Somebody's got to help me. And fast. (PHOENIX area)

[AmytheTemperamental]

Sure did, but what she said is exactly the trouble. The problem with minimum wage jobs is that they really don't grow into other opportunities. That's one of the big issues that's going on in the world today. People don't learn very transferable skills there, and also don't make enough to re-train. It's a no-man's-land of sorts.

Experience will get you a lot further than none. But hey, I have no experience in this at all. I only just got my first full time (minimum wage) job last year. And was only deemed reliable enough to get a somewhat better position. Will I do it forever? No. But as long as my life, my health and those I have to take care of rely on it, I will do it. Because going forward is better than being stuck.

 

[LonelySutton]

Can anyone please help me escape this lonely, monotonous life I am living? I'm going nowhere, I'm working a minimum wage job, and there's absolutely no one around who wants to help get me out of the house.

Well dude, I have some bad news for you. I have a career and a home, and you have pretty much described my life. I get up every day at 5:30.. return home at 6:30 (if I am lucky) where upon, I pretty much get to work on my long list of errands that, typically, lasts until the weekends. I feel like I am in an incubator, because I never get much of anything I want to do done. Friends... ha, who has time for that? I guess I have work friends but on the weekends we don't want to see each other. Plus they have to deal with their family.

So don't think getting a good job will do much. They will just demand more and more and more. I might get money but who has the time to spend it. And frankly, I tend to just spend it on things like, commuting, dry cleaning and clothing, all things I wouldn't need but for the job. I only stay for the retirement but I have a good 10+ more years to get that.

However, my suggestion is this... if you can't get anything other than a minimum wage job look for an employer who offers you value, such as working for the government. Most governments have plenty of entry level jobs but do provide for good benefits, shorter hours, and more opportunity for advancement. Check jobs in towns, courts, etc.

 

[anthonyS13]

It's my turn, so here I go. After all that's been said in this post, it should be obvious who is the right person to take advice from. NO, it's not possible to get by happily or decently on minimum wage anywhere. I guess it works for certain people in certain areas though. And no, I shouldn't just suck it up and accept the way things are.

To think I don't contribute to the household in which I live is absolutely ridiculous. You and I are going to live as though we've never met, you know who you are. The work I do around here in the yard and on our trees is equal to that of an entire landscaping crew, which costs around $200-300 a week to have around here. Don't get me started on the phone bill and car insurance, miss. Some people seem to make it clear to me why they ARE lonely.

But onwards to the point. My aspirations are to go to trade school sometime this year to pursue a career in sound design. It's on the other side of town, it's going to be taxing to drive all the way down there, but something needs to happen as I've been desperate to escape this monotonous life and find someone to help me move out and room with.

As for where I want to find myself living for good, I did mention living more Northwest. I mean I'd love to find myself somewhere greener and cleaner, such as the Portland area. Though if I could afford to, I'd want to have a nice house in a suburb just outside Seattle. I fell in love with that city when I was there over a year ago. I do not want to live in this dirty, dusty, hellish city my whole life, even if I became well off one day.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Do you have any helpful suggestions or at least words of encouragement for the OP?

Giving advice shouldn't turn into arguing. I see a lot of helpful advice here. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean it's wrong or bad. Sure, some of it is harsh. That's because life is. You say we get the world we are willing to accept, but you want to be in a world where everything is simple, easy, and you always get your way. I know this from most of your previous posts.

That isn't the real world, no matter how much you want to pretend. Life can be hard, difficult, and kick you when you didn't think it possible. It's fine you don't agree with what's being said, but don't dismiss their honest advice. You learn more by listening than by speaking, something that very few people do.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi anthony. I just wanted to say that I hope things turn out okay for you. Just hang in there and you'll find your way out again. Good luck.

I second that.

Did something recently occur to lead you to feel desperate about your situation? Just curious. A few years back I lived in a condo where the neighborhood slowly went downhill. One Sunday, I woke up to gang graffiti spray painted on a building right next door. I decided immediately that I needed to move. I wasn't able to move at that time but eventually did the following year.
I've been in low paying jobs and they stink. There's a reason they're called dead end jobs. They only way out for me was getting an education.
You sound very motivated to make a change so, yes, hang in there and ignore the noise and naysayers and I think you will be able to do it.

