So it seems I have to become a jerk, but........

[Code S.O.L]

The strangest irony is that in order to become more appealing to the opposite sex, I have to become..... less likeable. If that's how it has to be, so be it.

BUT! I refuse, REFUSE to follow the Jersey Shore buff n cut path. Jersey Shore is the physical embodiement of everything I loathe about society, and I say this now: I will die before I allow myself to become like 'The Situation'.

So the question I ask is this: Are there more intelligent ways of becoming an asshat without warping and compromising my principles too much?

 

[Mary Mary]

The strangest irony is that in order to become more appealing to the opposite sex, I have to become..... less likeable. If that's how it has to be, so be it.

BUT! I refuse, REFUSE to follow the Jersey Shore buff n cut path. Jersey Shore is the physical embodiement of everything I loathe about society, and I say this now: I will die before I allow myself to become like 'The Situation'.

So the question I ask is this: Are there more intelligent ways of becoming an asshat without warping and compromising my principles too much?

Doc Love said that he thinks the secret to attracting women is to become like a jerk _except without all the abusive parts_.

Why do women like jerks? They're confident and not needy.

 

[Ghost]

You don't have to become a jerk. Just don't allow your negative self evaluations to prevent you from making a move.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Yeah what was said above ^.

As for the "buff and cut" thing, it is true that zero cute girls would show interest in a guy who doesn't work out. I don't blame them either. If they could get a guy who works out alot and makes himself be good-looking, then why should a cute girl choose some dude who doesn't put in the effort to work out. Beauty is made, not given.

In the end, it's up to you. You can "wait for a nice girl to come along" (which I am sure won't happen) or make yourself attractive and date cute females. The problem, buddy, is that no one is going to reward you for keeping your principles. They will just see you as a failure who is unable to attract members of the opposite sex, and you will be looked down upon.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear. But I was once in your shoes, and I made my decision.

 

[SofiasMami]

Oh dear.
I'm not a cute girl, but I'm a red hot sexy woman. And you can throw in intelligent and financially stable while you're at it.
I don't date asshats, jerks or whatever you call them. A guy who is obsessed with his body and looks isn't going to have time for me. If a guy is good looking, that's great. But we women aren't as visually oriented as men! A man with a friendly smile and a kind heart is what gets my attention; a buff guy with an odious personality gets the cold shoulder.
And Socrates, I see you are referring to women as "it" in your signature. Bad, very bad.


Teresa

 

[Mr. Sir]

Oh dear.
I'm not a cute girl, but I'm a red hot sexy woman. And you can throw in intelligent and financially stable while you're at it.
I don't date asshats, jerks or whatever you call them. A guy who is obsessed with his body and looks isn't going to have time for me. If a guy is good looking, that's great. But we women aren't as visually oriented as men! A man with a friendly smile and a kind heart is what gets my attention; a buff guy with an odious personality gets the cold shoulder.
And Socrates, I see you are referring to women as "it" in your signature. Bad, very bad.

Teresa

No woman who describes herself as "red hot sexy" accepts guys who are less than that. C'mon? You expect us to believe that. If you didn't describe yourself in such an arrogant term, maybe I could take what you said more seriously.

100% of my female acquaintances have said what you said above. The behavior of 95% of them has contradicted that statement at one point or another (often repeated behaviors).

And my signature is just supposed to sound catchy.

 

[Darkness]

I'll just stay lonely the rest of my life. I don't want to become a jerk to attract woman!

 

[Mr. Sir]

I'll just stay lonely the rest of my life. I don't want to become a jerk to attract woman!

Cool brah. Have fun with that. Not only do you have to deal with the loneliness but also the profiling as a creepy loner single male.

 

[Mary Mary]

I don't date asshats, jerks or whatever you call them. A guy who is obsessed with his body and looks isn't going to have time for me. If a guy is good looking, that's great. But we women aren't as visually oriented as men! A man with a friendly smile and a kind heart is what gets my attention; a buff guy with an odious personality gets the cold shoulder.
Teresa

100% of my female acquaintances have said what you said above. The behavior of 95% of them has contradicted that statement at one point or another (often repeated behaviors).

