Valentine's Day is starting to bring the monster out....

[CenotaphGirl]

Now old CenotaphGirl would ignore my loneliness by relying on one of the guys that ask to take me out on a date all the time, to take me on a date and spoil me with gifts.

New CenotaphGirl has a new thing going, I am trying NOT to use anyone anymore, I'm trying to be a good person.

I can feel the urge coming back, I can feel myself justifying using someone, saying well at least he won't be alone this valentines day...

It's the one time of the year I want to be the opposite of a cheap date, I want to be wowed, surprised, romanced, you know?

I want roses and chocolates and teddies, to be taken to dinner, to be called beautiful, I wanna be treated like I matter, like all the rest of the girls on valentines day...

What do you all do to ignore Valentines Day loneliness? Is it that bad to go on a date, am I over thinking it? Is that still the same as using someone?

 

[Colster]

Now old CenotaphGirl would ignore my loneliness by relying on one of the guys that ask to take me out on a date all the time, to take me on a date and spoil me with gifts.

New CenotaphGirl has a new thing going, I am trying NOT to use anyone anymore, I'm trying to be a good person.

I can feel the urge coming back, I can feel myself justifying using someone, saying well at least he won't be alone this valentines day...

It's the one time of the year I want to be the opposite of a cheap date, I want to be wowed, surprised, romanced, you know?

I want roses and chocolates and teddies, to be taken to dinner, to be called beautiful, I wanna be treated like I matter, like all the rest of the girls on valentines day...

What do you all do to ignore Valentines Day loneliness? Is it that bad to go on a date, am I over thinking it? Is that still the same as using someone?

Roses, chocolates, and teddies. Superficial junk. But I will return to this in a moment.

It make me, and quite possibly half the male occupancy of this spinning blue dot, angry that so many women are thinking about using a man for their own selfish vanity.

Me, me, me, scream the women. I want things, more things, bigger things, attention, money, and it all must be bigger, better, more.

Guys are being roped in, herded, with the false pretensions of actually meaning something to someone. The ladies have gone through to Christmas excitement, sometimes having.used another poor soul throughout that. Then comes the New Year, New Me, which is essentially empty promises. But as soon as the cards and chocolates appear in the stores, they want the next high.

Returning to the superficiality of mere goods. Rarely do you ever hear of effort, unless of course he has maxed out his plastic, and you are miraculously in Paris or St. Barts. But even that says nothing about love or devotion. Where is the effort made an you?

But, the effort really is not worth anything. All you really want are things, and a series of photographs and false memories, to which you will boast to other women about. It reaffirms your sense of self, and the deluded value of who you are.

The guy will and is, discarded typically within 2 weeks. He might get 3 weeks if he keeps spending, but but then you have become tired of the exorbitant gestures. Often too, this is when the old mantra of; never dating men again, begins again.

Personally, I find this behaviour disgusting, dull, and utterly predictable. My hope for my daughter is that she will work with The medical field, and become a strong independent woman. However, I instilled into her, not to seek the Knight on a white horse, instead find a man in a white van, working hard, with good morals. A Knight is always looking for the next adventure.

So my dear friend, have some dignity, and abstain from the whole thing. If you want frivolity, buy.It yourself. Have a spa weekend, be pampered. Just don't use anyone to achieve it.

 

[4No1]

I want roses and chocolates and teddies, to be taken to dinner, to be called beautiful, I wanna be treated like I matter, like all the rest of the girls on valentines day...

What do you all do to ignore Valentines Day loneliness?

I just want chocolates everyday, not only Valentines. I go and buy it))
And I want to be loved also everyday.

Seriously I just take this day as a reason to take money off people. Nothing more.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Roses, chocolates, and teddies. Superficial junk. But I will return to this in a moment.

It make me, and quite possibly half the male occupancy of this spinning blue dot, angry that so many women are thinking about using a man for their own selfish vanity.

Me, me, me, scream the women. I want things, more things, bigger things, attention, money, and it all must be bigger, better, more.

Guys are being roped in, herded, with the false pretensions of actually meaning something to someone. The ladies have gone through to Christmas excitement, sometimes having.used another poor soul throughout that. Then comes the New Year, New Me, which is essentially empty promises. But as soon as the cards and chocolates appear in the stores, they want the next high.

Returning to the superficiality of mere goods. Rarely do you ever hear of effort, unless of course he has maxed out his plastic, and you are miraculously in Paris or St. Barts. But even that says nothing about love or devotion. Where is the effort made an you?

But, the effort really is not worth anything. All you really want are things, and a series of photographs and false memories, to which you will boast to other women about. It reaffirms your sense of self, and the deluded value of who you are.