-Teresa

PS, I just read your post above. Get that application in to that trade school, don't wait! I've heard Seattle is a beautiful city too. Good luck!

 

[LonelySutton]

Some people seem to make it clear to me why they ARE lonely.

LOL burn.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Some people seem to make it clear to me why they ARE lonely.

Another selective reader, I see.

Also, I'm not lonely and if I wanted a boyfriend, I could get one. I also have friends. Nice try though. lol

 

[reynard_muldrake]

To the OP: I second Teresa's suggestion to apply to the trade school right away. How would you feel about looking for a different job in the meantime? I know you mentioned working long hours, but there's the possibility of reducing availability as you work on education options and other things. Good luck!

if I wanted a boyfriend, I could get one

 

[anthonyS13]

Hi anthony. I just wanted to say that I hope things turn out okay for you. Just hang in there and you'll find your way out again. Good luck.

I second that.

Did something recently occur to lead you to feel desperate about your situation? Just curious. A few years back I lived in a condo where the neighborhood slowly went downhill. One Sunday, I woke up to gang graffiti spray painted on a building right next door. I decided immediately that I needed to move. I wasn't able to move at that time but eventually did the following year.
I've been in low paying jobs and they stink. There's a reason they're called dead end jobs. They only way out for me was getting an education.
You sound very motivated to make a change so, yes, hang in there and ignore the noise and naysayers and I think you will be able to do it.

-Teresa

PS, I just read your post above. Get that application in to that trade school, don't wait! I've heard Seattle is a beautiful city too. Good luck!

What's been happening is the gradual degradation of good emotions stemming from my job, and it caused me to transition from hopeful to just as depressed as I was when I was unemployed. I'm losing morale and incentive to keep working when it's the same rate of pay with no chances for any raises. There are always better places to be, especially when Phoenix is all I've known. I want to move on to greener pastures as there's literally nothing but dirt here.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Giving advice shouldn't turn into arguing.

I agree. I knew better than to enter this thread so I only have myself to blame for getting mad, I avoid the news for the same reason. But I felt like someone had to offer a counterpoint to all that OP was given at the time.

You say we get the world we are willing to accept, but you want to be in a world where everything is simple, easy, and you always get your way.

Not exactly. I know flashy cars and houses don't grow on trees. What I do want is for society to be less punitive and trap-like. The closest example I could give would be the Postwar Era.

It's fine you don't agree with what's being said, but don't dismiss their honest advice. You learn more by listening than by speaking, something that very few people do.

I dismiss it because if someone tried to advise me that way, I wouldn't feel like they were advising me at all. That's why I spoke up in the first place.

---

But onwards to the point. My aspirations are to go to trade school sometime this year to pursue a career in sound design. It's on the other side of town, it's going to be taxing to drive all the way down there, but something needs to happen as I've been desperate to escape this monotonous life and find someone to help me move out and room with.

Good, you have a field of study picked out. Just plan well in advance so you don't miss the start of summer or fall semester. Some accelerated courses actually also start the second 8 weeks of spring semester sometimes, so you might even be able to start as early as March if your school offers any courses you need then. Because they are only 8 instead of 16 weeks, the courses feel like more work and usually meet for longer hours, but you wouldn't have to wait for summer to begin.

I do have to warn you though, do you know what career you want to get with your sound design degree and what the possible salary range is? It's good to know these things beforehand so you don't wind up with a major that leads to few jobs that don't pay what you are looking for.

As for where I want to find myself living for good, I did mention living more Northwest. I mean I'd love to find myself somewhere greener and cleaner, such as the Portland area. Though if I could afford to, I'd want to have a nice house in a suburb just outside Seattle. I fell in love with that city when I was there over a year ago. I do not want to live in this dirty, dusty, hellish city my whole life, even if I became well off one day.

Another warning, Seattle I hear tends to be pricy. I have known people from there, and they say it costs more there than it does by me which I think is tough as it is. I don't mean to shoot down your aspirations to live there, and I have also heard that it's beautiful and a really up-and-coming place to live. But you should plan for the cost of living increase.

