4.30 I got there 10 mins early and didn't mind waiting when my friend said she would be there soon. She then said she got the wrong bus so I waited longer. In the end I waited 1 hour and a half and as she didn't reply I decided to go back home. Then I found out later that just as she left she had arrived and was complaining about waiting 30 mins. As I don't really have friends I'm not sure if It's right to keep people waiting that long? This is the second time she has done this. I'm not sure if she is really getting lost each time or is taking me for a ride. what do you think ?

 

[Callie]

I know quite a few people that don't care about making people wait. Personally, I am VERY punctual, I can't stand being late. Actually, the way I see it, if I'm RIGHT ON TIME, I deem myself as late.
I suppose it depends ultimately on how you view the situations. You said it's only happened twice, so is this something that you can't abide? Have you voiced your thoughts to your friend? That would be the first thing to do. Sometimes, unexpected things do happen, forcing people to be late, but if it's for no reason at all, in my opinion, that is completely unacceptable.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Lateness determining a friendship? I understand if she made you wait half the day just to have lunch and some coffee, but an hour or two wasn't bad. She gave you a reason. And as much as people would like it to be possible, getting on the correct bus and back on the right route won't take 5 minutes to do. Certain things, I hate being late for... Waiting for a friend is not one of them.

However, on the flip-side, if she had the nerve to complain after you waited for her, I'd tell her to get off her high horse.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Ask her if she was late, or just being inconsiderate.

 

[kaetic]

It's not okay to keep people waiting. It's disrespectful to the other person. I can understand getting lost twice, but then at least have the decency to reply to the person that's waiting on you. Let them know what's going on.
But it's a bit difficult to tell if she's actually "taking you for a ride" from being late twice. How well do you know her? Have you gotten together other times where she's been on time, or maybe waited on you?

 

[VanillaCreme]

It's not okay to keep people waiting. It's disrespectful to the other person. I can understand getting lost twice, but then at least have the decency to reply to the person that's waiting on you. Let them know what's going on.

You can't always help what happens. Sometimes, it makes you late. That can't always be helped. If you honestly were held back from something, would you want someone who was waiting on you to hate you for not being there the second you agreed?

 

[ladyforsaken]

If both times were genuine emergencies, as in, she couldn't keep you updated of her whereabouts or how long she'll be late for, then I guess it's okay. But if her reasons were seeming a little shady, why don't you confront her about it, have a nice decent talk about it and ask what were the issues if there were any and ask her if she could at least estimate her lateness in the future (if it happens again, desirably not) better or if she could keep you in contact should such things happen so that you wouldn't be left stranded not knowing whether she's turning up or not. Communicate with her. Sometimes it's just a matter of miscommunication.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Confront her once. See if she changes.

 

[Polar]

Bring up the subject so she is aware, 3rd strike is out. If you're going to be an hour and a half late it's your own responsibility to keep your friend updated. She has absolutely no right to be complaining at you for having walked after that ammount of time. The fact that she's trying to turn the situation around and is angry with you for leaving, makes me think she's a manipulative person rather than having made a genuine mistake. But that's my humble opinion!

 

[Isla]

if it was once with a good excuse, we are all human. but if its a pattern with lots of excuses then its the way she is. if she doesnt care to make you wait on a regular basis then you can probably figure that she wont put too much effort into the friendship. i speak from experience, my high school friend was like this. she was always late for things, didnt care if anyone waited on her. and when it came to the friendship in general, she was like that too, expected everyone else to do all the work. she lost a lot of good friends that way but never changed.

 

[nerdygirl]

Being late can be excusable, but complaining about waiting a half hour for you to come back when she was over an hour late? That's not cool.