Solitude standing

[Somnambulist]

Hello, I'm a 33 year old idealist from California. I welcomed the first rain yesterday. I love the simple (and usually free) things in life ... the smell of wet Earth after the rain, a nice smile, a kind gesture, a compliment, a good cry, a genuine hug, the smell of salt in the air, a glass of dark red wine, candles and incense.

I always knew, deep inside, that the most serious problem (or, perhaps, the only one) in my life is loneliness. It has been the only constant in my life. For a while, I had a great career, and I was even part of some meaningless social circles. I deluded myself into thinking that I've "made it". But, that innermost wisdom kept whispering to me, "This is very wrong. Beware, you're headed for disaster." I always knew that the charade would end, just not how or when.

Yesterday, I saw a TEDx talk on "Lethality of loneliness", which is how I eventually discovered this forum. Yes, loneliness kills more people than smoking, alcoholism, and obesity. And, it should ! Because it's far more serious than any of those other issues and needs to be taken deadly seriously.

If you ask me why I think loneliness on this Earth is so pervasive, I'll tell you that it is simply because people have their priorities in life all backwards.

The career is long gone, the imaginary social circles have disappeared. All that's left is a mystery that no longer seems important to solve.

A somnambulist is someone who walks in his/her sleep. I've walked through what seems like a very surreal experience, much like a dream .... a nightmare ... that has lasted 33 years.

That's me. Do say hello.

 

[MisterLonely]

Hello Somnambulist,

Welcome to the forum, loneliness eats away at a persons very core, it's good to hear that you still get pleasure out of the simple things in this world.

 

[van0994]

Hi somnambulist! I hope you find what you are looking here pm if ever you wanna talk!

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi fellow Left Coaster! Welcome!

 

[constant stranger]

Hello Somnabulist.  Interesting take on loneliness being lethal.  I've always thought of my lonely life as being comparable to living with a vitamin deficiency or a starvation diet....similar kind of analogy I suppose.

 

[Somnambulist]

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone !

Nice to meet y'all

I'm sure we will run into each other again !

 

[Somnambulist]

Hello Somnabulist.  Interesting take on loneliness being lethal.  I've always thought of my lonely life as being comparable to living with a vitamin deficiency or a starvation diet....similar kind of analogy I suppose.

Interesting analogy (starvation). Actually, loneliness is not all that different from starvation, when you realize that human contact and intimacy are just as important as food and water.

 

[Somnambulist]

Hello Somnambulist,

Welcome to the forum, loneliness eats away at a persons very core, it's good to hear that you still get pleasure out of the simple things in this world.

Hi MisterLonely, yes, like you said, I think loneliness can be called a cancer of the soul. Of course, that makes it far more difficult to treat than a cancer that eats your bones away, because the cancer of the soul is invisible to the outside world.

We don't get flowers or get well soon cards for being lonely. We need to contract a physical cancer to be able to receive any sympathy or support.

 

[Yukongirl]

Hello Somnabulist.  Interesting take on loneliness being lethal.  I've always thought of my lonely life as being comparable to living with a vitamin deficiency or a starvation diet....similar kind of analogy I suppose.

Interesting analogy (starvation). Actually, loneliness is not all that different from starvation, when you realize that human contact and intimacy are just as important as food and water.

Never really thought of loneliness in quite this way, yet that's exactly what it is...

Oh and welcome to ALL

 

[Somnambulist]

Hello Somnabulist.  Interesting take on loneliness being lethal.  I've always thought of my lonely life as being comparable to living with a vitamin deficiency or a starvation diet....similar kind of analogy I suppose.

Interesting analogy (starvation). Actually, loneliness is not all that different from starvation, when you realize that human contact and intimacy are just as important as food and water.

Never really thought of loneliness in quite this way, yet that's exactly what it is...

Oh and welcome to ALL

Yup, it really is that serious a need, isn't it ?!

Nice to meet you !

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to the forum

 

[Somnambulist]

Welcome to the forum

Thank you   I feel so much at home here already !

 

[Lacrecia]

Hi welcome to ALL

 

[Somnambulist]

Twenty nine years ago, a musician very eloquently described my life

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Solitude stands by the window
She turns her head as I walk in the room
I can see by her eyes she's been waiting
Standing in the slant of the late afternoon

And she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame

Solitude stands in the doorway
And I'm struck once again by her black silhouette
By her long cool stare and her silence
I suddenly remember each time we've met

And she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame

And she says "I've come to set a twisted thing straight"
And she says "I've come to lighten this dark heart"
And she takes my wrist, I feel her imprint of fear
And I say "I've never thought of finding you here"

I turn to the crowd as they're watching
They're sitting all together in the dark in the warm
I wanted to be in there among them
I see how their eyes are gathered into one

And then she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame

Solitude stands in the doorway
And I'm struck once again by her black silhouette
By her long cool stare and her silence
I suddenly remember each time we've met

And she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame

 

[Bubblebeam]

So that's what your username means! It sounded like an abstract sort of religion before, haha.