 

[LonelySutton]

Another warning, Seattle I hear tends to be pricy. I have known people from there, and they say it costs more there than it does by me which I think is tough as it is. I don't mean to shoot down your aspirations to live there, and I have also heard that it's beautiful and a really up-and-coming place to live. But you should plan for the cost of living increase.

Agreed. If you want to make the money go the furthest I would look for a place with a low cost of living. They don't have to be horrible. I can't believe the great deals you can get in North Carolina or, if you want, some places in Texas. Also, take in to account Taxes. I pay an "obscene" 4K per year for my dinky condo and I get ZERO out of it since I don't have kids. But in NC the property taxes are more like 1K per year. I even remember Colorado has some decent cost of living places.

 

[VanillaCreme]

if I wanted a boyfriend, I could get one

We get it. You don't like her. Stop with the childish behavior of giggling at something you don't want to understand. Just because you don't like her, doesn't mean others won't like her or appreciate her company. Enough already.

It's fine you don't agree with what's being said, but don't dismiss their honest advice. You learn more by listening than by speaking, something that very few people do.

I dismiss it because if someone tried to advise me that way, I wouldn't feel like they were advising me at all. That's why I spoke up in the first place.

That's fine. You spoke up about something you feel strongly about. But that's not for you to decide if someone's advice is fitting for others just because it's not suitable for you.

 

[anthonyS13]

Another warning, Seattle I hear tends to be pricy. I have known people from there, and they say it costs more there than it does by me which I think is tough as it is. I don't mean to shoot down your aspirations to live there, and I have also heard that it's beautiful and a really up-and-coming place to live. But you should plan for the cost of living increase.

Agreed. If you want to make the money go the furthest I would look for a place with a low cost of living. They don't have to be horrible. I can't believe the great deals you can get in North Carolina or, if you want, some places in Texas. Also, take in to account Taxes. I pay an "obscene" 4K per year for my dinky condo and I get ZERO out of it since I don't have kids. But in NC the property taxes are more like 1K per year. I even remember Colorado has some decent cost of living places.

That's why I also mentioned Portland. It's more expensive than Phoenix, but cheaper than Seattle, New York, or San Francisco. I can't live anywhere like here, Texas, North Carolina, or other low-cost areas as much as I want living to be affordable for me. It's just these areas are full of people I wouldn't agree with or get along with, like how it is in this red state. I'm more likely to find more open, more altruistic people in the Northwest I feel. There's something for everyone up there, and I know because I was in Seattle for a week.

 

[kamya]

People that have issues with people that have dealt with similar situations telling others to "pull themselves up" are just lazy. I really believe that.

I just don't think it's ever that simple, and to suggest that it is seems condescending and insensitive. To put it into perspective, it would be like someone asking you why you didn't finish college, then not even listening to your response and saying it's because you're just lazy and stupid.

Knowing what I know of life now I can safely say that yes, I was lazy. And I was a little *****. And got coddled by my parents a lot. College is nothing compared to the last few years I've worked through. If I went back now it would be a joke to finish. I might some day but I don't see a reason to. I like the job I'm doing and I have a strategy for financial independence in the near future. If I really want to learn something I just do it on my own time.

And he has gotten the chance to explain. All he has are excuses. There is no real legitimate reason that he's presented so far for why he can't work this out on his own. He isn't willing to do that though because he wants someone to swoop in and fix his life for him.

Is there any kind of budget that you are following op? Paying car insurance and phone bills shouldn't be taking up so much money. You don't pay rent right? Where is your money going?

Any helpful suggestions I would even give wouldn't be taken very well. You could sell the car or not drive/pay insurance. Use the bus/bike. Use a cheap prepaid phone. Don't eat out much. Anything over $800/mo is doable. I've lived it. It's possible. I didn't end up homeless. With no rent there should be a few hundred left over every month. Where is it going?

Use the extra money you've saved for classes or moving out.

Like Sutton said, North Carolina an as Texas are pretty cheap. Plus those states have low taxes. I used to want to live in Washington or Oregon. I still might some day. But parts of North Carolina are just as nice. There are spots of more liberal people in those states. Asheville, NC. Austin, TX. Alabama was actually a lot nicer than I thought it would be too. Northwest is going to be expensive.

 

[BeyondShy]

Besides nobody should have to live in the conditions OP described, with gangs, drug dealers, and gunshots. That's nothing short of insane.

