Tired of being ugly

[mari1969]

A person is much more that a face a body or a penis (some men worry a lot about size). I understand that beauty is important for the 1st impression but there are other things that can make a connection.

 

[StormChild]

You sound like you're coming to the end of your tether -- I'm sorry that everything seems to be so hard for you right now.

First thing is that there are degrees of attractiveness, but ugly comes from inside a person. You're not the ugly one here, the people saying these things to you are. It's easy to say not to let it get to you, but how horrible for you to have to hear things like that. These do not sound like normal human beings to me.

Can you find a way to spend more time around supportive people? I know you go to the gym every day, and I bet that helps, but do you have any other interests you can share with other, better people? Confidence is attractive, and if you're good at something you can share with others you might find that it changes how you feel other places too.

You say that face is more important than body in a man, but that isn't necessarily true. For a lot of people what's inside is what really counts. For example, in the movie Beauty and the Beast, my family and I are always outraged when the beast turns into a cookie-cutter Handsome Prince at the end. Why can't he be accepted just as he is? It wasn't the prince that Belle fell in love with, it was the Beast.

Hang in there, my friend. It will get better.

 

[Revanchist]

I found it kinda interesting when you said you're not fat, welp I am fat you know and I'm definitely something to look at and the worst part about thinking you're not looking good is that whenever you hear someone laughing you automatically assume they're laughing at you. Heck even if they are, you should hardly care. Face it. Don't run in the house and hide and don't let small minded people push you back. I found that words of people who say stuff like " Oh dont care " etc.etc. don't really help me because we heard those words said often. To me mainly music helps because it's a general idea and words. Not something directed at you but something you can apply.

Just yesterday I really started feeling better when I heard a lyric from a song say " People talking since the beginning of time, listen pay your bills pay them bitches no mind. And if I fly or if I fall least I can say I gave it all" It is all about the attitude!

I totally understand the feeling of suicide being an option. Now in no way am I trying to say that it's a good thing but I totally understand it. It would be as if closing an annoying article or a game you don't want to play. Suicide is a selfish notion in my eyes and something one would do when they simply do not care anymore. And if you don't care anymore... then go say fresia you to everyone who you think is judging you. No offense to you but I'm certain you have unique abilities and things that you can use to make your life better. They're being overthrown by the negative feelings. Open your mind and give no cares and they will surface. It's not an instant thing, it is just a state of mind. It is extremely easy to drown in self pity and that is what makes it so dangerous.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I think you have to learn to ignore all the honeysuckle people say to you.
Very hard I know.

I go thru all sorts but it hardly bothers me. This woman at work for example, never even said 'hello' this morning when she walked into the canteen before I started work this morning. I was the only one in the canteen. She didn't look at me. She then spends the whole shift cackling with laughter at every little thing everybody else said while looking at me like I was a pile of honeysuckle. There was no reason, no argument. She isn't the only one, several member of staff treat me the same way. I don't care. fresia em ! - That should be your attitude too !

 

[ardour]

I think you have to learn to ignore all the honeysuckle people say to you.
Very hard I know.

I go thru all sorts but it hardly bothers me. This woman at work for example, never even said 'hello' this morning when she walked into the canteen before I started work this morning. I was the only one in the canteen. She didn't look at me. She then spends the whole shift cackling with laughter at every little thing everybody else said while looking at me like I was a pile of honeysuckle. There was no reason, no argument. She isn't the only one, several member of staff treat me the same way. I don't care. fresia em ! - That should be your attitude too !

The best thing to do in those situations is ignore them; people like that usually can't stand snubs and I find it hilarious when someone who loathes you suddenly wants to talk.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I think you have to learn to ignore all the honeysuckle people say to you.
Very hard I know.

I go thru all sorts but it hardly bothers me. This woman at work for example, never even said 'hello' this morning when she walked into the canteen before I started work this morning. I was the only one in the canteen. She didn't look at me. She then spends the whole shift cackling with laughter at every little thing everybody else said while looking at me like I was a pile of honeysuckle. There was no reason, no argument. She isn't the only one, several member of staff treat me the same way. I don't care. fresia em ! - That should be your attitude too !

The best thing to do in those situations is ignore them; people like that usually can't stand snubs and I find it hilarious when someone who loathes you suddenly wants to talk.

People send off vibes that they want to talk or don't. If somebody doesn't want to talk then I leave them alone. Probably they think it's me who is in the mood.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

 

[TheRealCallie]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

If you believe that, then yes, they will. There are many "attractive" people on this forum, yet they still have trouble. Seriously, people need to stop making assumptions based on looks.
People with confidence and those that carry themselves with confidence and composure have more opportunities. It doesn't matter how you look.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

If you believe that, then yes, they will. There are many "attractive" people on this forum, yet they still have trouble. Seriously, people need to stop making assumptions based on looks.
People with confidence and those that carry themselves with confidence and composure have more opportunities. It doesn't matter how you look.

