Untitled

[Super-vagabond]

Hello,

My name is Super-Vagabon and I have some issues unfortunately .

I don't know if you will read all i have to say but I hope so because I really need you help . This is hard to me to explain all of this to you guys .

I am 19 years old and since I am 18 I live the worst experiment of my life. I am lonely , depressed and another thing i cant tell what it is .

I never graduated from high school and I feel weak and a lot of shame. I dont have any close friends , no girlfriend and no work . I live with my parents and I all want to do is Sleep and surfing the internet all day . I dont go to school because I dont have any motivation I try to work but every time I do , I got fired because im too depressed . I tried to talk to a psy but it doesn't help me . Everyday Im thinking about Suicide because I cant support it anymore but I dont want to die a the same time because I still have some hope in my deep inner self . I try to find who am I with questions like : What I like to do , What are my interests , what are my passions . but the problem here is that I dont have any answers to those questions I dont know who am I and this scared the hell out of me I thought i was going crazy or something I search what i want in life what i want to do for a living but I dont know and im turning in circle and I dont move forward .

I think I will stop to write for now because if the text is too big nobody will read it so if you want to know more , or help me ask me some questions .

I will probably post the next part .

 

[Sigma]

I never graduated from high school. I dont have any close friends , no girlfriend and no work . I live with my parents and I all want to do is Sleep and surfing the internet all day.

This all applies to me as well, except my parents aren't actually in the house for now (f*ck yeah)
Be that as it may though, I can't really give you the magic answer to solve all the problems in your life.
See, I came to terms with all this, that this is my life and I'm just gonna make the most out of it, growing up here was crap, life right now is crap except during specific moments, and the future looks pretty bleak for me.
No point in feeling depressed about it though, it's not gonna change anything.
Just find a way to live your life in comfort, it doesn't have to be all rainbows and sunshine, you just need to get to the point where it doesn't suck so much it makes you want to commit suicide, and then just keep it there.
It's pretty crappy advice I know, but hey it's what worked for me.

Don't feel like people will just ignore your posts though, maybe you won't immediately get a ton of replies if the topic of your thread doesn't allow for an easy answer, but people will still read it.
Or maybe they just not know what to say.

 

[Lua]

Figuring out what you want to do in life is really difficult, and the more you think about it, the more confusing it gets. I used to feel similar when I was 18, I was depressed and I had no idea who I am or what I want to do in life. Then I graduated and had to choose something, even though I was completely uncertain. In the end I just picked one option and decided to figure out if it’s right for me once I start studying (I’m happy with it now).

If you feel up to it, doing internships can be helpful because it gives you concrete experiences instead of vague ideas. But I know that that can already be difficult enough, so maybe start with smaller things like picking up new hobbies? There is no pressure and you might discover something you actually enjoy and regain some self-esteem.

I really know what it’s like to freak out about not knowing who you are. Thinking about it will probably only get you stuck further. It’s not something you can solve by analyzing it, and there is no need to. Find small things you like, maybe movies, things you like doing online, music, things you’re good at, whether it’s drawing, taking a dog for a walk, some school subject, tidying things up, it doesn’t really matter. Just realize that there are things that show who you are. Try new things out and if you don’t like them, at least you know who you are not. And really, you don’t have to explicitly know who you are in order to do something in life. Just try getting along, start with something and figure things out along the way.

 

[aribeth]

I too am like the OP. I've been dragging for the last 8 months figuring out what I am going to do. Doesn't help that I don't feel motivated. I thought of a few things I could do but didnt really carry them out because of doubts. Like what if I don't like the job, etc. But staying home and staring at 4 walls daily is driving me crazy. I have to do something but what? Wish I had the answers but I'm in the same boat as you.

 

[perfanoff]

Hello,

My name is Super-Vagabon and I have some issues unfortunately .

I don't know if you will read all i have to say but I hope so because I really need you help . This is hard to me to explain all of this to you guys .

I am 19 years old and since I am 18 I live the worst experiment of my life. I am lonely , depressed and another thing i cant tell what it is .

I never graduated from high school and I feel weak and a lot of shame. I dont have any close friends , no girlfriend and no work . I live with my parents and I all want to do is Sleep and surfing the internet all day . I dont go to school because I dont have any motivation I try to work but every time I do , I got fired because im too depressed . I tried to talk to a psy but it doesn't help me . Everyday Im thinking about Suicide because I cant support it anymore but I dont want to die a the same time because I still have some hope in my deep inner self . I try to find who am I with questions like : What I like to do , What are my interests , what are my passions . but the problem here is that I dont have any answers to those questions I dont know who am I and this scared the hell out of me I thought i was going crazy or something I search what i want in life what i want to do for a living but I dont know and im turning in circle and I dont move forward .

I think I will stop to write for now because if the text is too big nobody will read it so if you want to know more , or help me ask me some questions .

I will probably post the next part .

4 words

GO
BACK
TO
SCHOOL

...or maybe you should actually run away from home for a month so you realize that all the food, clothes, hot water, are not something that can be taken for granted. You don't work, you'll lose them. All of them. Doesn't the desire to live a semi-respectable life motivate you?

 

[Barbaloot]

^ I agree with this.

You have to go back to school and keep trying. A better life will not be handed to you, you have to work for it. And you are going to miss out on so many opportunities if you don't at least have a high school education.

 

[kindster]

You must go back to school i know it might be hard, but its hard for me too. This year i came back to school because i simply couldn't find a single job to do, and yes i am 19 also .

 

[Super-vagabond]

Thank You guys for all you reply I really appreciate it !

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe you should try antidepressants.

 

[Super-vagabond]

Maybe you should try antidepressants.

I have some in my bathroom but i dont want to take it . I dont want to be addict to this medication and I dont want the long term permanent side effect some people are getting worst than they were when they stop taking antidepressants so i dont want to do it .

 

[SophiaGrace]

It's not about being addicted, it's about improving your quality of life. You are in control of the medication. It's there to help you, not control you.

 

[Bokkom]

Hi maybe is you private message someone to tell your story - maybe it will be easier??? But I have to say that receiving feedback from so many people is amazing!! It's encouraging that you can see how many people actually reads your post!!! It helped me and I only joined about 10 min's ago!!!

The people here really seems nice - and I have a smile on my face now!!!!!

 

[Super-vagabond]

Nobody enjoys losing their keys, their watch, or their TV remote. But at least when you lose such things, you can go looking for them. One of the most helpless feelings I have ever faced was when I lost something important to me, but could not go looking for it.

I lost myself. It was not that I got lost while walking through the woods or driving around a city. No, I lost myself. I lost who I was a person, my goals, my dreams, my values, my beliefs. There were times when I felt like I was beside myself, looking into my brain, and saying, “Who is this person? I don’t recognize him. He has no connection with the past. No plans for the future. How can this be me?”

At one point , I tried to write an “About Me” page in my journal, and the best I could come up with was:

Who I once was, I no longer am. Who I am now, I do not recognize. Where I am going, I do not know. So who am I ? Hang around, and maybe we can figure it out together.

I know. Gibberish, right? But this is my life. It made no sense. It has little meaning. There is no hope for the future. No significance to the past. Due to a series of events in my life, all my dreams and goals lay shattered at my feet. I was Humpty Dumpty, and I did not think I could ever be put me back together again.

Im Doomed .

 

[perfanoff]

It's only you that can find and choose your motivation in life. I could give you mine but that would be myself imposing on you. Best of luck.