That's why a man shouldn't take advice from women on how to date women.

 

[SofiasMami]

That's why a man shouldn't take advice from women on how to date women.

I can't tell if this is serious or a joke. If you folks are just looking to get laid, then your tricks, as it were, probably do work. Good luck finding a nice girl, though.
It's laughable that Socrates called another poster a "creepy loner single male" yet calls this woman arrogant for having confidence in myself. You could not handle a woman like me. Good luck in your pursuits.


Teresa

 

[suckaG]

it is true that zero cute girls would show interest in a guy who doesn't work out. I don't blame them either.

this is contradicted by too much reality. there are multitudes of guys who attract the interest of cute females, who would openly laugh at the idea of working out. I know a few myself. hell, I know guys who are literally obese and have some new cute little girlfriend every time we catch up.

to the OP:

don't have to be a dick, just use those balls!

 

[A new life]

Oh dear.
I'm not a cute girl, but I'm a red hot sexy woman. And you can throw in intelligent and financially stable while you're at it.
I don't date asshats, jerks or whatever you call them. A guy who is obsessed with his body and looks isn't going to have time for me. If a guy is good looking, that's great. But we women aren't as visually oriented as men! A man with a friendly smile and a kind heart is what gets my attention; a buff guy with an odious personality gets the cold shoulder.
And Socrates, I see you are referring to women as "it" in your signature. Bad, very bad.


Teresa

Nice to know.
Thank you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I know women R sensitive & taste good.
Thats y U would also rather be rubbing up against me..instead of a beer gutted. hairy. bald head. smelly
slob that dosnt care to take care of himself.
.How can any guy honor and cherrish a woman if he dosnt horon N cherish himself first.

Staying fit takes dedications, commitments. Determinations . Perseverance, actions .working through pains. Patience. Focus, self motivations. Self discipline.
These r the principles Im talking about...Plus I have stamina as aby product

Charming. Im charming.

Nice..Im too nice. Women takes advantage of this..I know I let them.
I take full responsiblities of that too.

 

[Brian]

OP, I sent you a PM. Hopefully it helps. Check your inbox.

suckaG sums it up pretty well, though, in one line. You don't have to be a dick. You don't have to wear popped collars or call people 'Bro' or drink light beer. Just...be a male. Not like, farting and scratching your armpits. Just assert yourself as having an identity and be sure of it 100%.

Look at my signature. Haakon told the missionaries of the Nailed Messiah to fresia right off and didn't care what they thought, even though he knew it would ruin his allegiance with the Danes. The men in the boat with him respected that strength and saw him as a leader. If he had said, "Cut them down in the surf where they stand", it would have happened then and there; the tide would have run red and the cross would be nought but driftwood; though he probably knew that would be inviting retribution. Regardless, he had principles and he NEVER bent them.

A man of today would not have done that. Today's man would have said, "Oh, well, it would be a hard decision to say no. Sure, missionaries, come with me and ruin my people with your parasitic ways sooner than its going to happen anyway." And his men would have spat on him and turned their backs. And rightfully so, to show such weakness! Nowadays, we are told that it is OK to be weak. Even 9th place gets a trophy.

Be a leader. We have no leaders among the regular people of the world; the global elite have us bred and preened to be completely ordinary and trained to prostrate ourselves in the face of a challenge unless they wish otherwise. Be bold. Take charge. Don't be an *******, just have an identity.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I know women R sensitive & taste good.
Thats y U would also rather be rubbing up against me..instead of a beer gutted. hairy. bald head. smelly
slob that dosnt care to take care of himself.
.How can any guy honor and cherrish a woman if he dosnt hoNor N cherish himself first.

Staying fit takes dedications, commitments. Determinations . Perseverance, actions .working through pains. Patience. Focus, self motivations. Self discipline.
These r the principles Im talking about...Plus I have stamina as a by product :N a sexy body.

Charming. Im charming.
Thats y theres been plenty of women thats attracted to me.
Not becuz Im a jerk

Nice..Im too nice. Women takes advantage of this..I know I let them.
I take full responsiblities of that too.
Learned that the hard way.

