AFrozenSoul said:
My first reaction was to say have a quick and intense fling and then end it before you leave. However, since you want to build trust then I say just keep him at a distance and start looking for guys in the area you are going to be moving too. Otherwise I think you would just be taking advantage of the guy.
AFS, I think we function differently in terms of why we might want sex and when. It's kind of interesting how people can differ on that.
Anyways, I think right now I"m trying to decide if I possibly want to put the emotional energy into this guy or not since I'm moving away. I am so sick of long distance relationships. =/ I also have other guys I'm talking to at the moment and this particular guy's behavior is making me feel like I shouldn't be talking to them. I mean, I did ask him for a date but a date doesn't automatically mean "hey you're my boyfriend!"
I REALLY don't want to hurt him because he seems so sweet and kind. =/
So, messing with his head is out of the question.
Kenny said:
She also needs to make sure that people know where she is going, where she is going to be, whom she is going to be with, and most importantly, that this boy/guy (man) knows that others know this. For her safety. Trust me.
This is a good idea Kenny. I'll be sure to implement this. Thanks.
SkuzzieMuff said:
The first girl seems to be the most important, somehow... A boy's first girlfriend can break him, and change his life forever.... But, that's only if things go wrong, and in this fast paced society, I think men push women to move too fast. Taking it slow is definitely a good idea, not just in this situation, but always I think. And maybe It's our responsibility to keep the chase going, instead of giving in and letting them catch you too early. ^-^
I can only imagine how awkward it might be to meet someone that you feel like you know so well, but yet again not at all, in person for the first time... And, if he's already treating you like a girlfriend, that might be tough too, but I understand why as well. Maybe, shortly before you leave for your trip, the two of you should talk about what things will be ok or not? But, yet again, most people don't like brutal honesty as much as I do, and it might weird him out... Though, I think it should be totally fair for a woman to set her boundaries... He's going to want to push (because men are like that) but you've gotta be firmly planted in your position, and not bend or break...
How long will you be visiting, where are you staying (like in his place, or a hotel) and what plans do you have already? If you keep your days filled with fun and excitement, it hopefully will keep it from going the wrong direction too fast... But if you're just chillin' out at his place all day, that's when the trouble starts...
Well, I don't feel I know him THAT well, but I know him enough to get a "read" on his emotions and "read" how he treats me via his words when we speak.
We are located in the same town right now. You've got a good idea on not going to his place right away.
I also know that guys tend to respect you more if you aren't easy. It's just how it is. Sorry, a bit off topic, but I really do want to be respected by guys while dating them in general. Also, I do think holding out on doing sexual things, is like, to me, it's almost like holding a piece of myself away from them until I decide whether or not they're worth it to place that emotional trust in. I guess while sex, to other people is just something that feels good, it's a sign of trust for me and also a sign of me putting emotional value on the person. Make sense?
I think we both don't want a long-distance relationship because whenever I bring up having to go to D.C. he gets sad. =l
Another thing. My Social life is improving and it's partially thanks to facebook event invitations!
I'm going to go to one of my classmate's senior music recitals on saturday. She's a music major. So I"m going to go and buy her flowers beforehand and then give them to her after her performance.
Also, I went to a retreat this past weekend and talked to people even though I felt horrible inside that I had no social life. I tried talking and they seemed to like me.
Also, wow. There is this girl that's graduating in May. I want to go to her graduation. WE were friends at Temple. (wow am I actually saying the word friend?) and there's a girl that wants to meet up again from high school. =o
Things are improving!