Unsober happiness?

[Woz]

Okay whenever I'm going through a tough time and have a drink, i realise this: "i'm never completely happy until i'm like this".

There's a lot to it, if i'm tired i feel like i'm "at that stage" to sleep easily. If I'm feeling lonely or apathetic, i feel like i'm "at that stage" where I'll fit in fine (after a few drinks i feel like i can fit in/feel like i can fit in like everyone else does)

Anyone else feel this, and any advice?

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi Woz

Having drinks can bring you confidence, and give you a sense of well being. Problem is, it's an illusion. You can't resort to alcohol for your happiness and a quick fix. It will be great for a while but after time will bite you in the ass like a pissed off Panda.

You must find other ways to feel this way without using alcohol. I know that's very easy to drink for the reasons you mentioned. That's the lure of it. Using alcohol as a crutch is dangerous. I know. Also, if you are half in the bag and feel like you fit in and are comfortable, but that doesn't mean that others around you are. Someone who is drunk or has a buzz on can be very annoying to some people. That's not fun for anyone.

I've read some of your posts. You seem like a decent guy to me. I'd hate to see you get sick just trying to feel better. Let us be your crutch. I'm sure everyone here would rather see you get well and feel good naturally.

If you are feeling down, talk to us as opposed to picking up the bottle. If you truly want to fit in, you must be yourself and see how things go. Using booze will lead to disaster. People will accept you or not based on who you are as a person who isn't intoxicated. I'm not trying to say that you are some raging alcoholic, but drinking to solve your problems will help for a while, but will then will start contributing to your problems making everything much worse.

 

[Lua]

Hey Woz,

I know what you mean, drunken bliss can be quite nice. When I was feeling down and constantly worrying, it was so nice to slow my brain down and just shut those thoughts and feelings up for a night. Social inhibition is lowered, so it's easier to talk to people and I feel more in the here and now and don't overthink as much. Still, I wouldn't always want to be in that state and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't either.

As for advice, I'm with LK, be yourself and try being comfortable with that. It isn't easy and takes time and effort, but it's more rewarding than switching problems off and having them return the next morning.

I once read about a study which pointed out that two drunk people often feel like they're getting along extremely well, even if objectively the conversation doesn't run as smoothly as between sober people. They still feel like their conversational partner could become their best friend because they're having such a great time. Alcohol just distorts our impression of events a bit and can make us more sociable.

A former best friend of mine and I are both rather quiet and usually don't talk about personal issues when we meet in daytime, but when we're a little tipsy, we'll have lengthy coversations about her boyfriend, my not having a boyfriend... But I enjoy both kinds of conversations with her, the sober ones and the drunk ones. I suppose it's about feeling comfortable and not depending on alcohol to be happy.

 

[bodafuko]

I can relate as a former heavy abuser of alcohol and narcotics.

In fact, that is probably one of the things I miss most about that first line of cocaine is how immediately I felt comfortable with everybody in my presence. Talking, laughing, socializing, and just generally being in the company of others became a breeze...until...the effects wore off. Then I was worse off than ever.

Since then, I'm still not a really social person. I don't like large groups of people. I don't like being forced into settings where I am expected to socialize in the right quantities and in the right ways. In order to cope with my general version of shyness, I am simply more 'choosy' about whom I do or don't speak to. People really are rather easy to read. If I sense that a person is not the sort to appreciate me, they don't get the opportunity.