humourless
Well-known member
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2019
- Messages
- 362
- Reaction score
- 0
Well my best friend used to be passive, quiet and non assertive. I notice now that over the years he has gradually become less inhibited and much more assertive. Id like to take some credit for that but really he has done it on his own by taking on new jobs that require him to speak up and not keep a low profile.
But I don't like people who are too opinionated and argumentative. That's for sure. You know the type. They like to contradict everything you say, just so they get your undivided attention. I feel like saying "Moving on. Next please."
I think we all do need someone who is a good listener though. And that means validating the good things you say, not just attacking your weak points.
A too passive friend is like talking to yourself. They need to think for themselves a little. Otherwise you lose their respect and start not to notice them. Then they start to feel being taken for granted and the resentment builds. I know because I used to be passive in conversations. In fact I challenged my best friend over this. I said "you need to speak your mind more" and now he does. Also I think he is not used to thinking about topics for conversation. He had let himself become a bit sleepy. he needed to learn to think in the moment. Not be a daydreamer.
I was like that. But now I am an amazing person. I sometimes have to stop and appreciate how far Ive come and how lucky people are to have the privilege of engaging with me.
But I don't like people who are too opinionated and argumentative. That's for sure. You know the type. They like to contradict everything you say, just so they get your undivided attention. I feel like saying "Moving on. Next please."
I think we all do need someone who is a good listener though. And that means validating the good things you say, not just attacking your weak points.
A too passive friend is like talking to yourself. They need to think for themselves a little. Otherwise you lose their respect and start not to notice them. Then they start to feel being taken for granted and the resentment builds. I know because I used to be passive in conversations. In fact I challenged my best friend over this. I said "you need to speak your mind more" and now he does. Also I think he is not used to thinking about topics for conversation. He had let himself become a bit sleepy. he needed to learn to think in the moment. Not be a daydreamer.
I was like that. But now I am an amazing person. I sometimes have to stop and appreciate how far Ive come and how lucky people are to have the privilege of engaging with me.