oopsiedoop
Well-known member
Exactly. There's things I want to change, but they only effect me. No one else should care about those things. If they do, they wouldn't really like me even if I changed, it would all be just a fraud.
The Distant People
- Thread starter Rayri
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
Winterlong
Well-known member
Rayri said:
thank you
F
fox
Guest
I could not be with some one who is distance, or quiet, or does not have much confidence, because am too much like that myself.. it would never work..
My partner is very confident, which is good, it makes up for my lack of it.
My partner is very confident, which is good, it makes up for my lack of it.
innerfyre
Well-known member
Honestly, I enjoy being around people who dont think negatively all the time, I mean of course we can all be negative sometimes but I find my emotions/moods can be fragile and if I am around people that are always happy (not necessarily confident), I feel that their emotions sink into me and makes me feel better. I get some major emotion swings, some days I just hate absolutely everything and feel so depressed and lonely. Other days I feel like things are looking up...then I come across someone negative (again, not necessarily someone with no confidence) and I feel my emotions crashing into the neverending abyss of blackness again.
I know many people including myself have no confidence, and I do find many people with very high self-confidence may come off as arrogant/ignorant. Although I can usually tell if someone is just a complete ass or if they are just very confident. Take for example my one roommate (I am in a suite of 12 people, 6 guys 6 girls), she is very pretty, very happy and confident...yet she doesnt come off as arrogant or ignorant. I mean heck, usually she doesn't interact with people UNLESS someone initiates a conversation with her. I think she may be a little shy, or it may very well be the fact that she has already been through 4 years of uni and is now doing 1 more year of college for another diploma (I think, she doesnt talk much).I find the fact that she doesnt come off as arrogant VERY attractive, she seems strong and dedicated. I know when I see her in the morning and we happen to have a conversation, or a passing "Hi" or "hello" it makes me feel good inside and because much of the time I am feeling lonely or sad, it brings me up and gives me a little boost for the time being and pushes me away from the edge I am getting ever close to.
Overall I still generally feel lonely and many times awkward in social situations, BUT if I have learned ONE thing from people who do NOT suffer from even mild loneliness or confidence issues is the fact that they are happy a majority of the time and I try my best to be happy when I am around people, as I know it will attract other happy people and make me feel better too.
There is no harm in trying to be around happy confident people (the ones that dont come off as arrogant) to see if it works for you, and if it doesn't...well at least you will know that you have tried. Although if its not possible I always try my best to look on things in a positive way rather than a negative way. I find that helps with my internalized emotions that I try to hide from everyone.
I think many people think that I am a very happy go lucky person...but really on the inside I am lost, lonely and much of the time sad because I am constantly hiding my emotions. I broke down once when I was with a few of my friends at someone's house. I had smoked quite a bit of weed and had a crapload to drink, and I just ******* broke down. I went outside and sobbed for so long, and that was a time when I wish I had a shoulder to cry on or someone to hug.
Just my thoughts.
I know many people including myself have no confidence, and I do find many people with very high self-confidence may come off as arrogant/ignorant. Although I can usually tell if someone is just a complete ass or if they are just very confident. Take for example my one roommate (I am in a suite of 12 people, 6 guys 6 girls), she is very pretty, very happy and confident...yet she doesnt come off as arrogant or ignorant. I mean heck, usually she doesn't interact with people UNLESS someone initiates a conversation with her. I think she may be a little shy, or it may very well be the fact that she has already been through 4 years of uni and is now doing 1 more year of college for another diploma (I think, she doesnt talk much
).I find the fact that she doesnt come off as arrogant VERY attractive, she seems strong and dedicated. I know when I see her in the morning and we happen to have a conversation, or a passing "Hi" or "hello" it makes me feel good inside and because much of the time I am feeling lonely or sad, it brings me up and gives me a little boost for the time being and pushes me away from the edge I am getting ever close to.Overall I still generally feel lonely and many times awkward in social situations, BUT if I have learned ONE thing from people who do NOT suffer from even mild loneliness or confidence issues is the fact that they are happy a majority of the time and I try my best to be happy when I am around people, as I know it will attract other happy people and make me feel better too.
There is no harm in trying to be around happy confident people (the ones that dont come off as arrogant) to see if it works for you, and if it doesn't...well at least you will know that you have tried. Although if its not possible I always try my best to look on things in a positive way rather than a negative way. I find that helps with my internalized emotions that I try to hide from everyone.
I think many people think that I am a very happy go lucky person...but really on the inside I am lost, lonely and much of the time sad because I am constantly hiding my emotions. I broke down once when I was with a few of my friends at someone's house. I had smoked quite a bit of weed and had a crapload to drink, and I just ******* broke down. I went outside and sobbed for so long, and that was a time when I wish I had a shoulder to cry on or someone to hug.
Just my thoughts.
I thought being with someone confident and pretty sorted, happy would be good for me as I'm none of those things. In practice it was a nightmare. He had zero understanding of how I felt or what I was going through on a daily basis or the massive effort I had made for him. I felt I annoyed him all the time and in the end he turned round made me feel like nothing and called me pathetic.
Now this might have had little to do with the differing levels of confidence and everything to do with him being a honeysuckle so I wouldn't completely right off someone confident again. Only they would have to have slightly more sensitivity and compassion.
I do think I'd be better with someone where there is less of a gap, perhaps someone slightly more confident to lead the way or slightly less and I'd look after them.
Now this might have had little to do with the differing levels of confidence and everything to do with him being a honeysuckle so I wouldn't completely right off someone confident again. Only they would have to have slightly more sensitivity and compassion.
I do think I'd be better with someone where there is less of a gap, perhaps someone slightly more confident to lead the way or slightly less and I'd look after them.
IgnoredOne
Well-known member
annik said:
I think that's probably the case. I'm fairly confident these days, but I came from a background where I used to be very depressed. So while I can be firm with my girlfriend, I've always been considerate in many ways on whether she was not feeling well, or even her present food obsession at the moment. Guessing what she wants(since she never voices it much) and then surprising her with it always seems to lead to a virtually childish glee on her part, and it thrills me.
In general, the majority of people tend to want to be with people who are easy. Easy to get along with, easy to live with.
Confident = not likely to have complicated issues that arise from low self esteem.
Happy = not likely to experience complex emotions that arise from being sad or a struggle with depression.
In short, people are lazy and shallow. They don't want to deal with complex, heavy, interesting, bittersweet personalities. In the end it's their loss however. Those who don't know the lowest lows will never know the highest highs.
Confident = not likely to have complicated issues that arise from low self esteem.
Happy = not likely to experience complex emotions that arise from being sad or a struggle with depression.
In short, people are lazy and shallow. They don't want to deal with complex, heavy, interesting, bittersweet personalities. In the end it's their loss however. Those who don't know the lowest lows will never know the highest highs.
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
I want an introduction thread from Rayri
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Yes introduce yourself in the New Members section
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