The Nature of Loneliness

[smitty]

The crazy thing about loneliness is that you can feel lonely even when you're WITH people.

I hang out with friends a lot, but everyone has their own homes and I happen to live alone. I've met a lot of girls and have dated some of them, but I've only really truly connected with very few people I've come across. And sometimes I feel like I won't ever meet another person I connect that deeply with. It's in those peoples' company I don't feel as alone. I like being by myself sometimes, I admit that, but it kind of hurts that I don't have anyone to be with or as cheesy as it seems to really cuddle with.

It can be an especially supreme loneliness when you're with someone you don't want to be with or don't connect with at all. I'm a friendly person though, so I wouldn't really hint at how lonely I feel sometimes. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

There are very few moments that I'm okay with my kind of loneliness. I'm not sure why it has to be so hard. The few people I connect with either are really far away or don't talk to me anymore. I've tried to not be sad for the past few days, but it just really hits me how alone I am. I like getting a chance to spend time with someone I care deeply about and making them happy for a period of time. I feel like I've met some really fantastic people, but these days they seem truly few and far between.

Last night I met my friend's gf and he had me drive her back to his house while he talked to the owner of this bar. The more we talked the more I began to like her and then I found that I might have feelings for her. I killed those feelings, pretty much, because I don't want to be a bad friend.

It just seems like it's easy for everyone else to find someone special. I feel like I already met that person, or people, and it's very unlikely it'll happen again. Just makes me sad

Sorry for the length, I've been thinking about all of this for a few days and last night just brought it to the forefront. Thanks for reading.

 

[NoRain]

It just seems like it's easy for everyone else to find someone special. I feel like I already met that person, or people, and it's very unlikely it'll happen again. Just makes me sad

I cannot tell you enough times how much I can relate with every single word you said. You basically just put into words what has been on my mind for years.
While I do have very few close friends that do understand some of my problems, none of them understand loneliness. It's tough to watch all your friends find someone, move in with them and take the next step while you're always stuck in the same position, on your own.

I guess I don't even know what to say to you, cause I still haven't figured out how to deal with this myself. But if you ever wanna talk, don't hesitate to PM me

 

[Lost Drifter]

While I do have very few close friends that do understand some of my problems, none of them understand loneliness.

Loneliness has always been a taboo for many people as we’re taught, be it through society or the media, that no-one is alone so if we suffer from it we’re obviously doing something very wrong in life. Feel depressed? Then talk to your family. Feeling run down and bored? Then go to see your friends. Feeling lonely? Then tough luck.

I’m in the situation where I have no family or friends; no real urge or desire to meet a partner right now but I find that a lot of people don’t understand the concept of being physically alone. Even the simple things like filling out the next of kin section on a survey feels like a challenge.

Then you have mental loneliness, which I believe the OP is talking about, you can have friends and such but there is the constant feeling that no-one 'gets' you or who you can connect with on a deeper level. Sometimes I think that it’s the worse of the two. At least when you’re physically lonely you learn to accept things but mentally lonely is like being a diabetic in a cake shop, surrounded by things you should be enjoying but somehow can’t.

 

[NoRain]

While I do have very few close friends that do understand some of my problems, none of them understand loneliness.

Loneliness has always been a taboo for many people as we’re taught, be it through society or the media, that no-one is alone so if we suffer from it we’re obviously doing something very wrong in life. Feel depressed? Then talk to your family. Feeling run down and bored? Then go to see your friends. Feeling lonely? Then tough luck.

I’m in the situation where I have no family or friends; no real urge or desire to meet a partner right now but I find that a lot of people don’t understand the concept of being physically alone. Even the simple things like filling out the next of kin section on a survey feels like a challenge.

Then you have mental loneliness, which I believe the OP is talking about, you can have friends and such but there is the constant feeling that no-one 'gets' you or who you can connect with on a deeper level. Sometimes I think that it’s the worse of the two. At least when you’re physically lonely you learn to accept things but mentally lonely is like being a diabetic in a cake shop, surrounded by things you should be enjoying but somehow can’t.

I have been physically lonely before for a period of time, and while I am surrounded with people nowadays since I'm living with my parents, sometimes just watching or talking to them makes me feel more alone. It's the whole "feeling lonely even in the middle of a crowd".
And I do have to agree with you, it is the worse of the two.

 

[smitty]

At least when you’re physically lonely you learn to accept things but mentally lonely is like being a diabetic in a cake shop, surrounded by things you should be enjoying but somehow can’t.

Lol, so true. It just gets really tough sometimes, but I'm glad I was able to vent here and that some of you understand what I'm going through.