Uncomfortable single situations

[9006]

Been there, done that.

"Hey we're doing a couples dinner night, do you want to...ohhhhhh, sorry..."
*Awkward cricket noises*

Any decent person wouldn't invite you for a 'couples dinner night' knowing you're single.

The only exception is if you were in an exclusive relationship for a while that people knew about. There's nothing worse than people in relationships looking down on singles.

 

[Shiloh253]

Been there, done that.

"Hey we're doing a couples dinner night, do you want to...ohhhhhh, sorry..."
*Awkward cricket noises*

Any decent person wouldn't invite you for a 'couples dinner night' knowing you're single.

The only exception is if you were in an exclusive relationship for a while that people knew about. There's nothing worse than people in relationships looking down on singles.

I think they just forgot. On it's own that wouldn't have bugged me a whole lot, they tried to salvage the situation by saying they'd invite somebody for me to hang out with. Really? You're going to drag someone else into this mess in an attempt just to make me feel better or something? Yeahno.

 

[Xpendable]

This is especially uncomfortable between male friends.

 

[Cucuboth]

Pretty much every place I've been to that has involved being in a group has been like this. School, university, work, volunteering, interest groups, family, ect ect ect. Mondays will always be dominated by talk of what everyone has done over the weekend with their partners, families, friends. And Thursdays and Fridays will be about what pub everyone is going to on Friday night, and what everyone is GOING to do on the weekend with their partners, families, friends. I could never join in, and in most cases if I did try to it would only increase the bullying about being single (with assumptions about my sexuality). Even with family, it was always the old question of "Have you got a girlfriend yet?", which then became "Why haven't you got a girlfriend yet?" .... followed by a diatribe of the usual cob-webb coated 'advice' .... and now they don't even bother with that because they already know the answer I will give. But I get 'locked out' of conversation at even the most simplest of family gatherings, because all anyone talks about is their children and their friends, and so on and so forth. I think it gets worse as you get older, because once you get in to your 30's it just seems to be expected that you will have kids, or at least be in a relationship, and not having either makes it harder to have/find friends, I feel, because most people want friends who are in the a similar life situation as they are. A single person .... and I don't mean someone who is single by choice .... is seen as a social burden.

Thinking about how people who are in relationships will have their own problems doesn't make being single feel any better. At least, not for me. Maybe if you have chosen to be single it might help in some way. But I don't want to be single. I think everyone knows that relationships come with their own problems and stresses, and saying that we should think about how the 'grass is always greener' just feels kind of ... well ... condescending. If you've chosen to be single, well, good for you. But not everyone wants to be. Some of us just want the chance not to be.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'm starting to feel like that with most of my friends. It's not as extreme as the situation the OP described, but at our gatherings, sometimes it gets to me that most everyone has been able to get a relationship and I have not. I try not to let it bug me too much, and just focus on having fun at the gathering. But sometimes those feelings get through.

 

[Wanderer145]

I guess in that situation I felt like a failure as I have been totally unsuccessful in meeting someone for the past few years. I've done some stupid things to stop feeling alone but around that table, I just felt removed from the conversation. What can someone who hasn't been with anyone in a long time bring? I feel like less of a person sometimes because something almost everyone can do, meet someone to start something with, is something I have constantly struggled with.

The situation just made me think I was inadequate and unloved. Everyone had someone to go back to, there's no one for me to do so. It was a situation where you realise how you don't fit in with people, in the time you've been single people are in their 6th year of a relationship stop then meet someone else. I suppose I shouldn't really care as I've got plans but sometimes getting a stark reminder of how you can't meet someone as well as everyone else seems to makes you feel like nothing.