The guy will and is, discarded typically within 2 weeks. He might get 3 weeks if he keeps spending, but but then you have become tired of the exorbitant gestures. Often too, this is when the old mantra of; never dating men again, begins again.

Personally, I find this behaviour disgusting, dull, and utterly predictable. My hope for my daughter is that she will work with The medical field, and become a strong independent woman. However, I instilled into her, not to seek the Knight on a white horse, instead find a man in a white van, working hard, with good morals. A Knight is always looking for the next adventure.

So my dear friend, have some dignity, and abstain from the whole thing. If you want frivolity, buy.It yourself. Have a spa weekend, be pampered. Just don't use anyone to achieve it.

I cant speak for the rest of the women but I don't want anything too flashy, I just want a little romance. Teddies, chocolates, flowers, is not enough to bankrupt a man, I dont want his whole life savings lol I just want a special night. It's valentines day, most people want a date, dont they? Who really wants to spend it alone? Why would spending it with me make someone unhappy? Truth is, right now I am not in the right headspace to be with a man, however, doesn't mean I deserve to be ignored whilst every other woman is being spoilt. Idk, thats just how I think, but I am changing, slowly, I have to be sure Im not a user anymore, as thats my New Years resolution.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I just want chocolates everyday, not only Valentines. I go and buy it))
And I want to be loved also everyday.

Seriously I just take this day as a reason to take money off people. Nothing more.

I guess so, but don't you ever feel like, why should I sit here alone?

Why cant I matter too?

 

[TheRealCallie]

It make me, and quite possibly half the male occupancy of this spinning blue dot, angry that so many women are thinking about using a man for their own selfish vanity.

It also angers some women too.


As for the day, it's literally just another day. I don't want to be made to feel like I'm special because someone decided that February 14 was a day to buy stupid honeysuckle and give it to someone, I want to feel like I'm special on random days where people aren't pushed by media and "obligated" to buy a bunch of honeysuckle. I want to be made to feel special without someone spending a lot of money. Hell, the less money you spend, the more thought I will know you put into it.
But yeah, if you toss me a box of chocolates or something, I'm certainly not going to turn it down.

 

[4No1]

I guess so, but don't you ever feel like, why should I sit here alone?

Not on the exactly day. Every weekend actually)
And I know the answer: because I can't relate to someone and sit with him)

 

[Richard_39]

Pfff...I worked in client service for years. Even Christmas has a faded teste of over-commercialisation in my mouth. Valentine's Day? Real love shouldn't be celebrated one day a year, more like every day. Valentine is just a day mass consumeurism created to lighten your wallet some more. It's not different than Easter or Halloween. Caching!

So I can't speak for everyone, but I for one wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone that doesn't recognise that obvious cashgrab. We'll celerate the 16th instead with Post-Aftervalentinesday

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Ugh, I cant believe no one gets me on this one... Maybe im always gonna be a user, idk anymore, I just thought more people would understand what's its like to be alone on valentines day, to feel less than, to feel undeserving.

If I was literally asking a man to spend thousands on me, fine, I see the issue, but im letting a guy who has probably asked to date me a million times, date me, on a day that benefits me and not just him and his wants. Somehow I'm this awful person who angers half the men in the cosmos... Well then they need to make up their minds, do they wanna date me or not. I'm not asking a man out, I'm not bothering men who want nothing to do with me and demanding they take me out. They are offering all these things, im just saying yes... because I want to feel special for one day, I'll settle for one day, one day in this whole crap year.

 

[Colster]

I cant speak for the rest of the women but I don't want anything too flashy, I just want a little romance. Teddies, chocolates, flowers, is not enough to bankrupt a man, I dont want his whole life savings lol I just want a special night. It's valentines day, most people want a date, dont they? Who really wants to spend it alone? Why would spending it with me make someone unhappy? Truth is, right now I am not in the right headspace to be with a man, however, doesn't mean I deserve to be ignored whilst every other woman is being spoilt. Idk, thats just how I think, but I am changing, slowly, I have to be sure Im not a user anymore, as thats my New Years resolution.

Truth is, right now I am not in the right headspace to be with a man, however, doesn't mean I deserve to be ignored whilst every other woman is being spoilt

Me, me, me, and me again!

You don't want him. You don't want ALL of his money. You just want to be centre stage, just like every other woman.

To further the irony, the website is for those who suffer with loneliness and depression, and thus has many.women.who won't get any attention. Some may not even want any attention. Yet you cry me, me, me!

Ah, but you are not in the right headspace, thus granting self permission to continue, as it excuses you from taking any responsibility for your own actions.

