Hi people, first post here so I'm hoping for a warm welcome
Anyway. So I've been dating this girl for almost nine months now. She's artistic, gorgeous, well-read and has the most adorable voice that drives me absolutely feral no matter how often I hear it. She really is one of a kind, but lately I'm starting to think she isn't the "kind" for me.
The problem is, as I put it, "She's a sunset girl. I'm a sunrise boy." Her outlook on the world is macabre at best: she has very few actual interests, she doesn't want children, she doesn't care for marriage, and I seriously doubt her willingness to commit to a guy like me - a guy who's eager (to a fault) to jump into a committed relationship with a gal who wants nothing less than to share all the world's experiences with me.
Eh. These are all superficial details not really necessary to the point I'm trying to make... I guess... I'm not right for a girl like her. She says she loves me, and our relationship is intimate; we just don't connect on that fundamental "best friend" level. The more I think about this, the more I realize that when I am with her, I'm terribly unhappy. We have absolutely no interests in common: I'm a very outspoken person about the causes I believe in (which, because of their irrelevance, don't warrant further detail here xD), yet whenever I go into a rant or otherwise feel like discussing "the issues," she has no want to share and sometimes even gets on my case for "being too serious."
My point is that I'm unhappy with her, but I'm afraid to break it off with her. She has a certain power over me, because of my being a generally lonely and weak-willed person (I'm always the one to apologize during arguments even when I feel I'm in the right, simply because I'm afraid that she's so stubborn that she'll fight me tooth even if it comes down to sacrificing the relationship). I'm unhappy with her, but I'm afraid to break it off, because to put it bluntly I simply don't want to be alone again.
I have no friends. I have two people I talk to online, but even with them I have to vie for their full attention. If I broke it off with her, I'd have nobody there for support, and I'd just put myself into the same downward spiral I was in before I started dating her. I'm a jealous person, too, and I'd be constantly anxious about her being with another guy, and being more happy than she was with me. I know that sounds selfish, and to an extent I'm sure it is - but it's just who I am. I'm a one-love kind of romantic and find it hard to cope with the idea that love could be transferred from person to person so easily. Anyway, I'm kind of ranting here, so I'll cut it short.
I'm just terrified of the anxiety and the loneliness that's bound to envelop the next six-months-to-a-year of my life should I go through with this.
Any advice is wanted. ;/
- Kevin.
Anyway. So I've been dating this girl for almost nine months now. She's artistic, gorgeous, well-read and has the most adorable voice that drives me absolutely feral no matter how often I hear it. She really is one of a kind, but lately I'm starting to think she isn't the "kind" for me.
The problem is, as I put it, "She's a sunset girl. I'm a sunrise boy." Her outlook on the world is macabre at best: she has very few actual interests, she doesn't want children, she doesn't care for marriage, and I seriously doubt her willingness to commit to a guy like me - a guy who's eager (to a fault) to jump into a committed relationship with a gal who wants nothing less than to share all the world's experiences with me.
Eh. These are all superficial details not really necessary to the point I'm trying to make... I guess... I'm not right for a girl like her. She says she loves me, and our relationship is intimate; we just don't connect on that fundamental "best friend" level. The more I think about this, the more I realize that when I am with her, I'm terribly unhappy. We have absolutely no interests in common: I'm a very outspoken person about the causes I believe in (which, because of their irrelevance, don't warrant further detail here xD), yet whenever I go into a rant or otherwise feel like discussing "the issues," she has no want to share and sometimes even gets on my case for "being too serious."
My point is that I'm unhappy with her, but I'm afraid to break it off with her. She has a certain power over me, because of my being a generally lonely and weak-willed person (I'm always the one to apologize during arguments even when I feel I'm in the right, simply because I'm afraid that she's so stubborn that she'll fight me tooth even if it comes down to sacrificing the relationship). I'm unhappy with her, but I'm afraid to break it off, because to put it bluntly I simply don't want to be alone again.
I have no friends. I have two people I talk to online, but even with them I have to vie for their full attention. If I broke it off with her, I'd have nobody there for support, and I'd just put myself into the same downward spiral I was in before I started dating her. I'm a jealous person, too, and I'd be constantly anxious about her being with another guy, and being more happy than she was with me. I know that sounds selfish, and to an extent I'm sure it is - but it's just who I am. I'm a one-love kind of romantic and find it hard to cope with the idea that love could be transferred from person to person so easily. Anyway, I'm kind of ranting here, so I'll cut it short.
I'm just terrified of the anxiety and the loneliness that's bound to envelop the next six-months-to-a-year of my life should I go through with this.
Any advice is wanted. ;/
- Kevin.