the nice things people say to me

[duff]

I was at work today and I had a spare moment so I looked at the front page of a newspaper. The story was about this guy who had stalked a woman for 15 years. It had a mug shot type photo and an headline 'women need protecting from men like this'

This customer saw me looking at the newspaper and said 'is that a mirror ?' - there is a newspaper with that name so I replied 'no it's a mail' - he then said 'no, i mean a mirror' and pointed at the photo of the stalker. He then walked off, wasn't joking at all.

I knew what he was getting at. He was suggesting I looked like the stalker guy who looked a typical serial killer type, frown, horrible stare, mean looking. It really did annoy me. I know I'm not pretty sight and my face defaults into a frown but I don't want to be reminded of the fact.

Anyway I was quiet enough for the rest of the day for a co worker to ask what was up. I have had this all my life. I know at least 20 customers after him smiled at me and seemed happy to talk but there is always one who doesn't seem to like me and will say or do something to either insult me or make fun out of me. All my life, wherever I go. It's a reason I tend to keep myself to myself and I have never mixed or socialized.

 

[Walley]

He then walked off, wasn't joking at all

hmm, I think you should say that "you didn't feel like" he was joking at all?
you can't know what is in someone elses mind, and to be perfectly honest it sure sounds like he was joking to me..
he may have said it in a dry fashion, especially since you countered by saying "it's a mail" which can mean one of two things.
one, that you were countering his sarcastic joke with another sarcastic joke,
or you didn't get his joke and so he clarified it and then walked away (because no one wants to have to explain a joke)

I know at least 20 customers after him smiled at me and seemed happy to talk but there is always one who doesn't seem to like me and will say or do something to either insult me or make fun out of me. All my life, wherever I go. It's a reason I tend to keep myself to myself and I have never mixed or socialized.

and really.. this is how the world is.. it's not just you. anyone in retail will tell you that you are lucky to find one in 20 customers that dont treat you rudely or act like they don't like you.
it's not a reason to keep to yourself..

 

[9006]

Hello,

I'm pretty sure you're not the only one who's had this happen to, something similar happened to me when I was younger. You get these motherfuckers from time to time, the "funny guys". I know how it plays on your mind, you start thinking "What was his problem, or "Why did he say that" and you kinda dwell on it for a bit an hope you don't bump into him again.

There's nothing much you should do about it, just brush it off and carry on. You've just got to dodge these idiots; a bit like honeysuckle in a field, cause that's all they are, shits in a social field.

 

[duff]

He then walked off, wasn't joking at all

hmm, I think you should say that "you didn't feel like" he was joking at all?
you can't know what is in someone elses mind, and to be perfectly honest it sure sounds like he was joking to me..
he may have said it in a dry fashion, especially since you countered by saying "it's a mail" which can mean one of two things.
one, that you were countering his sarcastic joke with another sarcastic joke,
or you didn't get his joke and so he clarified it and then walked away (because no one wants to have to explain a joke)

I know at least 20 customers after him smiled at me and seemed happy to talk but there is always one who doesn't seem to like me and will say or do something to either insult me or make fun out of me. All my life, wherever I go. It's a reason I tend to keep myself to myself and I have never mixed or socialized.

and really.. this is how the world is.. it's not just you. anyone in retail will tell you that you are lucky to find one in 20 customers that dont treat you rudely or act like they don't like you.
it's not a reason to keep to yourself..

he's somebody who i recognize but he isn't one to joke. I do seem to polorize people for some reason. I mentioned it to 2 staff and they said he was a cheeky sod for saying it. I do get lots and lots of comments but I tend to ignore them. That seemed below the belt though.

But whatever, it only annoyed me for an hour or so.

---

Hello,

I'm pretty sure you're not the only one who's had this happen to, something similar happened to me when I was younger. You get these motherfuckers from time to time, the "funny guys". I know how it plays on your mind, you start thinking "What was his problem, or "Why did he say that" and you kinda dwell on it for a bit an hope you don't bump into him again.

There's nothing much you should do about it, just brush it off and carry on. You've just got to dodge these idiots; a bit like honeysuckle in a field, cause that's all they are, shits in a social field.

yes your right, plenty of clever twats about. I had this bloke once say -'why are you talking like that ?' - it was my normal speaking voice. I've been called gay, stupid, simple, all sorts, 'bald cunt' was nice.

 

[9006]

I think these idiots also have a detector, imean I don't know what you look like but if there's a certain innocents about how you look, they automatically assume you're vulnerable, then BOOM! A shitty comment. Well done.