Why should anyone give you a second thought. You don't want them. You care only for yourself. You are happy to play with others, simply to appease yourself.

Why does someone who is good looking, articulate, seemingly intelligent, good humored, have such little self worth that they require constant affirmations, and is willing to act out to obtain them.

I fear, you are destined for a very lonely life, unless you start to look outwards.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I felt more alone and undeserving when I actually had someone than I do now that I don't. It's a matter of perspective. You want to focus on that commercialized bullshit where everyone tells you that you get chocolate and flowers that are just going to die, you will be miserable. If you focus on other honeysuckle, you won't be as miserable. I would suggest maybe buy yourself some **** chocolate, make yourself feel special.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Truth is, right now I am not in the right headspace to be with a man, however, doesn't mean I deserve to be ignored whilst every other woman is being spoilt

Me, me, me, and me again!

You don't want him. You don't want ALL of his money. You just want to be centre stage, just like every other woman.

To further the irony, the website is for those who suffer with loneliness and depression, and thus has many.women.who won't get any attention. Some may not even want any attention. Yet you cry me, me, me!

Ah, but you are not in the right headspace, thus granting self permission to continue, as it excuses you from taking any responsibility for your own actions.

Why should anyone give you a second thought. You don't want them. You care only for yourself. You are happy to play with others, simply to appease yourself.

Why does someone who is good looking, articulate, seemingly intelligent, good humored, have such little self worth that they require constant affirmations, and is willing to act out to obtain them.

I fear, you are destined for a very lonely life, unless you start to look outwards.

Centre stage of what? A restaurant? I'm not understanding what I want thats so crazy, I wanna be taken out on Valentines day like most single people.

Ugh depression, PTSD both new, but being lonely is old to me. I am a lonely person, im very lonely actually, doesn't mean I haven't got a queue of men lining up to take advantage of that... Even here I get gross ridiculous messages for no apparent reason.

At the end of the day, I am trying to change, however, I feel like im always doing it alone, trapped in... sadness. I used to play with peoples emotions, im just not like that anymore, since New Years...I try and be a good person, I question everything I do before I do it now, making sure that im not just being a selfish person.

Valentines day alone... spells... ugly to me, spells im a woman too hideous to be romanced, too sad and lonely to mean anything to anyone. I wanna mean something to someone, you know? I can be a little self centred, but I dont wanna hurt anyone.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I felt more alone and undeserving when I actually had someone than I do now that I don't. It's a matter of perspective. You want to focus on that commercialized bullshit where everyone tells you that you get chocolate and flowers that are just going to die, you will be miserable. If you focus on other honeysuckle, you won't be as miserable. I would suggest maybe buy yourself some **** chocolate, make yourself feel special.

In school everyone got a valentines card, no one wrote one for themselves and the teachers chose who each girl and boy gave theirs too, I always thought it was stupid, but now im older, I can see that life hard on this side of the fence.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Pfff...I worked in client service for years. Even Christmas has a faded teste of over-commercialisation in my mouth. Valentine's Day? Real love shouldn't be celebrated one day a year, more like every day. Valentine is just a day mass consumeurism created to lighten your wallet some more. It's not different than Easter or Halloween. Caching!

So I can't speak for everyone, but I for one wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone that doesn't recognise that obvious cashgrab. We'll celerate the 16th instead with Post-Aftervalentinesday

Lol you know what, I'd settle for that, I dont expect much from men, just 1 day in the year where I can feel special, thats all... I'd happily be ignored and ignore them for the rest of the year if that made everyone happy ... Never seen you post before I dont think, welcome or welcome back

 

[TheRealCallie]

In school everyone got a valentines card, no one wrote one for themselves and the teachers chose who each girl and boy gave theirs too, I always thought it was stupid, but now im older, I can see that life hard on this side of the fence.

You're missing my point entirely. You aren't in school, you're a grown ass adult. If you can't love yourself and like who you are. If you can't do something nice for yourself and make yourself feel special, how the fresia can you expect anyone else to do that? Are you planning to go through your entire life using your looks and sexuality to feel "special"? What happens when your looks fade? And unless you plan to get plastic surgery, they likely will.
Work on yourself, make yourself feel special because until you can do that, no guy is going to be able to, except superficially like you are wanting this year. Don't you want more out of life than superficial bullshit? It starts with yourself, not others.

 

[Richard_39]

In school everyone got a valentines card, no one wrote one for themselves and the teachers chose who each girl and boy gave theirs too, I always thought it was stupid, but now im older, I can see that life hard on this side of the fence.

