James, Hello and welcome.
It seems you might have been living in another country or were living with relatives, away from your mother, separated from her for some time and thus do not speak her native tongue. Everyone needs that connection to their mother and somehow I am sure the both of you will be able to re-establish communication...usually that will fall on your shoulders, as it is easier for the younger brain to learn a different language. You might have to put some time and effort into this, I hope you do...the plus is you have the added richness of knowing your or your mother's culture better.
I know what you mean about connecting with people. I met these great people at a little coffee bar, we were huddled under the awning because it had started to just rain cats and dogs. So we went inside, got a coffee and started to talk, seems the three of them were artists, in town for a gallery show....we really hit it off, had fun, laughed for four hours together, finally noticed it had stopped raining, they decided to invite me to the gallery show, we all went, had a great time....we then exchanged cards...did anyone ever contact me again? NO!!! And I have emailed the one girl about 5 times. She replies, but never commits to doing anything with me. Jeesh. Oh well. whatever. It is SO hard to break into anyone's social circle...
I don't remember why it was so much easier to make friends when I was younger. I sit here trying to figure out what was the magic or dynamic. What did I possess then that I don't possess now to attract people to my energy? Well, I suppose looks are one thing. I aint that cute young thing with the mini-skirt up to there, great legs, flawless skin, long silky flowing hair.... I'm just a dumpy old hag of a woman now!!!
I am not in a social situation, like highschool or college, where my talents drew alot of people into my friendship circle. Seems that many of my activities, like acting, dancing, singing, drew me into a certain circle of friends. I don't have daily interactions with people from going to classes and participating in plays and musicals like I used to.
I too have limited access to getting out of my house. period. I am unemployed, and the extreme poverty keeps gas out of the tank of my car and with the cold weather now settling in, I can't even ride my bike...so there is no way for me to get out and do things that I love, to meet other people who like the same things as me.
I think that is the key to meeting people, you have to put yourself in those situations that highlight your talents and your skill. What do you do especially well that will draw others to you? Sometimes for younger people it is music, common love of certain kinds of music or bands, that draws them together.
I don't know what the answer is for you, if you are living in a small rural town where there is not much to do it will be harder. If you live near or in a large city, it is much easier to find venues where you can interact with others. You say you are able to get to the mall and movies, so you must be in a well populated area. Now that you have found this forum, perhaps you can also find other things online, like Craigslist, which pretty much has activities listed for all over the world...just go to the city you live closest to. I happen to live near NYC. There are different craigslists for every borough, the Bronx, Queens, Manhattan, Long Island, Staten Island and in my state, New Jersey, there are separate lists for North Jersey, Central Jersey etc..... see if you can't find a Craiglist near you and see what activities are posted...you can also post for rides or help for yourself to connect to others for friendships.
There is also another forum online called Meetups..... google them, you again will be able to find sometimes hundreds of local activity groups near where you live that you can join in on and meet people. Good Luck to you James and remember, what you are feeling and experiencing is resonating in a thousand empty, lonely souls today. They say we are under this huge threat from the H1N1 pandemic now...but I say loneliness and the resulting depression, aching and pain of disconnect from other human beings is also a pandemic and there isn't even an innoculation that will protect your heart from it. brightest blessings to you.
Bae said:
Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this forum, I never knew there was such a forum like this.
My current situation is no friends, no job, no car, no anything except for my mom that I have a hard time communicating because our language barrier. Even when I try to make friends at church, we might be friends for that one heat of the moment hour, even when we exchange numbers, not a chance they will call to do something, go out to eat or even talk on the phone for a good 10 minutes...
My greatest fear is when I die, how will I ever know how my mom will pass away because I would want to know, to feel her pain, but the sad thing about it is that I will never know.
I walk through the malls, everybody is with someone, everywhere I go, someone is with someone. I go to the resturants and movies alone and people stare at me(which I really don't care) but it's that someone you long for that will walk besides you at the same rythmn. Someone that will be my your side even when your in a bad mood.
This is just the begininng. Just wanting to introduce myself, Hi, I'm James Bae.
