That Awkward Moment

[AutumgGypsy]

Last semester, I happened to be in a college class where the teacher encouraged a lot of class discussion. Usually in these classes, I just seem to skate by without contributing or take the hit in my grade (I still manage an A though! ha-hah!) Some are more picky than others. Anyways, one day my professor got really aggravated, and made a point to say how quiet the class was. After he JUST GOT DONE saying that only about 5 people talk, and the rest of the class is deadly silent, he decided to point me out directly and say "Like you...do you even talk.. ever?". And the entire class was hysterical.

Anyone else tired or dealing with moment where someone has to make a verbal point of how quiet you are? The thing that got my goat on this one, was that he singled me out specifically against a whole roomful of people. What made me more quiet than anyone else? I also have no idea what the point was of making me the laughing stock of the whole class.

I honestly don't think its so strange to be quiet, and I hate forcing myself to be outgoing and talkative against my nature just to avoid being singled out and made fun of.

 

[Sigma]

I've actually experienced this exact thing, but I just replied a "nope" and put my head on the table to look outside.

 

[perfanoff]

He can't force you to talk. If he wants to make a point of it he should make it mandatory and have people prepare and take turns.

I think they were probably laughing at him more than at you. It's a bit pathetic of him to show his frustration like that, to be looking for somebody to blame.

Sounds like a pretty inept instructor to me.

 

[ucxb]

Awkward moments can be real shallow situations, Autumg, it is a shame you had to deal with such.

 

[Rosebolt]

It's not strange to be quiet. A good listener doesn't speak. People used to make fun of me at school for being so quiet as well, but never a teacher.

In my opinion he is an unprofessional person and should be fired right away.

And indeed, there is no need to force yourself to be outgoing and talkative when it's not in your nature. Be yourself, silent beauties are the best in my opinion.

 

[Lowlander]

I think a teacher isn't supposed to say anything like that. I am quite fond of silence sometimes.

 

[painter's radio]

It's unprofessional but I found it funny, sorry

But yeah, I've had "normal" people (strangers I don't really know at the bar or in social settings etc) comment on how quiet I am and it's really annoying. One time at my first day of work at a new job, this girl said to me "You don't talk much, do you?" so I started to say something in reply to it and she started talking over me, to someone else! lol. Yes, that's exactly why I don't talk much.

 

[weirdquietgirl]

This happens to me all the time. People I just met and even complete strangers will always point out how quiet I am. It always happens when I least expect it and when I am making an effort to be more talkative. A lot of times when I am actually saying something, these same people are not even listening. It makes me feel like I'm being attacked and it makes me not want to talk to that person at all. Usually I just look at them like I don't know what they're talking about because I don't really know how to respond.

 

[AutumgGypsy]

Sorry that so many of you have experienced the same thing. Thank you for posting to let me know I'm not alone in this feeling.

 

[blackdot]

at that moment you should have stood up and started dancing... but without saying a word.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I don't know if I would have been unable to reply with "You...do you know how to shut up...ever?" to the instructor.

 

[painter's radio]

This happens to me all the time. People I just met and even complete strangers will always point out how quiet I am. It always happens when I least expect it and when I am making an effort to be more talkative. A lot of times when I am actually saying something, these same people are not even listening. It makes me feel like I'm being attacked and it makes me not want to talk to that person at all. Usually I just look at them like I don't know what they're talking about because I don't really know how to respond.

It's such a stupid and tactless thing to say to someone. Obviously people are quiet for a reason - usually they're self-conscious/shy or just don't ******* have anything to say... either way, it's rude to point it out, just like telling someone what a stupid haircut or a big nose they have.

 

[weirdquietgirl]

This happens to me all the time. People I just met and even complete strangers will always point out how quiet I am. It always happens when I least expect it and when I am making an effort to be more talkative. A lot of times when I am actually saying something, these same people are not even listening. It makes me feel like I'm being attacked and it makes me not want to talk to that person at all. Usually I just look at them like I don't know what they're talking about because I don't really know how to respond.

It's such a stupid and tactless thing to say to someone. Obviously people are quiet for a reason - usually they're self-conscious/shy or just don't ******* have anything to say... either way, it's rude to point it out, just like telling someone what a stupid haircut or a big nose they have.

I agree it is tactless. If most people think it's rude to point out how loud someone is or to tell someon to shut up, then why is it okay to tell someone else that they need to talk?

I don't think people mean to be rude when they ask this, but it bothers me when they do this when they just met me. It's like they don't know that some people are shy or less talkative when they meet someone new and need some time to open up more.

A couple months ago, a cousin on my dad's side that I've never met came to visit. We were going somewhere and she was talking the whole time about herself and her life. I didn't really have anything to say, so I just listened. She then starts asking why I am so quiet and then commented that it was like I'm not here. That comment really bothered me, but I tried to let it go because English isn't her first language and beside that comment, I liked her. What I didn't understand was my brother wasn't saying that much to her and she didn't say anything about him.

Sorry if this post is too long and if I'm threadjacking, I just needed to say this. It's somethingthat's bothered me my whole life.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I've always been a quiet kid all my life. I still am, in large social situations. I tend to prefer listening and observing.

People always comment at my quietness. It used to be embarrassing, but now I'm pretty immune to it cos I'm entitled to be quiet and hear how much honeysuckle people talk about and laugh about them.

Don't worry, OP, the quiet ones will always have the last laugh. Muahahaha.

 

[Edward W]

I've always been a quiet kid all my life. I still am, in large social situations. I tend to prefer listening and observing.

Thats me as well.

Recently gained a bit more confidence, but doesn't mean I always use it. Up to the point of having people stare or laugh at me I don't give a *^$£ what people think of me.

 

[Rosebolt]

A couple months ago, a cousin on my dad's side that I've never met came to visit. We were going somewhere and she was talking the whole time about herself and her life. I didn't really have anything to say, so I just listened. She then starts asking why I am so quiet and then commented that it was like I'm not here. That comment really bothered me, but I tried to let it go because English isn't her first language and beside that comment, I liked her. What I didn't understand was my brother wasn't saying that much to her and she didn't say anything about him.

Either her life story was directed at you instead of your brother, or it's because your brother is a guy, or it is because of the general impression you make, which might different from the one your brother makes. In the sense of, the way you dress, and more importantly, body language.

I understand the comment bothers you, but she probably said it because she cared for your opinion, and because she doesn't really know how you are, meaning she expected a different reaction.

By no means does that mean you gave the wrong reaction by the way. Long live silence.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I've always been a quiet kid all my life. I still am, in large social situations. I tend to prefer listening and observing.

Thats me as well.

Recently gained a bit more confidence, but doesn't mean I always use it. Up to the point of having people stare or laugh at me I don't give a *^$£ what people think of me.

I feel exactly the same! *high five*

 

[Unwanted94]

Some people seem to have an issue with listeners and observers. I wonder why...?

 

[Rosebolt]

Some people seem to have an issue with listeners and observers. I wonder why...?

Control.

Humans are creatures that crave control. When someone is quiet and observing, the people around that person have less control over what he is thinking and how he percieves things.

 

[AutumgGypsy]

Some people seem to have an issue with listeners and observers. I wonder why...?

Control.

Humans are creatures that crave control. When someone is quiet and observing, the people around that person have less control over what he is thinking and how he percieves things.

Yea I agree with that. I also think people are terrified of those who are "different". If you aren't talking a lot like everyone else, then you are different somehow. Different = fear. And we know all the problems that can lead to.

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I don't know if I would have been unable to reply with "You...do you know how to shut up...ever?" to the instructor.

Haha! Love it. I wish I had the guts to say that.