 

[edgecrusher]

some of the male responses in this thread are LOL. not going to name anyone but i think everyone already knows. anyway....

as much as i would not like to admit it, it would seem that to attract women you do have to be a jerk. however, i think that most of the time that serves the purpose of just getting laid, in the long run. from what ive seen most guys that act like that are constantly trying to be with different women, but it never lasts. whether or not they care about that doesnt really matter. i am not looking for that. i dont have it in me to be a jerk to someone who doesnt deserve it. i think that a lot of that supposed confidence is actually arrogance many times. in the long run these guys will have slept with many women but not really connected with any of them. whether or not they actually stay with one of them doesnt really matter if they havent connected with them. thats what i am looking for. to make a connection. i cant see making a long lasting connection with a woman by acting like a dick.

 

[Code S.O.L]

Well don't get me wrong. I'm not just trying to get laid as many times as I can, I just wanna be noticed, is all.

Also, I'm far from fat, hairy, bald and smelly. I'm about average looking, and yes. I do take care of myself hygenically.

Right now, I feel frustrated(as I get sometimes), since it seems like all females-not just the supermodels, expect you to be a Jersey Shore cutout before you're even given a glance.

Brian, I've read both your post and your PM. I could go into detail on all of it, but I wanna talk about the leader statement. I totally get what you're saying with asserting one's ID %100. But in order to do that, one has to be sure it himself. This is what I'm struggling with atm. Right now, I'm not completely sure of myself.

 

[Mary Mary]

That's why a man shouldn't take advice from women on how to date women.

I can't tell if this is serious or a joke. If you folks are just looking to get laid, then your tricks, as it were, probably do work. Good luck finding a nice girl, though.
It's laughable that Socrates called another poster a "creepy loner single male" yet calls this woman arrogant for having confidence in myself. You could not handle a woman like me. Good luck in your pursuits.


Teresa

I'm 100% serious. Of course, mature people will be grateful if you give them what they want; but many people aren't that mature when it comes to romance and sex. I can't speak to what's in everyone else's head, but I'm not talking about playing tricks on people. It's about accepting reality. There's usually a huge dissonance between what people say they want and what they actually do. Your post on sleeping with other men is a case study on that.

---

it is true that zero cute girls would show interest in a guy who doesn't work out. I don't blame them either.

this is contradicted by too much reality. there are multitudes of guys who attract the interest of cute females, who would openly laugh at the idea of working out. I know a few myself. hell, I know guys who are literally obese and have some new cute little girlfriend every time we catch up.

to the OP:

don't have to be a dick, just use those balls!

Overall, I think you're right, but I think at the OPs age, looks do matter to girls but not for the same reason as it does to boys and men in general. It's about status. At that age range, more attractive males are perceived as having more status, but that changes as they get older. Then it switches to job status and income.

---

some of the male responses in this thread are LOL. not going to name anyone but i think everyone already knows. anyway....

as much as i would not like to admit it, it would seem that to attract women you do have to be a jerk. however, i think that most of the time that serves the purpose of just getting laid, in the long run. from what ive seen most guys that act like that are constantly trying to be with different women, but it never lasts. whether or not they care about that doesnt really matter. i am not looking for that. i dont have it in me to be a jerk to someone who doesnt deserve it. i think that a lot of that supposed confidence is actually arrogance many times. in the long run these guys will have slept with many women but not really connected with any of them. whether or not they actually stay with one of them doesnt really matter if they havent connected with them. thats what i am looking for. to make a connection. i cant see making a long lasting connection with a woman by acting like a dick.

I agree. There's a website that does have good advice on how to date women, but there's also a lot of advice mixed in on how to attract as many women to as possible to get laid by playing games and acting like jerks, which is why I don't refer young men to it.

It's natural that when a woman meets a jerk, some primal part of her brain lights up and says "oo, confident, aggressive male--sexy"; but for more mature women, another evolved part of her brain will light up and say, "yeah, girl, but that's nothin' but trouble. Keep moving."

 

[Mr. Sir]

That's why a man shouldn't take advice from women on how to date women.