You're very right of course about loneliness. I am just another who almost decided their doom at the hands of unbearable loneliness and heartache from an ex breakup. Even before then, even in school, I felt a lingering aloneness. It was like being forced into a place where all you see is all the wrong things being pushed, but only you can see it. Education is something hailed above anything and everything these days, for example. At my schools, they actually stressed the importance of it so much that it would have you believe you're nothing if not educated. Like you're less deserving of love somehow. As someone who's never been very bright even when trying their hardest to learn, that of course scared me to death. And even if I were bright, the loneliness that comes with seeing such a brainwashed rat race would still be there.

 

[Somnambulist]

So that's what your username means! It sounded like an abstract sort of religion before, haha.

You're very right of course about loneliness. I am just another who almost decided their doom at the hands of unbearable loneliness and heartache from an ex breakup. Even before then, even in school, I felt a lingering aloneness. It was like being forced into a place where all you see is all the wrong things being pushed, but only you can see it. Education is something hailed above anything and everything these days, for example. At my schools, they actually stressed the importance of it so much that it would have you believe you're nothing if not educated. Like you're less deserving of love somehow. As someone who's never been very bright even when trying their hardest to learn, that of course scared me to death. And even if I were bright, the loneliness that comes with seeing such a brainwashed rat race would still be there.

Hi there, friend ! It's so nice to hear from you

Yes, my username means "sleep walker". The prefix "som" relating to sleep, as in "insomnia". But, this thread is titled "Solitude standing", which is the name of the song I quoted above. (Just to clarify)

I know what you mean by "you're nothing if not educated". I grew up in a country where education was hailed above all else. It is the harsh reality in this world. I really wish they taught spirituality (esp. the teachings of Eckhart Tolle ... look him up, please !) in school ... kids would be much less stressed.

Are you still lonely ? I mean, you described what sounded like a pretty happy relationship with your husband.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Hello and welcome to the ALL! :>

 

[Somnambulist]

Hello and welcome to the ALL! :>

Thank you

 

[Meaw]

Welcome And yes, loneliness and sadness can be unbelievably crippling.

About Bubblebeam's school post - I was the one with the highest demands on myself in school. Everyone told me to slow down, but I wanted knowledge. Nobody did anything but tell me to slow down every now and then though... and when I crashed, it changed everything I was into almost the opposite. I don't even define myself as the same one anymore. We were too different. But I was good. I was great. I had chances, and I could have made it. Still, this now is the way it is, and I don't dislike myself for it.

There were never any help for the ones in the ends, not for the ones who learnt in other ways than the one the schools use, not for the ones needing more time, more explanations... or more challenges.

 

[mari1969]

Hello, I'm a 33 year old idealist from California. I welcomed the first rain yesterday. I love the simple (and usually free) things in life ... the smell of wet Earth after the rain, a nice smile, a kind gesture, a compliment, a good cry, a genuine hug, the smell of salt in the air, a glass of dark red wine, candles and incense.

I always knew, deep inside, that the most serious problem (or, perhaps, the only one) in my life is loneliness. It has been the only constant in my life. For a while, I had a great career, and I was even part of some meaningless social circles. I deluded myself into thinking that I've "made it". But, that innermost wisdom kept whispering to me, "This is very wrong. Beware, you're headed for disaster." I always knew that the charade would end, just not how or when.

Yesterday, I saw a TEDx talk on "Lethality of loneliness", which is how I eventually discovered this forum. Yes, loneliness kills more people than smoking, alcoholism, and obesity. And, it should ! Because it's far more serious than any of those other issues and needs to be taken deadly seriously.

If you ask me why I think loneliness on this Earth is so pervasive, I'll tell you that it is simply because people have their priorities in life all backwards.

The career is long gone, the imaginary social circles have disappeared. All that's left is a mystery that no longer seems important to solve.

A somnambulist is someone who walks in his/her sleep. I've walked through what seems like a very surreal experience, much like a dream .... a nightmare ... that has lasted 33 years.

That's me. Do say hello.

Hi Somnambulist, im sorry you feel this way about loneliness, but the other side is nice to find that im not alone in the deep pain that loneliness is.