The Girl Who Can't Make Friends With Girls...

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I'd like to make friends with more Girls. So if you figure anything out, let me know lol.
 
dalenadang said:
I don't know what it is, but females just don't like me. I haven't had a female friend in five years. I don't know what's changed. I used to have a lot of female friends... in elementary school, even in my first two years of high school, I had at least one girl friend.

I'm a girl who really wants female friends, to go shopping with, have girl talk with, etc., but I just can't. I feel like a freak sometimes because of this.

It's a lonely life... it is.

I am woman who easily makes friends with other women so here are my suggestions on how I've learned to relate to them better:

1.) Women do/say things for a reason. If they're going on and on about something that doesn't seem important or seems trivial, there's probably a deeper reason for it such as...self esteem, social belonging, fear of something, concern, loneliness, and a bajilliony other reasons. Guys are more likely to be blunt and come right out with things but women often communicate in ways that are more covert/muted. Sometimes to relate to her you have to ask questions and be a bit of a detective.

2.) Some women are more guarded than others and take a while to let someone into their lives. Are you pursuing friendships too fast/aggressively and scaring them off or are you not being forward enough? Maybe she doesn't know that you're interested in being friends?

3.) Pay attention to her special interests besides the typical girly honeysuckle. What are her hobbies and interests and is there anything tangible you could suggest you do together like go to an art museum, go hiking/biking, volunteer at an animal shelter together, see a sci-fi movie, share an article you read that you think might interest her, take a yoga class together? There are a lot of possibilities.

4.) It might not be anything you're doing. Women are not encouraged to have close friendships with other women. It's extremely common for women to say that they have less contact with once close female friends after getting married and/or having children.

5.) If you use the words: *****, skank, cunt, whore, etc, COMPLETELY remove these words from your vocabulary IMMEDIATELY. Once I hear a girl use these words to describe someone (anyone) I lose interest in being her friend, permanently.

I really love women, and want to spend time with them so that basic need of mine helps me to have female friends. I hope these suggestions are helpful to you!
 
roguewave said:
dalenadang said:
I don't know what it is, but females just don't like me. I haven't had a female friend in five years. I don't know what's changed. I used to have a lot of female friends... in elementary school, even in my first two years of high school, I had at least one girl friend.

I'm a girl who really wants female friends, to go shopping with, have girl talk with, etc., but I just can't. I feel like a freak sometimes because of this.

It's a lonely life... it is.

I am woman who easily makes friends with other women so here are my suggestions on how I've learned to relate to them better:

1.) Women do/say things for a reason. If they're going on and on about something that doesn't seem important or seems trivial, there's probably a deeper reason for it such as...self esteem, social belonging, fear of something, concern, loneliness, and a bajilliony other reasons. Guys are more likely to be blunt and come right out with things but women often communicate in ways that are more covert/muted. Sometimes to relate to her you have to ask questions and be a bit of a detective.

2.) Some women are more guarded than others and take a while to let someone into their lives. Are you pursuing friendships too fast/aggressively and scaring them off or are you not being forward enough? Maybe she doesn't know that you're interested in being friends?

3.) Pay attention to her special interests besides the typical girly honeysuckle. What are her hobbies and interests and is there anything tangible you could suggest you do together like go to an art museum, go hiking/biking, volunteer at an animal shelter together, see a sci-fi movie, share an article you read that you think might interest her, take a yoga class together? There are a lot of possibilities.

4.) It might not be anything you're doing. Women are not encouraged to have close friendships with other women. It's extremely common for women to say that they have less contact with once close female friends after getting married and/or having children.

5.) If you use the words: *****, skank, cunt, whore, etc, COMPLETELY remove these words from your vocabulary IMMEDIATELY. Once I hear a girl use these words to describe someone (anyone) I lose interest in being her friend, permanently.

I really love women, and want to spend time with them so that basic need of mine helps me to have female friends. I hope these suggestions are helpful to you!

I lot of that sounds like me. I have traits of female personality, if that makes sense. Maybe that's one of the reasons I'm so midunderstood, besides bad socila/communication skills.
 
those are the traits of followers

there is a reason men are blunt, historically speaking, indecision leads to death.

historically speaking, the woman had more time to hmm and haw whilst being dragged around by her hair.

not condoning it, lol, just keeping it real
 
Lost Soul said:
roguewave said:
dalenadang said:
I don't know what it is, but females just don't like me. I haven't had a female friend in five years. I don't know what's changed. I used to have a lot of female friends... in elementary school, even in my first two years of high school, I had at least one girl friend.

I'm a girl who really wants female friends, to go shopping with, have girl talk with, etc., but I just can't. I feel like a freak sometimes because of this.

It's a lonely life... it is.

I am woman who easily makes friends with other women so here are my suggestions on how I've learned to relate to them better:

1.) Women do/say things for a reason. If they're going on and on about something that doesn't seem important or seems trivial, there's probably a deeper reason for it such as...self esteem, social belonging, fear of something, concern, loneliness, and a bajilliony other reasons. Guys are more likely to be blunt and come right out with things but women often communicate in ways that are more covert/muted. Sometimes to relate to her you have to ask questions and be a bit of a detective.

