violent family

[sneha]

i come from a family that is violent, catfights and beatings are common, sometimes it feels they are very caring, but sometimes its just very violent, i get beat up by my parents even now, my mom dad both are very violent when they are angry. In our culture, its important to respect parents, and i should be doing same. In beginning, i didn't reacted when i was beated by my own parents, but when the emotional trauma became unbearable, i had to defend myself. now every time my mom or dad go in excess of violence, i tend to push them away, defending myself. they in turn blackmail me emotionally, saying that i am a disgrace on family and many other things, my mother doesn't mind calling me a whore or pros... just because i m chatting with my friends on phone, something which is very common.
they don't trust me at all. my brother's is no less. we are same age, and yet even he would beat me up sometimes when he is home.
my fault is that i don't help my mom with her daily chores, i don't like to do that.
im 28 single, overweight and unstable with mind because of all this. sometimes i feel like drinking or running away from home. this are emotional scars, not visible externally .
at first sight, i might appear as any other normal human being, but i feel all this violence has left me with little self confidence and low self esteem, other than this, i dont feel anything towards my family, its like emotionally i am empty.
at any time, i would be happy to leave my home and stay separately, all by myself, but thats possible only when i have a decent job that pays well. right now, although i am working, but it doesn't pay gud enough to sustain my self living separately, thats the reason i am not able to leave home.
besides this i am not sure what to do about this and everything in general.
i need a friend whom i can trust and some help.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm sorry, but people like that don't deserve respect. Sit your culture aside, and look at it for what it really is. Adults should know better than to put their hands on other people like that. They need to grow up. Children fight like that. I don't see how they would feel threatened by you all the time to have to fight like that constantly. It's a shame that people actually grow up in that environment. No one should have to stay in it.

Maybe you all can sit down and talk. If not, I'd leave. I wouldn't tolerate that from anyone.

 

[Minus]

Moving this out of the Diary area at the OP's request, in order to allow responses.

 

[Brother Karl]

Call the police on them the next time they do it. Then you will see who is the disgrace.

 

[tehdreamer]

You brother seems to have learned to be abusive from your parents. I hope you don't follow those traits and know it's not okay to hit someone just because they aren't doing what you want them to do.

I'm so sorry you're stuck in that situation! Are there any other family members who will take you in? Are there shelters for abused women in where you live? You might also try getting a roommate to move in with if you can't afford rent on your own. Once you get away from your family, I think you life will be able to improve greatly.