Straight, Gay, Transgender, Other?

[nena]

I'm Bisexual

 

[lonelygirl]

I'm going to weigh in here and say that I think that both men and women are equally likely to be shallow or make decisions based on physical appearance. However, I would say that about 95% of the people I know (both men and women) do not consider looks to be a top priority when they are choosing friends, dates, or romantic partners. While physical looks can be important in forming an initial attraction, I know almost no one who acts on purely physical attraction. Most people I know form feelings for someone and then become physically attracted to them.

I think you make an excellent point Elaeagnus,I wonder if some of what everyone here is experiencing isn't a symptom of a much bigger issue.It seems to me that people in general can be terribly shallow,I don't know it just seems sometimes as if selfishness in general has become some sort of modern day religion or something.Personally I am a strait male,I tend to be very realtionship oriented,I don't like having flings or as they use to say when I was a teenger playing the field,even as a teenager I didn't want to.I've always been a bit guarded about that side of my life because I will admit it matters alot,when I care for a woman what she thinks of me,what she does matters,she matters.I don't like the idea of getting involved with someone that will play fast and loose with my heart.I am not like overly dependant on realtionships but I won't pretend like they don't mean a great deal to me.I think its harder to find that speical someone nowdays no matter your orientation cause its people that are different,all across the board not one particular group.One last thing,corny as this may sound I hope everyone here that wants to finds that speical someone at some point no matter your orientation,good luck and best wishes to all

What a very sweet, genuine thought. I really do appreciate this. I agree that our society has become so selfish. As I said, people used to live in clans and stronger communities. We now have the financial 'luxury' of having each one of us in our own bedroom, but this creates a lonely life!

 

[timdjohn]

Tim,

I think you made an excellent point. In my experience as a straight woman, lol, a lot of the gay male friends I've had have focused a lot on looks. That's something that makes me feel really bad for gay men--that if they are overweight, or just plain, not in great shape, or not a sharp dresser, or any of the above combined--that they would be passed by. Even if they are super awesome, funny, and nice people inside! I really don't like that aspect of 'gay culture'--that physical attractiveness is number one. What about people who are pretty outside and ugly inside?

I have one sister like that. Outside, she's beautiful, fit, and sexy, but inside, she's very selfish and sometimes is mean!

Well in the gay community it can be a sexual death sentence to be overweight. But there are few that do like em built larger. Usually called "chubby chasers" or then there is the "Bear" scene which is usually hairy large guys.

Luckily for whatever reason most gay men dress as well as they can afford. That stereotype is true. But there are a few you see that can be ok lookers but dress so **** dumpy that even if they were straight they could not get laid. You don’t have to have money to dress decent. There are useable nice clothes at the Salvation Army and such. I am taking about the guys that will go on a date with ripped up dirty clothes.

Plenty of Great looking Gay men that are butt ugly on the inside. Most are usually the very young, we call them Twinkies. They basically think their honeysuckle don’t stink. I just stop and think, "wait till your old"

But you say that is an aspect of gay culture you dislike. It’s basically just the effect of what happens when you get 2 men together sexually. There are no women involved to keep the guys in check.

I believe all me to be sexual visually. And if it was not such a hang up in our society that many men would have sex with each other, as guys are just horn dogs. Women keep men inline for the most part. Not tat women are not sexual, far from it. Just that they don’t put up with the 24/7 erection nonsense lol

 

[timdjohn]

thanks for doing this poll. i feel more comfortable in here now
i had no idea there was so much of the community in here. i think my orientation has alot to do with my loneliness.

im les and really relate to what youre saying too sweetbaby about women being so into looks and have the same kind of things on my mind that you do. im only sexually attracted to women but ive been thinking about femming up and dating guys just because it would be so much easier than keeping on trying to handle women. i just dont know if i can take the stress anymore. dont worry about what other people say to you besides by your nick it looks like youre already making your own decisions. good

I guess just my general curiosity. But wondering the percentage what sexual orientation others posting in here are. Also do you think that your particular orientation has any bearing on your general feeling of loneliness?
I do hope all feel free to post.

BTW I myself am a gay male, and feel I would be lonely no matter what orientation I would have been.
I noticed I forgot Bisexual, Sorry to all that may be Bisexual. There are so many different groups anymore. ;-)

No Problem Bull, I hope you will register. it helps us communicate back to you.
Also I am glad you feel better in ding this poll. that is why I posted it. I sort of hope they make it a sticky so other newbies can come in here and see it is a place for all of every lifestyle and walks.

 

[lonelygirl]

Tim,

Thanks for being so honest. I agree totally with your points--that we women are the yin to men's yang---you guys need us to help keep a system of checks and balances! lol

I guess with two men, there can be a real situation of sex sex sex. Not that there is anything wrong with that--I happen to be an extremely sexual person, but that's neither here nor there-- ;-)

What I'm saying is that I'm glad that we women can use our brains rather than just our eyes. For example, women can just close their eyes and fantasize about a sexual partner--men need to spend money buying porn.

I also don't like that aspect of men---that they are so easily manipulated by beautiful women--or in gay men's case, they are easily manipulated by beautiful men--you guys are such suckers! lol

I used to be young and beautiful, for just a moment in my life. I had very little self-confidence and never met a man that would appreciate me for me--it hurt my self-esteem deeply.