2.) Some women are more guarded than others and take a while to let someone into their lives. Are you pursuing friendships too fast/aggressively and scaring them off or are you not being forward enough? Maybe she doesn't know that you're interested in being friends?

3.) Pay attention to her special interests besides the typical girly honeysuckle. What are her hobbies and interests and is there anything tangible you could suggest you do together like go to an art museum, go hiking/biking, volunteer at an animal shelter together, see a sci-fi movie, share an article you read that you think might interest her, take a yoga class together? There are a lot of possibilities.

4.) It might not be anything you're doing. Women are not encouraged to have close friendships with other women. It's extremely common for women to say that they have less contact with once close female friends after getting married and/or having children.

5.) If you use the words: *****, skank, cunt, whore, etc, COMPLETELY remove these words from your vocabulary IMMEDIATELY. Once I hear a girl use these words to describe someone (anyone) I lose interest in being her friend, permanently.

I really love women, and want to spend time with them so that basic need of mine helps me to have female friends. I hope these suggestions are helpful to you!

I lot of that sounds like me. I have traits of female personality, if that makes sense. Maybe that's one of the reasons I'm so midunderstood, besides bad socila/communication skills.

Maybe, Soul. But your written communication seems good. I don't know you IRL though.
 
Bump!

I'm sorry to bump a thread that seems to have died off a couple of months ago,
I just saw it while surfing through the forum and had to comment..

I am the same.. in reverse!
I am a male who seems to not have very much luck making (or keeping) other male friends. I seem to always have female friends and find it easier to build those relationships.
as one poster said previously; "I really love women, and want to spend time with them so that basic need of mine helps me to have female friends."
that could describe me as well.

I think that females tend to see me as safe and approachable. being that I am happily married and middle-aged. I am not on the prowl or trying to build friendships for any other reason than to make friends. and maybe they sense that?
where as guys seem to have no time for me. or interest in getting to know me at all.
even when i've met guy's through other friends. we get along and things seem to be progressing, but then when my female friend leaves for a time, they pretty much just stop talking or responding to me or leave without a word.
it's almost like guys must have a reason to want to become your friend, while females are more open to it.. as long as they dont see a reason to NOT want to. at least in my expiriences.
(that being said, usualy girls start off cautious and distant until they form a trust when meeting guys, and for good reason I imagine)
 
Me and my (girl) friends call each other hoes, skank, etc in joking terms...so I wouldn't really think that you would need to remove those words from you vocab. I guess some people get offended easily. I don't know. Anyways, are you socially awkward when trying to make friends with them?
 
Sterling said:
Me and my (girl) friends call each other hoes, skank, etc in joking terms...so I wouldn't really think that you would need to remove those words from you vocab. I guess some people get offended easily. I don't know. Anyways, are you socially awkward when trying to make friends with them?

It's not about getting offended easily. It's about making a conscious choice to rid your vocabulary of misogynist language. Reclaiming language doesn't erase its origin.
 
Though wasn't English originally invented as a collection of slang words that Norman soldiers used to communicate with Saxon prostitutes which developed from there? Not really a lot of purity in the English language to reclaim.
 
roguewave said:
Sterling said:
Me and my (girl) friends call each other hoes, skank, etc in joking terms...so I wouldn't really think that you would need to remove those words from you vocab. I guess some people get offended easily. I don't know. Anyways, are you socially awkward when trying to make friends with them?

It's not about getting offended easily. It's about making a conscious choice to rid your vocabulary of misogynist language. Reclaiming language doesn't erase its origin.

I just have no problem with the wording. Like I said above, some people are sensitive to it. No problem with that.
 
Sterling said:
roguewave said:
Sterling said:
Me and my (girl) friends call each other hoes, skank, etc in joking terms...so I wouldn't really think that you would need to remove those words from you vocab. I guess some people get offended easily. I don't know. Anyways, are you socially awkward when trying to make friends with them?

It's not about getting offended easily. It's about making a conscious choice to rid your vocabulary of misogynist language. Reclaiming language doesn't erase its origin.

I just have no problem with the wording. Like I said above, some people are sensitive to it. No problem with that.

I'm not telling you how to talk...use the words you want to use, but I'm not sure you understand what I'm saying either. Again, it's got nothing to do with being sensitive to certain words or easily offended.


Limlim said:
Though wasn't English originally invented as a collection of slang words that Norman soldiers used to communicate with Saxon prostitutes which developed from there? Not really a lot of purity in the English language to reclaim.

Lol yeah. Reclaiming is pointless. Unless you're reclaiming a word like gay with a positive meaning. Which is well...gay.
 
I try to be friends with girls, and get along with them... but they always act snobby towards me. And I'm very friendly.. hmmm so I have no idea.. :shrugs:
 
that could be it..
being too friendly. in my expirience alot of girls dont like that lol.
for a guy.. its when you arent paying attention or trying that girls respond to you. they sense desperation. when you are on the hunt the game sees you comming and hides lol so to speak ;p
so maybe think like a guy and be laid back and let them come to you. just try to get yourself noticed in positive ways.

but hey.. im a guy.. who am i to give advice about women lol.
 

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