Straight, Gay, Transgender, Other?

[timdjohn]

I guess just my general curiosity. But wondering the percentage what sexual orientation others posting in here are. Also do you think that your particular orientation has any bearing on your general feeling of loneliness?
I do hope all feel free to post.

BTW I myself am a gay male, and feel I would be lonely no matter what orientation I would have been.
I noticed I forgot Bisexual, Sorry to all that may be Bisexual. There are so many different groups anymore. ;-)

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Tim,

How are you today? I'm glad you've joined and hope you will find a supportive community here.

LG

 

[sweetestbaby]

straight but my loneliness makes me question my orientation often (and sometimes even my gender identity), not just for the sake of loneliness but because I feel I'd be more confident in courting someone of the same gender.

 

[lonelygirl]

Sweetest,

Can you tell me what you mean by that?

Also, how old are you?

If you are over 25 and you sexually are attracted to women, you are most likely straight but lacking self-confidence in terms of approaching women.

 

[sweetestbaby]

What I mean is I'm usually straight (I'm naturally only attracted to girls) but sometimes I get the urge to want to test my orientation but mainly because of loneliness and because I feel that I'd be more capable of getting a guy to like me than a girl regardless of whether I feel the same way or not.

 

[lonelygirl]

Wow. I hope you wouldn't act on that urge, as it may end up causing you a lot of emotional hurt. Why are you so scared of women but not men? What you need is a wing-man. DId you ever see the movie, "Swingers"?

The guys talk each other up, and go and approach women in a friendly way. One guy compliments his buddy and helps them charm the ladies.

 

[sweetestbaby]

I guess I find it easier to court a guy because women tend to be the more rare and valuable gender, guys are often less about physical looks, gay guys know first hand how hard it can be to get another quality guy, a guy would find it flattering for the other person to make the first move, and less attraction to guys means I'll be less shy or nervous.

 

[timdjohn]

I guess I find it easier to court a guy because women tend to be the more rare and valuable gender, guys are often less about physical looks, gay guys know first hand how hard it can be to get another quality guy, a guy would find it flattering for the other person to make the first move, and less attraction to guys means I'll be less shy or nervous.

Well speaking as a gay man, Gay men are many times Vapid N=vain creatures. They are driven almost solely on looks. In general Men are driven sexually by visual elements, whereas women tend to be more emotionally driven. This is why men are much more into Porn then gals are. And also why men usually do not require foreplay.

Is true many guys would be flattered if a move was made on them, but would then expect sex soon after.

You almost speak as if you have possibly acted on this emotion. Which statistically is common by your age. Just be careful, as men with men can be I feel much more mentally damaging then a straight couple can be.

 

[timdjohn]

Wow. I hope you wouldn't act on that urge, as it may end up causing you a lot of emotional hurt. Why are you so scared of women but not men? What you need is a wing-man. DId you ever see the movie, "Swingers"?

The guys talk each other up, and go and approach women in a friendly way. One guy compliments his buddy and helps them charm the ladies.

Oh guys can talk each other up, but many times rip each other to shreds as well. It is all about competition. When it comes to female there is little else that a group of males will be less competitive over.

As for why he may not be as scared of approaching men over women. Well He is a guy. He has certain things in common, one being body language and spoken language (meaning guy talk) already known. There need not be the awkward icebreaker needed. He could be in a bar setting playing pool perhaps and talk to another dude next to him about anything with out the fear of rejection as it is just "guy talk" the rejection thing can be dealt with if he wants to see if it can go further.

I am sure this would be similar in an all female setting as well.

 

[sweetestbaby]

I'm not that sexual, so I've surprisingly never acted on it yet.

 

[Bull]

thanks for doing this poll. i feel more comfortable in here now
i had no idea there was so much of the community in here. i think my orientation has alot to do with my loneliness.

im les and really relate to what youre saying too sweetbaby about women being so into looks and have the same kind of things on my mind that you do. im only sexually attracted to women but ive been thinking about femming up and dating guys just because it would be so much easier than keeping on trying to handle women. i just dont know if i can take the stress anymore. dont worry about what other people say to you besides by your nick it looks like youre already making your own decisions. good

I guess just my general curiosity. But wondering the percentage what sexual orientation others posting in here are. Also do you think that your particular orientation has any bearing on your general feeling of loneliness?
I do hope all feel free to post.

BTW I myself am a gay male, and feel I would be lonely no matter what orientation I would have been.
I noticed I forgot Bisexual, Sorry to all that may be Bisexual. There are so many different groups anymore. ;-)

 

[lonelygirl]

Tim,

I think you made an excellent point. In my experience as a straight woman, lol, a lot of the gay male friends I've had have focused a lot on looks. That's something that makes me feel really bad for gay men--that if they are overweight, or just plain, not in great shape, or not a sharp dresser, or any of the above combined--that they would be passed by. Even if they are super awesome, funny, and nice people inside! I really don't like that aspect of 'gay culture'--that physical attractiveness is number one. What about people who are pretty outside and ugly inside?

I have one sister like that. Outside, she's beautiful, fit, and sexy, but inside, she's very selfish and sometimes is mean!

 

[sweetestbaby]

You'd be shocked at how much the girls where I live are so much more picky and superficial than the guys.

 

[lonelygirl]

Where do you live? And what age group is so shallow? Where I live, the women are not picky at all! In fact, we have way more pretty girls that are available than decent looking men who are available. In fact, even just average men around here are very arrogant!

 

[Elaeagnus]

I'm going to weigh in here and say that I think that both men and women are equally likely to be shallow or make decisions based on physical appearance.  However, I would say that about 95% of the people I know (both men and women) do not consider looks to be a top priority when they are choosing friends, dates, or romantic partners.  While physical looks can be important in forming an initial attraction, I know almost no one who acts on purely physical attraction.  Most people I know form feelings for someone and then become physically attracted to them.

 

[unkn0wn]

straight and proud of it

 

[Blue Sky]

I'm straight too

 

[Lost_N_Alone]

I'm straight too, but haven't had a partner in years so does that make me asexual?

 

[sweetestbaby]

I'm straight too, but haven't had a partner in years so does that make me asexual?

From what I know, you can be asexual and still be in a relationship. Isn't asexual when there's no desire to have sex? but labels are overrated, so no one should have to consider you asexual unless you consider yourself it.

 

[angelus]

I'm going to weigh in here and say that I think that both men and women are equally likely to be shallow or make decisions based on physical appearance.  However, I would say that about 95% of the people I know (both men and women) do not consider looks to be a top priority when they are choosing friends, dates, or romantic partners.  While physical looks can be important in forming an initial attraction, I know almost no one who acts on purely physical attraction.  Most people I know form feelings for someone and then become physically attracted to them.

I think you make an excellent point Elaeagnus,I wonder if some of what everyone here is experiencing isn't a symptom of a much bigger issue.It seems to me that people in general can be terribly shallow,I don't know it just seems sometimes as if selfishness in general has become some sort of modern day religion or something.Personally I am a strait male,I tend to be very realtionship oriented,I don't like having flings or as they use to say when I was a teenger playing the field,even as a teenager I didn't want to.I've always been a bit guarded about that side of my life because I will admit it matters alot,when I care for a woman what she thinks of me,what she does matters,she matters.I don't like the idea of getting involved with someone that will play fast and loose with my heart.I am not like overly dependant on realtionships but I won't pretend like they don't mean a great deal to me.I think its harder to find that speical someone nowdays no matter your orientation cause its people that are different,all across the board not one particular group.One last thing,corny as this may sound I hope everyone here that wants to finds that speical someone at some point no matter your orientation,good luck and best wishes to all