Where would you suggest he live, someplace safe like Chicago or Detroit?

Life's a *****, deal with it.

And there it is, the classic worker's mantra that has lead so many to just giving up on life completely, to alcoholism, hard drugs, and total abandon.

"Not everyone makes it. You're probably going to fail. Just roll over and die and get it over with."

This isn't what OP or anyone like him needs. I strongly believe that a person needs to feel like that things are going to get better and that they're going to make it. I feel you need to have some self-worth and be able to feel good about yourself, and that you can't get far without those things. OP needs hope, not defeatism.

Ok, you know what? You got a point but it isn't like she was wrong here. Life is a ***** and you have to deal with it. What is the alternative?

Thank you, Sarah Palin. That nickname is catching on.

Both Callie and Sarah Palin are female and that is where the similarity ends.

Anyway, the point of all this is to help the OP. I knew better than to enter this thread but felt I had to because nobody was telling him to DO anything except surrender to defeat. Why don't people at least give him job ideas? No one's even asked what job he's in or what he'd like to do instead. That's a start.

Give him job ideas? Don't you think he should do that himself? He knows himself better than anyone in here so he is more qualified to answer these questions.

My aspirations are to go to trade school sometime this year to pursue a career in sound design. It's on the other side of town, it's going to be taxing to drive all the way down there, but something needs to happen as I've been desperate to escape this monotonous life and find someone to help me move out and room with.

So what if it is on the other side of town? If that is what you got to do then you do it. Or just wait until they start holding classes closer to your home.

Get that application in to that trade school, don't wait! I've heard Seattle is a beautiful city too. Good luck!

It may be a beautiful city but it isn't cheap. How's he going to get there if he doesn't even want to go across town to school?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Knock it off, everyone stop dragging things on and out. That does not help at all and it only makes it harder for us moderators when you do. You want to file a compliant or report someone fine, but making comments and acting out towards people completely invalidates it.

 

[BeyondShy]

And he has gotten the chance to explain. All he has are excuses. There is no real legitimate reason that he's presented so far for why he can't work this out on his own. He isn't willing to do that though because he wants someone to swoop in and fix his life for him.

This here says it all.

 

[SofiasMami]

I sent you a PM, anthony.

-Teresa

 

[stork_error]

ROTFLMAO at how the replies follow the usual pattern of disintegration.
Anthony I'ts not you dont worry.

About 20 years ago I lived in a city 50 mins NE of the lovely city I live in now.

Living in the boondocks was hell. I lived like a person in poverty because the only jobs available were poverty jobs. Even when i did get a decent paying job in a city close by, i was still unhappy because i was out in the boondocks, alone, with a culture of people who greatly differed from my own. I was basically frozen there due to a number of reasons I would never try to explain on this forum. But i had no simple options to get out so I totally understand where you are at.

At some point, I worked under le table for my auto-mechanic breathing shitty fumes and making 1/2 of minimum wage. It did however get me to a place where I could plan for my return to my home town and it did get me a klunker of a car to get around.

If I were you... I would get on a bus, go down to florida ( somewhere warm) and look for a roomate and get a job working in a restaurant. Then take a student loan and apply to SFU and get an education in whatever you like. Or apply to a university or college somewhere and get student loans and when the loan comes in... go

I get that you don't make enough money to save up to pay for rent, or the trip. Student loan is an option and if that isn't an option. Can you get a credit card and put the trip on that?

Make the move and just go for it like mad.

If somebody here was rich Im sure they would help you. I know I would if i could because I feel your pain. But if people here were in any better shape that you, they wouldn't be here.

All I can suggest is a student loan or a visa. Good luck though !

 

[anthonyS13]

Knock it off, everyone stop dragging things on and out. That does not help at all and it only makes it harder for us moderators when you do. You want to file a compliant or report someone fine, but making comments and acting out towards people completely invalidates it.

It's as though everyone is pitted against each other on this site nowadays. Something happened between the time I got an account here, and now. It needs to be reversed.

To all those who ridicule me: You're not helping, only hurting. We are part of the human species and were designed to thrive with each other's help as social animals. No person should have to go at their problems alone. I seek others interested in helping find a place to start life and get used to living on my own, that is all. Was it worth starting such a storm?