"Ever had a dead guy look up your skirt? No?"
"Well, now you have."
"Haha."
Alternatively:
"YOU ARE STANDING ON MY LAWN. GET OFF *******."
And I would have it constructed of high carbon steel with a stainless steel coating, but made to look like normal granite, so any idiot who hits it with a baseball bat is getting a fun surprise.
But in all actuality, I haven't given much thought to what I actually want on it. I do know I've given serious consideration to being cremated and having my ashes dumped in the water tank on a fire engine. That way when they have their next fire I still get to help put that ***** out. Actually, I would probably collect at the bottom of the tank in a sediment, and slowly disperse over the course of many calls. Literally, I am still with the engine crew after death. And if I recall, ash being mixed with water actually makes it more effective. Awesome.
Like some kind of modern, extreme Norse funeral pyre too, in a way.
VanillaCreme said:
DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES
YEAH WE LIKE WAFFLES
I swear to god, if that is still stuck in my head by this evening, I am going to brutally kill you.