 

[lonely2beeme]

when i was young and just figureing out sexualityi was completely turned off by males
i wanted to have bf , hold hands and even kiss but when it came to sex i got "grossed out "
was the word that ran thru my mind .......
i grew up in the 80's when alot of bisexuality was very popular among guys and gals
at the time i was sure that i was going to end up a lesbian
my best friend and i both came from very strict families ,we were not allowed to date
unfortunately everyones bodies wakes up sexually at different ages and mine was very developed by 13
so what happens when 2 girls who adore each other cant date ,want sex and ccan have sleep overs?
we became a couple secretly and it was alot of discovery and fumblings but it was one of the best relationships i had for years ,only reason we stopped seeing each other was my family moved overseas in the military and i cried
since it was a small town i had left (ozark .AL) hahaha very small
she ended up getting married and haveing 2 children before finally running away to be with another woman.
i came to japan found out thati found young male/female asians to be strangely unisex
lack of body hair and muscles and soon i found myself dateing japanese men one of whom i married eventually.
i even dated asian females here which was ok too but prefer american females, now as i get ready to get divorced after 17 years i think what will happen will be lesbian, straight or bi once i return to america?
and i dont think i really labal my sexual orientation anymore ,i think i will fall for whoevers personality fits mine and
if they meet my needs emotionally regardless of thier equipment lol
i do find myself desireing straight (w4m ) sex much more than the odd stiring for w4w sex anymore
it could just be conditioning of last 17 years or maybe when i was younger i was confused or it came out of a nessesity since there wasent any other sexual outlet ,who knows and i dont question it nor do i worry about it .
as far as does it affect my lonliness/depression problems i think no, i had one japanese girlfriend that was so demanding and such a handful with a terriable temper that gave much more emotional damage then some guys i dated so i think all relationships can go good or bad and has nothingto do with straight or gay
same with the happiness factor ,i know several gay men and some are estreamly happy all the time, usually the ones who are drag queens 24/7 =), and of the other gay men who look like straight guys well about half and half i would say .......
some seem constantly depressed of being homosexual like they hate being that way cause it makes life so hard.
the other half doesnt seem affected by being gay in any way. so lonliness and sexual orientation have less to do with each other than just ones emotional stability, personality ,and outlook on life i would say ..........

 

[lonelygirl]

Great advice, Lonely2bee.

I think that we humans are all on a spectrum of sexuality, leaning more one way or the other, but theoretically, I think anyone can be gay or anyone can be straight, depending on environment.

For example, many straight men do have gay sex in jails and prisons. It's just an outlet for sexual tension.

In my 20's I met a very beautiful bisexual girl who tried to seduce me. She was beautiful and very sexy, and she kissed me several times...

However, I felt afraid. Afraid of being gay, afraid of crossing something inside of me, some moral line, that would not be repairable, so I did not sleep with her.

I do find many females very sexy and would happily go bi with Angelina Jolie, and several other beautiful bisexual women.

However, for me that is not a viable lifestyle, so will most likely never act on my fantasy...

 

[lonely2beeme]

lol @ angelina jolie , mmmmm.......the things i would do with her .......hahahhahaa
lets not even start with that topic we better go to private pm lol *drools*

lol yea sexuality can be very confusing , but i found the less i worry
about it the less it has to do with anything in my life that causes me stress anymore
i still desire women sexually but emotionally i prefer a man , then we compromise
i just watch a lil girl on girl action films together and the whole problem is solved lol
what guys dont like lesbo porn ?lol i never had a guy say "ewwwwwww" yet
so i dont feel i miss to much lol inorporate ,intergrate ,or just do what feels right.
there is always ways to incorporate all your needs without feeling ashamed
or denying and obsessing over it . sexuality between humans is normal and
needed, i believe ..............regardless of your sexual orientation

 

[lonelygirl]

Lonely2bee, wanna hear something funny? When I imagine a handsome young gay guy, I SOOOO wanna convert him. lol. There are so many very handsome gay men and somehow, I feel it's such a tragedy and such a waste!

 

[lonely2beeme]

hahahahahah me too! when i was very young as i said it was the 80's and i wasent allowed todate but in school i did and i had a bf everyone said he was gay ,he said he was bi like most of the group lol but he was suppose to be my bf and we shared clothes,makeup,jewelry and stuff. i remeber asking him why we never kissed only held hands and he said to me "if it was gonna happen between us ,....it would have already" lol i didnt get it that he was gay totally gay he was just so pretty,after graduation he was a senior i was a freshman, he moved to san francisco and i never heard from him again.lol
yea i thought i could save him from wanting men if he would give me a chance to turn him.hahahahha after he left my best friend and i (a girl) became a couple as i said above lol and yet i marrried and have 3 children so i dont put much concern in sexuality preference issues as they change many times over a lifetime,but wanting to turn beautiful young gay men hahhahah i think lots of girls feel compelled to i know i sure did/do lol
i bet some guys use that as a way to get girls to sleep with them when they are really straight hahaha just say they are gay ......funny

 

[Colette]

Lonely2bee, wanna hear something funny? When I imagine a handsome young gay guy, I SOOOO wanna convert him. lol. There are so many very handsome gay men and somehow, I feel it's such a tragedy and such a waste!

You are too much!