I respect your opinion but I don't agree with it. You won't be able to convince me. Looks are very important !

 

[TheRealCallie]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

If you believe that, then yes, they will. There are many "attractive" people on this forum, yet they still have trouble. Seriously, people need to stop making assumptions based on looks.
People with confidence and those that carry themselves with confidence and composure have more opportunities. It doesn't matter how you look.

I respect your opinion but I don't agree with it. You won't be able to convince me. Looks are very important !

As I said, if you put that much importance on looks, then yes, you will believe that.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

Who told you you're not attractive?

And inner beauty is much better than outer beauty, as well.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

Who told you you're not attractive?

And inner beauty is much better than outer beauty, as well.

I can see for myself.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

Who told you you're not attractive?

And inner beauty is much better than outer beauty, as well.

I can see for myself.

There's a saying...You are your own worst enemy.
Just because YOU don't think you are not attractive doesn't mean the rest of the world shares that opinion.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Nobody is ugly to everyone. Nobody is universally ugly, and even deformed people have relationships.

You need to stop beating yourself up over this.

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

Who told you you're not attractive?

And inner beauty is much better than outer beauty, as well.

I can see for myself.

There's a saying...You are your own worst enemy.
Just because YOU don't think you are not attractive doesn't mean the rest of the world shares that opinion.

I used to be good looking when I was a teenager / early 20's. I thought it and knew it and I was really puzzled when women didn't like me. Now I don't look that great but I have a really good personality and again it puzzles me a bit why women aren't interested in me. So naturally I am going to look for a reason.

 

[TheRealCallie]

this is true but attractive people will have more opportunities !

Who told you you're not attractive?

And inner beauty is much better than outer beauty, as well.

I can see for myself.

There's a saying...You are your own worst enemy.
Just because YOU don't think you are not attractive doesn't mean the rest of the world shares that opinion.

I used to be good looking when I was a teenager / early 20's. I thought it and knew it and I was really puzzled when women didn't like me. Now I don't look that great but I have a really good personality and again it puzzles me a bit why women aren't interested in me. So naturally I am going to look for a reason.

Perhaps your looks aren't the problem.

 

[The Replicated Man]

To be honest, maybe you should look into cosmetic surgery. I think it's gotten to the point where a little of that (not saying you need to remake your face) could do you some good.

People will tell you not to. People will tell you it's better to bear your burden, or embrace it. Because there's some sort of honor or nobility in that, apparently. But I disagree. Do what you know will make you happen and set your mind at ease. Do what you know will alleviate that burden.

I would consider myself very handsome....if it werent for this ugly lump I have in the middle of my forehead. In some lights and environments, it's not noticeable. On a bright, hot day, its very noticeable and takes away from an otherwise handsome face. It confuses people. Causes girls to second guess their attraction to me. I hate it. There's cosmetic surgeons out there that will remove it for around 2000$ and its a high priority of mine to have that surgery. Because I KNOW that I'll feel more at ease and confident. I do what I can to be attractive. I don't necessarily follow the trends of "style" but I dress well, I keep my body in shape and I groom. There are some things that no amount of weightlifting or dressing up will fix though.

So I say do what needs to be done.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Who told you you're not attractive?

And inner beauty is much better than outer beauty, as well.

I can see for myself.

There's a saying...You are your own worst enemy.
Just because YOU don't think you are not attractive doesn't mean the rest of the world shares that opinion.

I used to be good looking when I was a teenager / early 20's. I thought it and knew it and I was really puzzled when women didn't like me. Now I don't look that great but I have a really good personality and again it puzzles me a bit why women aren't interested in me. So naturally I am going to look for a reason.

Perhaps your looks aren't the problem.

perhaps

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've seen a picture of you before, I think? You look average, not ugly at all.

I've often felt that the reason why I'm single is that I just meet the wrong women. That is probably why you're single. Have you tried online dating, or speed dating?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I've seen a picture of you before, I think? You look average, not ugly at all.

I've often felt that the reason why I'm single is that I just meet the wrong women. That is probably why you're single. Have you tried online dating, or speed dating?

not sure you are asking me but online dating ? I have tried it a few times, got scammed out of some money once.

Speed dating would be a nightmare. I couldn't force myself to do it. While I would find the talking bit easy, I doubt I would get picked. The ladies would choose the other guys.