I can't tell if this is serious or a joke. If you folks are just looking to get laid, then your tricks, as it were, probably do work. Good luck finding a nice girl, though.
It's laughable that Socrates called another poster a "creepy loner single male" yet calls this woman arrogant for having confidence in myself. You could not handle a woman like me. Good luck in your pursuits.


Teresa

I didn't call him a "creepy loner single male", I would never insult a dude that is going through lots of emotional pain. I merely WARNED him that that's how others are going to perceive him if he doesn't have a girlfriend. You have twisted my words.

Really, that was CONFIDENCE? "Red hot sexy woman"? Sorry, that sounds like something Snooki or JWoww would say. It's contradictory that you say you hate cocky meatheads, but I have NEVER heard ANYONE call themselves "sexy" unless they were full of themselves.

---

it is true that zero cute girls would show interest in a guy who doesn't work out. I don't blame them either.

this is contradicted by too much reality. there are multitudes of guys who attract the interest of cute females, who would openly laugh at the idea of working out. I know a few myself. hell, I know guys who are literally obese and have some new cute little girlfriend every time we catch up.

to the OP:

don't have to be a dick, just use those balls!

^ The line about not being a dick, but having balls is correct, SuckaG

However what is innaccurate is the EXTREME ANAMOLY you use about the obese guy with a cute girl. That is an ANAMOLY. All the guys I know (or randomly see) with attractive female companions are attractive themselves.

The fat guys who get girls are usually bikers or ex-football players, fat guys with muscle and strength under their fat who are big, mean, and tough and look like they can kick ass.

---

Well don't get me wrong. I'm not just trying to get laid as many times as I can, I just wanna be noticed, is all.

Also, I'm far from fat, hairy, bald and smelly. I'm about average looking, and yes. I do take care of myself hygenically.

Right now, I feel frustrated(as I get sometimes), since it seems like all females-not just the supermodels, expect you to be a Jersey Shore cutout before you're even given a glance.

Brian, I've read both your post and your PM. I could go into detail on all of it, but I wanna talk about the leader statement. I totally get what you're saying with asserting one's ID %100. But in order to do that, one has to be sure it himself. This is what I'm struggling with atm. Right now, I'm not completely sure of myself.

Even if you're not hairy or smelly, remember that the majority of women can afford and have to be extremely selective and have so many options because they are hit on close to 42 times a day.

You're right about even AVERAGE girls expecting a guy with the Situation's body and attitude. This is because girls would rather share a hot guy among 10 of them, than each have an average guy. This goes back to the animal kingdom, that's how it is with lions and many other types of animals.

It's extremely easy for overweight, unattractive girls to get with the "hot" guys. I knew an overweight girl who was the backup "booty-call" for my friend who was a jacked ******* who sold weed and wore designer clothes (he's dead now). He would use this overweight girl when he had no one else readily available, and she put up with it.

I will PM you some information when I have more time.

Hang in their buddy, Code S.O.L. We will prevail. I'm looking out for you.

 

[Mary Mary]

Well don't get me wrong. I'm not just trying to get laid as many times as I can, I just wanna be noticed, is all.

Also, I'm far from fat, hairy, bald and smelly. I'm about average looking, and yes. I do take care of myself hygenically.

Right now, I feel frustrated(as I get sometimes), since it seems like all females-not just the supermodels, expect you to be a Jersey Shore cutout before you're even given a glance.

Brian, I've read both your post and your PM. I could go into detail on all of it, but I wanna talk about the leader statement. I totally get what you're saying with asserting one's ID %100. But in order to do that, one has to be sure it himself. This is what I'm struggling with atm. Right now, I'm not completely sure of myself.

The best people to get advice on how to date women are MEN who are successful in dating women. There's nothing wrong with the power that jerks and attention whores have on the opposite sex. The problem is that these people misuse that power. There's nothing wrong with learning how to pick up women if you're sincere about what your doing. Google "dating women", "picking up women, etc" and go to those websites. You'll probably see a lot of stuff on how to just get laid, but you seem to be intelligent enough to know where the line between unethical and ethical is.