 

[duff]

I think these idiots also have a detector, imean I don't know what you look like but if there's a certain innocents about how you look, they automatically assume you're vulnerable, then BOOM! A shitty comment. Well done.

insults about how I look or how miserable I look really sting. It's a sore subject with me.

 

[monkeysox]

An insult takes far longer to heal than if someone punched you.

These kinds of people do have a detector, its called predatory instincts that are out of control and can spot a target a mile away.

We all give off body language without realising. They get a kick out of it because it makes them feel better about themselves to try to lower others.

The best reaction is to 'laugh' and show it doesn't affect you - they also then feel humiliated.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I know I'm not pretty sight and my face defaults into a frown but I don't want to be reminded of the fact.

Oh my goodness, as someone else with a 'mean' face I know how incredibly difficult this can be. People making assumptions on you based on your appearance, people suddenly getting aggressive because they stupidly think you look the same, always being labelled the bad guy even when you’re nowhere near such. The list is endless.

 

[duff]

I know I'm not pretty sight and my face defaults into a frown but I don't want to be reminded of the fact.

Oh my goodness, as someone else with a 'mean' face I know how incredibly difficult this can be. People making assumptions on you based on your appearance, people suddenly getting aggressive because they stupidly think you look the same, always being labelled the bad guy even when you’re nowhere near such. The list is endless.

yes exactly. even today I had a 'you look fed up' when I was in a normal state of mind, wasn't fed up at all.

 

[PyramidHead]

Sounds horrible... sometimes it is better not to know what the others think of you.

 

[duff]

Sounds horrible... sometimes it is better not to know what the others think of you.

I have the worst job you can have as well. A cashier. The only job I could get as well. When I started about 15 years ago, the insults I got was incredible. Managers, staff, customers, everybody. I still get funny looks now but I think I ignore them better and the comments go thru one ear and out the other. People stare especially the ones who don't know me. The shop were I work is a neighbourhood type shop so it's the same customers every day. The regulars know me and like me and I have tons of friends who know my name and come in to chat but I do get looks from people. They almost stop in their tracks and do a double take !

 

[PyramidHead]

I worked part time as cashier once ... never again. Too stressful, even for a job in sales. I don't mind to call people from different companies from all over the globe, or be called by them when they are pissed, but having someone in my back, who tells me to go faster and faster and then complains when my work isn't perfect... i guess I could only survive this for a year, then I would go on a rampage.
Now it is way more funny... love these Chinese clients with their lovely English skills.

 

[duff]

I worked part time as cashier once ... never again. Too stressful, even for a job in sales. I don't mind to call people from different companies from all over the globe, or be called by them when they are pissed, but having someone in my back, who tells me to go faster and faster and then complains when my work isn't perfect... i guess I could only survive this for a year, then I would go on a rampage.
Now it is way more funny... love these Chinese clients with their lovely English skills.

I enjoy it most of the time especially that I don't do nights anymore.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Wanna find out, is what you should have said. Another thing you could have done is hold up the paper and said "You tell me". Oh yeah, you could also talk about the reflective property of matter and how you believe paper is not known for its ability to reflect light.

Have you ever considered going to a stylist* and asking them to give you a new hair do? Often times people who do the described actions neglect themselves. Neglecting oneself makes oneself look like crap.

People say it is the inside that matters. However, is the inside all that great if the outside has been neglected? I also ask, what is the harm in looking your best? You know besides the usual movie/tv stereotype of looking good on the outside = trash on the inside?

*when I say stylist, I mean someone who works at a salon. Not someone who works at Great Clips. I find stylists, especially ones who lease out a chair in a salon are much better at finding a way to improve your appearance.

 

[duff]

Wanna find out, is what you should have said. Another thing you could have done is hold up the paper and said "You tell me". Oh yeah, you could also talk about the reflective property of matter and how you believe paper is not known for its ability to reflect light.

Have you ever considered going to a stylist* and asking them to give you a new hair do? Often times people who do the described actions neglect themselves. Neglecting oneself makes oneself look like crap.

People say it is the inside that matters. However, is the inside all that great if the outside has been neglected? I also ask, what is the harm in looking your best? You know besides the usual movie/tv stereotype of looking good on the outside = trash on the inside?

*when I say stylist, I mean someone who works at a salon. Not someone who works at Great Clips. I find stylists, especially ones who lease out a chair in a salon are much better at finding a way to improve your appearance.