I never got one. I was short, fat, had glasses and loved Star Trek in the early 80's. HUUUGE chick magnet at the time, eh?
Of course, few years later those same girls started seeing me differently when that changed, but by that time, I'm the one who couldn't care less anymore.
I still think that whole schoolroom thing was stupid. It has a direct influence on self-esteem and not a positive outcome sometimes.

EDIT: thanks for the shoutout. I'm always sort of around, in and out. Reading your posts, maybe that's your problem right there. Maybe you expect too little from men; you're supposed to feelspecial most every day, not one day a year. Once, long ago, I brought flowers home on a random friday. I got crapped on for not doing that on Valentine's....the point was utterly missed. That told me she and I wouldn't work, which she only found out two years latter...maybeshop around for someone who bothers when he isnt supposed to would make you feel more valued. Instead of this brainwashing commercial crap.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You're missing my point entirely. You aren't in school, you're a grown ass adult. If you can't love yourself and like who you are. If you can't do something nice for yourself and make yourself feel special, how the fresia can you expect anyone else to do that? Are you planning to go through your entire life using your looks and sexuality to feel "special"? What happens when your looks fade? And unless you plan to get plastic surgery, they likely will.
Work on yourself, make yourself feel special because until you can do that, no guy is going to be able to, except superficially like you are wanting this year. Don't you want more out of life than superficial bullshit? It starts with yourself, not others.

Honestly, I wasn't planning on doing anything of the sort, I'm retraining myself of the ways of the "nice girls" that dont use people, its harder than it sounds, in one breath women rejecting men is causing soul crushing despair and self-esteem issues, in the next breath me letting them take me out for valentines day is me just using them, its all very confusing.

I thought, oh no, you're over thinking it, everyone will say just go out and get dressed up, why not?

I have no looks anymore, thats clear, but not sure if that should mean I can never feel special again... I just dont know what's using and what's not, if I let a guy take me out and offer to pay half, is that still using? I just dont get it anymore...I was raised that men should pay for me and get me what I want, both my mother and father spoke this way.

Right now superficial will do, better than spending it alone feeling suicidal... I guess its different, I cant even be mad, I never used to get it, I never used to understand it...I get it now, and it sucks.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I never got one. I was short, fat, had glasses and loved Star Trek in the early 80's. HUUUGE chick magnet at the time, eh?
Of course, few years later those same girls started seeing me differently when that changed, but by that time, I'm the one who couldn't care less anymore.
I still think that whole schoolroom thing was stupid. It has a direct influence on self-esteem and not a positive outcome sometimes.

EDIT: thanks for the shoutout. I'm always sort of around, in and out. Reading your posts, maybe that's your problem right there. Maybe you expect too little from men; you're supposed to feelspecial most every day, not one day a year. Once, long ago, I brought flowers home on a random friday. I got crapped on for not doing that on Valentine's....the point was utterly missed. That told me she and I wouldn't work, which she only found out two years latter...maybeshop around for someone who bothers when he isnt supposed to would make you feel more valued. Instead of this brainwashing commercial crap.

Ah ha!! I was wondering, but glad you took a sec to reply. Awh nooo I hate fights thats a shame you both didn't work out. I love "love" I just cant help it, Valentines is like my fave holiday, I usually buy like a rose for my hair, and you know, wear red... It's hard to enjoy it when you're single as a Pringle though, unless you go on a blind date, but then you're using someone or something like that, and you're a bad woman. Also, if you reject a guy on valentines day you're a evil woman who only cares about looks lol cant really win... I want to be a better person, so I will always fight for that. Even if I'm confused as ever.

 

[Colster]

For me, just my own personal scope on Valentine's day. I would really love just to noticed, have someone ask how I am. Sure, companionship would be great. I love romance too, although the chocolates, etc, that's really not my style. I certainly don't want to receive them. Likewise, I would much rather give a more meaningful and personal gesture. Personalised items, notes attached to coffee cups. But absolutely no fuss, and nothing mainstream. Absolutely no gushing about it on social media, too!

But, I'm old fashioned, and it's been a long time since I've spent Valentine's day with anyone special. I got heavily used a couple of years back.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

For me, just my own personal scope on Valentine's day. I would really love just to noticed, have someone ask how I am. Sure, companionship would be great. I love romance too, although the chocolates, etc, that's really not my style. I certainly don't want to receive them. Likewise, I would much rather give a more meaningful and personal gesture. Personalised items, notes attached to coffee cups. But absolutely no fuss, and nothing mainstream. Absolutely no gushing about it on social media, too!

But, I'm old fashioned, and it's been a long time since I've spent Valentine's day with anyone special. I got heavily used a couple of years back.

Awh Colester, that sounds super romantic I don't wanna be alone, I almost cant be alone, but I'd hate to know I've hurt someone on a day that I hold special.