Ive hardly got any hair so I can't do anything with it. And I have a high forehead which doesn't suit bald. With a full head of hair I would look good, in fact I was a decent looking man in my early 20's. My Dad isn't losing his hair and neither of my brothers are. I was just unlucky.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Ive hardly got any hair so I can't do anything with it. And I have a high forehead which doesn't suit bald. With a full head of hair I would look good, in fact I was a decent looking man in my early 20's. My Dad isn't losing his hair and neither of my brothers are. I was just unlucky.

Lucky for you we live in an age where hair can be regenerated. Have you ever considered that? What about just shaving the remaining hair off? There are plenty of females and males out there who find the cueball look super sexy.

Baldness is passed down genetically from your mothers father. So your father will not go bald. Your brothers... well did they undergo hair regeneration? Either way, why not shave off your remaining hair? It is cheap and easy to do. No reason to look like a creep if you can avoid it.

 

[duff]

Ive hardly got any hair so I can't do anything with it. And I have a high forehead which doesn't suit bald. With a full head of hair I would look good, in fact I was a decent looking man in my early 20's. My Dad isn't losing his hair and neither of my brothers are. I was just unlucky.

Lucky for you we live in an age where hair can be regenerated. Have you ever considered that? What about just shaving the remaining hair off? There are plenty of females and males out there who find the cueball look super sexy.

Baldness is passed down genetically from your mothers father. So your father will not go bald. Your brothers... well did they undergo hair regeneration? Either way, why not shave off your remaining hair? It is cheap and easy to do. No reason to look like a creep if you can avoid it.

I once wasted 2 grand on this so called hair replacement system. It was crap, they glued a wig on my head.

I look awfull bald. I once did it, my mother told me to wear a cap !

My brothers havent done anything with their hair. My mothers dad wasn't bald.

I would love to have just a bit more hair !

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I once wasted 2 grand on this so called hair replacement system. It was crap, they glued a wig on my head.

I look awfull bald. I once did it, my mother told me to wear a cap !

My brothers havent done anything with their hair. My mothers dad wasn't bald.

I would love to have just a bit more hair !

So you are saying that you look better with only part of your hair? What we know as standard baldness is always associated with creepy losers. The only time it is not really creepy to be like that is when you have a family. So I say screw what your mom says, unless that is who you are trying to mate with. Shave off the sides of your hair and go completely bald. There are plenty of females out there who find that extremely attractive. Plus, in society how many completely bald guys are creepy stalkers? Well in the media anyway?

Second I did not say hair replacement, I said hair regeneration. There is a difference. Regeneration implies that you are fixing your hairs ability to grow. Not just covering it up. Of course if just having more hair is your only goal why not get a wig? At the salon I go to they have wigs and stylists who can style them for you.

My point is that you have options. There are plenty of ways for you to get around this issue. Maybe you should focus away from your hair. What about the way you dress yourself? What about the way you carry yourself? There are lots of things you can do to get around this issue you are having.

 

[duff]

I once wasted 2 grand on this so called hair replacement system. It was crap, they glued a wig on my head.

I look awfull bald. I once did it, my mother told me to wear a cap !

My brothers havent done anything with their hair. My mothers dad wasn't bald.

I would love to have just a bit more hair !

So you are saying that you look better with only part of your hair? What we know as standard baldness is always associated with creepy losers. The only time it is not really creepy to be like that is when you have a family. So I say screw what your mom says, unless that is who you are trying to mate with. Shave off the sides of your hair and go completely bald. There are plenty of females out there who find that extremely attractive. Plus, in society how many completely bald guys are creepy stalkers? Well in the media anyway?

Second I did not say hair replacement, I said hair regeneration. There is a difference. Regeneration implies that you are fixing your hairs ability to grow. Not just covering it up. Of course if just having more hair is your only goal why not get a wig? At the salon I go to they have wigs and stylists who can style them for you.

My point is that you have options. There are plenty of ways for you to get around this issue. Maybe you should focus away from your hair. What about the way you dress yourself? What about the way you carry yourself? There are lots of things you can do to get around this issue you are having.

i have hair at the sides and back. I would like more on the front, not loads, so it falls into my eyes because that would look silly.

It's not something ive thought much about for a few years. I have given up, Im not sure the products work and they do cost alot of money.

I would wear a small wig but the problem is you have to go out and meet people again. That would be daunting. I suppose if they did it gradually then people wouldn't notice so much.

I might look into it next year !

 

[LonelyInAtl]

insults about how I look or how miserable I look really sting. It's a sore subject with me.

I've had more than one woman I've been interested in tell me they wouldn't date me because I was fat or unattractive. That stings and has affected me negatively. I mean, if you hear it from multiple people it must be true, right?